“Awakening to the Beauty of You” at New Awakenings Bookshop
As you know my work is about re-writing conditioning. There are times we can become conditioned to feel anxious in our lives. I find doing the exercises in these workshops is the quickest and easiest way to re-write the conditioning we have.
There is a difference between feeling good, which is symptomatic relief of feeling bad and feeling good automatically all the time. If we remove the cause of what made us not feel good, we feel good automatically all the time.
Many people are not aware they have conditioning because they just experience a reaction they believe to be appropriate.
To have conditioning that makes us less ourselves, not see our beauty, feel uncomfortable, experience shame and not have the life we possible could have is sad.
One of the steps towards enlightenment, is having the ability to see our own light. The curtains and drapes that prevented us from experiencing our true selves and seeing the reflection of our beauty in the world, are now easily torn asunder.
We are going to do an exercise to be ourselves again. First let us look at what conditioning is so we appreciate how it would happen to us and how we can re-write it.
A rat is conditioned by seeing a light and then receiving a shock, a light then a shock, a light and then a shock. After the shocks stop the rat prepares for the anxiety that will come after it sees the light and that is re-recorded as the light and the shock was over and over, each time it sees a light. The light then anxiety, the light then anxiety and now after the shocks are long gone, the rat is still apprehensive. We now have a timid rat.
Conditioning is “the automatic preparation that happens to us before something.” The anxiety was a preparation for a shock, now anxiety is the preparation for anxiety….which can happen to us.
When there is loss of a loved one: there is love, anxiety and sadness, love, anxiety and sadness and we become conditioned to feeling anxious as a preparation to losing someone. The interesting thing is the trigger for the “preparation of anxiety” is not loss but love. Love then anxiety, love then anxiety….this is the conditioned response.
The conditioning makes us feel anxious feeling love or being loved.
Love may seem like it is about someone else but it allows us to be more of who we are. The chemistry we have when we feel love, allows our brain to work with much more clarity and we are much more powerful. For us to have love (which is a different intention than finding love) we have to be comfortable.
Conditioning is a preparation. We are going to re-write the preparation we have that makes us feel anxious when we anticipate wonderful emotions. To do this, we want to anticipate receiving love and pleasure as the first step.
As we anticipate pleasure from a massage that is going to happen or anything else that would make us feel wonderful and happy, we want to breath deeply and surrender. We want to practice this, relaxing before receiving pleasure and then stay relaxed and surrender as we receive pleasure.
The next step is to feel emotions are pleasure and to add the same relaxation technique of breathing deeply and surrendering to the emotions we feel that are pleasant.
As we continue doing the exercise, we feel pleasant emotions and then great in our body, we feel pleasant emotions and then great in our body. We re-write the conditioning and now when we prepare for emotions, instead of feeling anxiety and shutting down, we prepare to feel wonderful in our body.
We can also become conditioned in a way that does not allow us to see our beauty. To awaken to our beauty we have to remove the conditioning that made us feel shame, inhibition or insecurity.
Just as losing someone can condition us to have anxiety about feeling love. We can become conditioned to have anxiety about feeling beautiful.
If we wanted to be seen as beautiful and became anxious, we wanted to be seen as beautiful and became anxious, we wanted to be seen as beautiful and became anxious, we may have become conditioned to feeling anxiety about feeling beautiful.
We now look at a group of people looking at us and become anxious. If someone wants us to touch and kiss us all over we become anxious. Any time we are self conscious we become anxious.
We will have someone care about us, “when we stop feeling anxious and can enjoy being seen, touched and loved.”
Our beauty comes from our soul. To experience the beauty of our soul is one of the greatest awakenings we can have.
In this workshop you will do a simple exercise that will “rewrite” the conditioning that has made you feel ashamed, prevented you from seeing your beauty, feeling self love, feeling like a goddess, enjoying someone adoring you and a myriad of other inhibitions.
Feeling beautiful is about much more than our appearance. During the workshop we will see how others look at us in an awakened and enlightened way….we will see how beautiful and lovable we are in their eyes. We will see how beautiful we are.
