Experiencing Our Real Life
Are we loving to ourselves and open to others loving us?
I believe we all understand what real love is, from the moment we are born.
Why would we cry when we needed someone or smile to see a smile in return, if we did not have an understanding of what real love was?
I believe we still have an understanding of what real love is. I also know that most of us were conditioned to believe that what someone was giving us was real love, when we were not loved.
Would we know if we were conditioned (or tricked) to believe we were getting what we wanted?
We want to be able to give ourselves everything we need and want because we want to be a better parent to ourselves.
Are we continuing to believe the abandonment, betrayal of trust or abuse we were conditioned to accept instead of love, is what we really want?
The exercises for the next six weeks are below.
Doing these exercises over the next six weeks will help us understand if we have repressed our own needs, wants and desires. They will also put us in touch with our true understanding of what we want to have being loving to ourselves.
As a great parent to ourselves we want to give ourselves everything we need and want, with love.
Please watch the video and see how easily we could have lost connection to what mattered most in our heart.
Someone asked me, “If I feel that abuse is love what is wrong with it?”
In neurologic tests on the brain, women that had been abused saw photos of men that were angry or violent and saw them smiling and happy. The same abused women saw photos of men smiling and calm… but they did not see happy men.
There are at least two things wrong with desire to see abuse as love. If we see abuse as love we no longer can see abuse. If we see abuse as love, we are now blind to real love as well.
During the next six weeks we will be restoring our own feelings.
As we become whole and connected to our emotions, we will be tearing down the barriers to loving ourselves. When we feel lovable and love ourselves, we will begin to be comfortable having someone really love us.
Exercise Set 2:
Please do the previous exercise, exercise 1 first before doing these. After you have done exercise 1 three different times, proceed to the next exercises.
Each exercise is to be done in the same manner we did the first exercise. We need a mat, plastic bat and something like a footstool to hit.
We get in position with bat in hand kneeling on the mat in front of the footstool and then follow the suggestions for each separate exercise below.
Please allow a full day of happiness after each exercise.
Please do not in any way engage a person you are upset with during this time, because of feelings brought up by the exercises.
We are awakening our own connection to self and rewriting conditioning. We want to rewrite our conditioning by “feeling comfortable experiencing our emotions and happy afterward” so we open our heart.
We can always argue with someone later, right now we are giving ourselves the ability to feel our emotions deeply, there is nothing more important we can do until that has been accomplished.
Each exercise should not last more than five minutes. Please be sure to remember to do something that feels wonderful for your body, something that is good for your well being as well, such as exercise or receiving a massage.
We are empowering ourselves to be good to ourselves and have a different feeling about our emotions, one where we can have them and enjoy our life, not be afraid of them.
I am going to leave it up to you to decide what memory you will be upset about but only think about the memory and call up the feeling for a few seconds, do not allow the feeling to overwhelm you or shut you down.
After feeling the emotion, let go of all thought and feel deep anger in your body, then take the bat and attack the footstool yelling the words of each exercise.
After you hit the footstool and yell in anger a few times, please go sit down and feel as good as you can all over your body. When you have calmed down and feel good, please go do something wonderful for yourself.
We are just rewriting the conditioning that blocked our real feelings.
If you want later you can feel sadness and cry or yell but remember to just do a little and keep in mind that it was the past. Immediately after feeling emotions do something to be good to yourself and be happy or watch some comedy.
We want to set up a new pattern of allowing ourselves to feel all of our emotions but we want to be gentle with ourselves and not bring old feelings into our life now.
The exercises should be done one step at a time and only one a day. It may seem like we are doing very little but we are doing a great deal and will experience great results.
Exercise 1)
“Want me!”
This is the emotion and what we will yell when we hit the footstool, we want to be angry that we were not wanted as much as we should have been by someone.
Exercise 2)
“Love me!”
We want to be angry and tell someone “Love me!” Ultimately these are also for us to hear ourselves but we need to allow ourselves to be comfortable being angry at someone that could have loved us more, before we will feel comfortable loving ourselves.
Exercise 3)
“Hear me!”
We want to be angry at someone for not hearing us and doing what we needed them to do.
Exercise 4)
“See me!”
We want to be appreciated and enjoyed for who we really are, we want to be angry at someone that did not do that when we were told they loved us.
Exercise 5)
“Hold me!”
We want to feel angry at someone that we hoped would enjoy holding us.
Exercise 6)
“I am special!”
We want to be angry with someone that did not do what made us happy when we were little. We wanted to be supported in finding what made us happy and hoped it would make them happy to see us happy.
Please love yourself. Please forgive anything that was not loving to yourself that you did, we did our best at the time.
Namaste. I love you. <3
Healing ourselves and others with Cerebrology
If you are a healer of any kind, I would be glad to help you learn this new science and system of Cerebrology.
There are new discoveries that improve how we live. These advancements are happening faster all the time, the internet, software, apps for our phone.
The new advancements in understanding how our brain works, allow us to create new more effective ways of healing and personal growth.
The “unconscious mind” was in Freud’s opinion, the repository of socially unacceptable ideas, wishes or desires, traumatic memories and painful emotions put out of the mind by the mechanism of psychological repression.
