How much does fear alter our relationships?
Learning how we automatically create our unique experience and story, has to include how we change our reality.
What happens in our brain alters how we experience ourselves, this changes our “frequency” and we create a different reality.
Let me give you an example of someone that would automatically change the way he experienced himself and would instantly change his reality when he did.
I recently had an old acquaintance over, lets call him Greg (not his real name it is Ted j/k). Greg is someone that is and has been very involved in his spiritual and personal growth for a long time, he even likes to write affirmations.
Greg told me that he had grown a lot since I last saw him. Greg said, “I just went thru a divorce and I learned a lot about myself. I can say goodby to what was my past because I was honest with myself and took responsibility for being with women that created problems for me.”
Greg said he had been in psychological counseling for quite a while and after the divorce he realized that his problems with women were because of an aunt that was very bossy.
“Greg how often did you see this aunt?”
“Not much but when the counselor asked me to remember the first time I felt the “feeling that I could not stand being around a woman”, I remembered it was because of my aunt.”
“So your first memory of this feeling was with your aunt and you were not around her much?”
“Yes, I just saw my aunt a few times but the memory of the feeling was there.”
“You told me in the past your father was wonderful to strangers and was horrible to your mother, sister and yourself. Do you remember telling me how your father would get away from your mom as much as he could and yell at her the rest of the time?”
Greg replied “Yes I remember.”
“Is it possible Greg, that you might have been conditioned from being around your father when he was abusive to your mother and apathetic about making her happy. Greg is it possible you empathized and emulated your fathers feelings? Is it possible you felt the way your father did, when you were with your aunt?”
“No Bob, I do not feel I could be like my father, I hate him.”
“Greg when you are with the women that you have this feeling with, do you feel as though you are up to your neck in water and you are struggling, so you have to get out or away?”
“Yes.” Greg said.
“Do you feel you need to leave them or yell to get control so you can stop the feeling?”
“Yes” Greg said.
I then told Greg that I had exercises that could remove conditioning. “Just as we struggled with the water before we learned to float and can relax and enjoy the water now, you can learn to relax and float in a relationship and enjoy it.”
Greg said, “That would be great for someone that had problems Bob. I had problems because of the type of women I chose to be with and I am happy to say my problems are gone now that I have forgiven my aunt!”
Greg added, “When one door shuts, another door opens. If someone loves you they accept you as you are. Real love is not about expectations but about respecting me for who I am.”
I asked Greg, “Greg why do you think the women you have been with in relationships were upset with you and why did they leave you?”
Greg said, “I know most women trade sex for feeling wanted. I am going to find women that are not all about expectations. I am looking forward not backward Bob.”
I told Greg, “I wonder if some people think they can only have an experience of intimacy when they feel they have control in a relationship? Greg you know the person that cares the least controls the relationship, right?”
Greg smiled and left.
The conditioning people have can prevent them from having intimacy. It does not allow them to have a wonderful relationship.
Greg is living out a story that was written for him by many generations of fear being passed down.
In a world that does not experience loving and being loved, the reality is altered to… “controlling or being controlled” and love does not live there.
I see people wandering empty inside just trying to feel good about who they are, afraid to have something real.
I have exercises that remove the darkness of the conditioning that alters a persons reality so that they are not able to feel the joy of loving and being loved, permanently. The exercises are free.