This way of seeing is just removing the conditioning that prevented us from seeing clearly. We will experience our beauty at the workshop and after. We will always see how beautiful and lovable we are automatically after that.
The new experience we have of ourselves will allow us to see the real beauty in others as well. This workshop gives us a permanent “enhancement in clarity”. Now we experience ourselves in a way that will allow us to see our beauty reflected in the world.
This is a video of the end of another workshop. Each one is as unique as we are.
Please come to the workshop at New Awakenings
Saturday, July 28 2012, 3:00pm – 5:00pm
For more information you can also call me at 360-953-7408.
Confident part II
Most of us never think of ourselves as timid or confident. What is the difference between someone timid and someone confident?
In my opinion the difference between someone timid and someone confident is this: A timid person is uncomfortable and wants to stop feeling that way. A confident person has the ability to connect to what is going on inside of themselves and feel comfortable being vulnerable.
A timid person does not feel comfortable being more vulnerable. A confident person relishes the naked joy of their emotional vulnerability and is capable of being proud of themselves for growing.
A timid person is not comfortable experiencing their own feelings and emotions. A confident person experiences all of their feelings and emotions and is able to be vulnerable, open and grow from the lessons they learn.
People can see what is happening outside of themselves and want that to change. People discuss intent with me and ask me how to change intent so they may have happiness. When discussing intent, I tell people that we create things because we are comfortable having something, not because we want something we have not had.
I tell people that have relationships that leave them feeling empty to become comfortable experiencing their own feelings as a first step. After we experience our feelings it is possible for us to give ourselves the feelings we want to get from others. When we love ourselves, the universe will send us help.
A timid person wants to stop feeling uncomfortable. They enjoy making someone feel good, they want to be wanted and needed.
A narcissist is also a timid person. This timid person has traded the need to be loved in for a need to be admired. A narcissist has given up on being themselves, they have the idea that they can be more successful being what others want.
When we think being someone different will make us what people want, being comfortable with who we are…which is the “road to confidence”… just gets further away.
A sociopath is someone that is also a timid person. A sociopath enjoys having control of others and believes power is what is respected and wanted. Sociopaths enjoy using other timid people to feel more powerful.
All timid people are, “looking into someone’s eyes to feel good about themselves.”
With some practice experiencing all of our own feelings, we can understand what situations give us reactions that make us feel uncomfortable. When we are feeling uncomfortable we are not likely to enjoy feeling vulnerable.
I can easily rewrite a preparation to a situation that creates a reaction that makes someone feel uncomfortable. After we rewrite the preparation to the situation that made someone uncomfortable, we have rewritten the conditioning associated with the experience.
When we have rewritten the conditioning, a person can feel vulnerable and comfortable or wonderful. This ability gives someone a new experience of themselves and allows someone to have a much greater option of wonderful experiences. It is the same as if we learn to float…we now experience the water, ourselves and being vulnerable in a comfortable and wonderful new way. It is important to feel comfortable and wonderful being vulnerable in as many social situations as possible because our brain was created to be social.
When we grow in this way, we make it possible to rewrite the story that is the theme of our life. We can become confident at our core and have fun growing, being and creating.
I am going to give some exercises in part 4 that are easy and lasting that will help us to become happy, confident and capable of creating what will be wonderful.
Email me or call me if I can help you personally with anything. Bob@ichangereality.com or 360-953-7408.
What Do We Want
What we think we want and what we create may be different. I often hear people say, “I have only been with people that were.. (something they say they did not want) and I want to be with someone that is loving.”
I could sense that they had a powerful motivation that was creating this. I would tell the person, “If we are not aware of what things we feel motivated to “resolve” we may not be aware of what powerful unresolved feelings can do to alter the theme of our story.” I tell people “Our intent to create what we imagine love to be, if it has an element of desire to have something we have not had, is creating something that gives us something we can not have. The having something we can not have, is what we are creating.”
Many people have had bonding issues and because this is a basic need, it is important for us to understand. Not having complete wonderful bonding can give us lots of problems in our life, I can help you to resolve them easily if you do have them. The feelings of not feeling safe, not feeling we can have or own something, the feeling we do not have the ability to create a good life, the feeling we will have obstacles… are just some of the problems.