Most healers still refer to this system of understanding our brain. Freud’s system is one hundred years old. There is no part of our mind that is a closet. No part of our brain is unconscious, less conscious or subconscious.
There are various functions that our brain performs. We can think verbally. We can move as we like.
There are also automatic functions our brain performs so we can think about the beautiful person we are dancing with.
The lens that gives us a feeling about their beauty is automatic, the way our heart races as we see their pupils dilate, the automatic sense of movement we feel as we hear the music, the emotions the music elitists within us…all of this is created instantly by the automatic part of our brain I call our “operating system”.
This part of our brain does not understand words but it does much more work than our verbal mind and it does the work so fast words would be too slow.
Our brain uses the pre-verbal language that we learned empathizing with how our parents felt about themselves in various situations. We used this same language to communicate with our body when we emulated and imitated them. The new science and system I use called Cerebrology, allows us to use this same pre-verbal language called affect, to connect to our “operating system” and re-write the feelings we empathized our parents having.
We can connect to a specific feeling we now have about ourselves and replace it with a feeling that we have consciously chosen.The improvement is in the pre-verbal language our operating system uses to instantly direct all the automatic things that go on behind the scenes of what we are thinking about.
If you would like to add the work I offer on this website, to your healing practice or just to help a friend, I would be more than happy to teach or show you to make that easy.
Email me at Bob@ichangereality.com
I hope it will be a welcome new addition to the wonderful healing you are already doing.
There are many ways to heal but they all begin in our heart. I hope this exercise gives you a little more strength in your healing practice my friend.
I belong, the exercise.
Click on the above exercise.
Thank you for all you do.
Overcoming overwhelming sadness
Overcoming overwhelming sadness without becoming depressed, phoney or thinking it was our love that hurt us.
Let me begin by saying that this is not going to be any nonsense about how to think or what ideas you should have. Telling someone what to think when they are hurt is ridiculous.
This is about growing during grief or loss. Growth is something that improves the chemistry in our brain. If we have a healthy chemistry in our brain during loss we can experience sadness but also see our light shine so we can see our way out of the darkness.
In part one of this work, we have exercises for the loss and sadness we feel from the end of a relationship or from the end of a career or job.
There is loss in relationships, a parent passes or someone we love leaves us. We have the opportunity to grow by allowing ourselves to continue to feel the way we did about ourselves because we were loved.
We should feel good to spite the people that were not good to us and if someone was good to us, we should feel good in memory of them. In either case, we have the opportunity to understand that we have the power to make ourselves feel good. When we understand we can and should feel wonderful even though we miss someone and are sad, we learn to turn on our light and a little light removes a lot of darkness.
This exercise is to help us have a better brain chemistry and feel our power during sadness.
Feeling good about myself.
Click on the above exercise.
The next type of loss is of career. There are times we do not succeed at what we are doing. If we are doing something because we admire ourselves for doing it but do not enjoy what we are doing, we may not make it work. There are things I thought would be a great achievement for me but when I found out they were phoney I was not able to do them. I would be sad because I had wanted to feel good from the success and did not know how to get that feeling otherwise. When I learned how to unconditionally love myself, I was able to give myself rewards for being honest and real. I was able to work hard at things that were outside of “the box” and give myself rewards because I was proud no matter what anyone else thought.
There are times we do enjoy something and just lose our job because of slow business. How do we give ourselves the rewards we got when we were working hard so we could have a good brain chemistry and not get depressed, petty or irritable? We have to learn how to reward ourselves all the time so we have the ability to do more and overcome tough times.
The following exercise will help us to grow from the difficulty and become more of a person we will respect and admire.
Can we give ourselves permission to feel good?
Click on the above exercise.
Giving ourselves the feelings we need, to have the strength to grow
Click on the above exercise.
Do we sometimes feel like we are lying to ourself and everyone else?
Do we want to put on an act or do we want to grow as a person?
see more expressions
I have to be real as the first step. The second step is accepting whatever that is. The rest is cake.
“My inner child doesn’t play well with other kids”
Real change, whether it is feeling safe, feeling beautiful or enlightenment is something that happens to us automatically.
You are in the right place. You are here.
We need to automatically reward ourselves with the feelings we want to have, for being authentic no matter what we do. This is the first step towards real growth, not being phoney.
To increase our self respect, we are going to do an exercise to love ourselves unconditionally and then another exercise to enhance our self respect.
Am I unconditionally loving to myself?
Click on the above exercise.
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Unconditionally loving who I am so I can be more myself
Click on the above exercise.
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Self respect exercise.
Click on the above exercise.
Unconditionally loving ourselves
Would you like to try a five minute exercise that will allow you to unconditionally love yourself?
These exercises will give us self esteem and allow us to reward ourselves all the time, for being authentic not just for the things we do to be admired.
The first exercise gives us the opportunity to find out what is preventing us from being unconditionally loving to ourselves.
This exercise gives us the ability to let go of what prevented us from loving ourselves unconditionally and gives us a new experience of ourselves as unconditionally lovable.