An infant smiles at their parent and if their parent smiles, they feel a sense of comfort and bonding, they feel their emotions are echoed and mirrored and they are seen. People that did not experience this response because their mother was too self involved or emotionally unavailable, may still be wanting to resolve the emptiness. An infant cries and their parent runs to hold them and take care of their needs, this infant feels a sense of comfort and safety. To have our needs met as an infant, we understand a feeling of being able to get our needs met in this world. Some people are working to resolve this as well.
An infant also needs a sense they have “object permanence” someone that is there always for them. Object permanence allows us to invest in ourselves and have the desire to create dreams of things we want. The sense of security we receive from having the sense there is permanence in our life, gives us the ability to create a safe life, have the things we want and also feel that any obstacles or problems will leave in time.
In their search for “re-bonding” many people recreate the same situation that left them needing resolution, “A parent they ache and long for that is not there, so the ache grows.” When the person working on unresolved issues does get to be with the person they ache for, there is a “honeymoon period”. In order for them to feel what they imagine to be love, they want to “ache and long for someone again”… and this pattern is what creates many different relationships with no object permanence, instead of one relationship that returns love.
When I work with someone I help them resolve these issues very quickly by teaching them how it would feel to have received this love as a feeling in their body and how to give this feeling to themselves. This gives a person real power.
When we understand we are our own parent now and only we can now resolve our unresolved issues, we begin to have control of our lives. We can love ourselves and respond to all of our needs all the time and we can depend on ourselves. It is alright to want to have someone that is always there, we have them if we learn to appreciate ourselves and be sensitive to our needs.
I teach people what loving themselves feels like and then I teach them how to reward themselves with automatic rewards in their brain for giving themselves a deeply connected, safe and comfortable life.
What is keeping us from having the love we want? When we resolve what we missed by healing our heart, we will be motivated to create real love with desire and passion, not longing.
This song at the end says “Before you came into my life, I MISSED YOU SO BAD, I MISSED YOU SO BAD, I MISSED YOU SO SO BAD.” If we feel this emptyness is love and we want to feel love, we may be creating this instead of real love. The feeling of wanting someone we admire, respect, love, desire, enjoy playing with, have fun talking to, listen to, work together with and create a life with, is much more than feeling empty inside and wanting sex.
Hunger makes the best sauce, when we miss someone we have and love, it is amazing how much more we appreciate every moment with them. Spend a week taking turns kissing each others body all over before you go to sleep (no more just kissing). There are ways to enhance feelings, so you can eat your cake and have it too!
If there is some insecurity, fear, inhibition, reactions that are erroneous, hyper-vigilance, jealousy, repetitive self destructive patterns, unrequited love, emotional angst, unresolved anger, perceptual problems that make it difficult to have clarity being with men or women, a loss of ability to feel safe, feeling blocked, depression, object possession difficulties, anxiety, disassociation or trance habituation, anger management or problems with creativity, please call me at 360-953-7408 or message me, Robert Milstein on Facebook. I want to help you see what is possible when the curtains have been opened and you see by your light.
May love run to you as the river becomes one with the sea.
A honeymoon every day
Couples exercise- A honeymoon every day.
The next exercise is designed to rewrite anything that prevents us from experiencing the romance and pleasure we deserve. We can have a honeymoon every day when we love ourselves the way our mate does.
We want to understand how much, how we feel about ourselves is a relationship we have with ourselves and how this relationship is mirrored in all the relationships we have, altering our reality.
We do self checks, to feel what we are experiencing when we normally are with our mate. We remember our honeymoon and understand how having an experience of ourselves as the perfect lover for our mate, improves the romance we have. We had a better experience just as if we put on a new outfit. When we walked down the aisle or went on our honeymoon, we gave ourselves permission to let go of what prevented us from feeling beautiful and lovable and we enjoyed our self more because we were our complete self. we liked, WHEN WE FEEL GOOD ABOUT OURSELVES AND FEEL THAT IN OUR BODY, WE OPEN UP AND SEE THAT THE PERSON WE ARE WITH ALREADY FEELS THAT WAY.
The reason we are in this relationship, is to be able rewrite anything that inhibit us from enjoying and celebrating who we truly are as well as enjoying all the love we have.
We will be rewriting what prevents us from feeling the same way about ourselves, that our mate does, as it comes up. We slowly spend time being the perfect love for our perfect lover and anything that makes us feel less, we let go of.
We practice feeling wonderful and allow ourselves to surrender to the good feeling, so that we create a more accurate feeling about ourselves. We understand the way we used to feel if we did not feel great about ourselves, did not allow us to experience the same clarity because it was an illusion that hurt us. As we let the old illusion go and accept this more appropriate way to feel about ourselves, we experience enlightenment. We are illuminated by what is within us.
Through this we learn how much power we have just feeling good.
It is our job to be the perfect lover for our perfect lover and it is important to do this exercise to let go of whatever is preventing us from experiencing this so that we can enjoy our honeymoon every day. We continue to let go of anything that gives us a feeling that creates tightness in us and does not allow us to become immersed in joy.
Each time we relax and surrender to the more accurate feeling about how wonderful we are, we open our hearts and create romance.
Our honeymoon is not the only time we should focus on our happiness. Every day we celebrate our relationship and enjoy all the happiness we can, is a day that makes our life better. Our relationship is a temple. In the temple we are able to find and open a well. The water from that well brings such joy we are able to break all bounds.
Couples exercise three- A honeymoon every day
Click on the above exercise.
Romantic Love
Couples exercise— Creating a deeper connection
Feeling lovable makes us warm and opens us. When we feel how lovable we are, we enjoy playing with our mate.
Our relationship is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves.
Rusty came in and sat on the couch. “My wife left me, she won’t answer my calls or open the door where she is staying. We have been arguing a lot but I love her and want her. Can you help me?” he asked me.
I said to Rusty, “You and your wife have developed a connection. Your sense of self is what opens and closes that connection. The way you feel about yourself alters the way you are able to see your wife as well. When we have a good feeling about ourselves, we open our heart and have the ability to connect. Opening up our heart, opens a link to the one we love and they feel that connection no matter how far apart it may seem we are.”
I asked Rusty if he remembered his honeymoon. He told me he had wonderful memories of it. I told Rusty, Our honeymoon is the time when we accept the way our mate feels about us as real. For that time we also are able to feel the same way about our self. It is a wonderful way to experience what we are in the relationship to get.
I asked Rusty to do an exercise with me. I asked Rusty to feel the way he did on his honeymoon. I asked him to relax and feel the way he did in his body and let go of all thought. I was going to ask him to do a self check to see if that was the way he felt in his body normally but before I did, he got a phone call from his wife. He listened to her and said “I love you too.” and hung up.
Rusty told me his wife called. He said she suddenly felt overwhelmed with a feeling of love for him and needed to call, he added that she said “I love you” and then told him to come over for dinner at 7:00.
Rusty and his wife did the exercises to remove the affects they had that prevented them from experiencing the love their mate had for them. The exercise opened their hearts and allowed them to have a deeper connection.
Exercise- A deeper connection
Click on the above exercise.
Please feel free to enjoy all of our free exercises for couples.
Thank you for sharing your time with us. Bob@ichangereality.com
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMStRERJNsM
Passion Meter
A game for your Android phone
The Passion Meter is now available from Android Market. This application is provided for you for free to have some fun with. I hope that you will enjoy the passion it brings to your life.
Passion Meter is a game that uses the perspective of someone that is enlightened.
The answers to the open ended questions, are there to help provide an understanding of how having clarity would automatically improve our experiences more than meditation or relaxation possibly could.
In the game, someone can ask an open ended question about their love life, their future or the meaning of their dreams. You touch the screen and the next screen gives the answer to the question. It is much like the I-Ching or Tarot.
The intent is to give practical examples of what drive-thru enlightenment, a system of simple exercises, would easily bring to us to create a better experience automatically.
The game is for fun but it is something that can open us to the possibilities we have. We would have much more passion if we just allowed ourselves to.
Please download this application for your phone and give it a try. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you.
Drive-thru enlightenment, will really increase the passion in your life.
Contact me bob@ichangereality.com and thank you.
