Only Love …Healing With Our Heart…Empathic Healing

Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own pain and have worked to heal ourselves, can we be present with the pain of others and help them discover how they may allow healing and love for themselves. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity and have a way of opening our heart so that we can open another.

Exercise 1 Empathic Healing.

What am I perceiving? The next time you are upset, sad, worried, irritable or annoyed go to a room by yourself and take some deep breaths and notice how you feel in your body. If there is pain, do whatever it takes to relieve it. Breathe deeply and let go of tension let your body feel light, relaxed and happy. When you feel good go back to the situation and if your perception has improved.

Exercise 2 Empathic Healing.

What is my energy creating? When you are having a wonderful time with someone, say nothing to whom you are with but put a small rock in your shoe and walk around with it till your foot hurts. Sit back down with the rock in your shoe. Watch how quickly the other person becomes upset when you talk. Our energy comes through our voice, our face, our body language and more. Others prepare for us in their old pattern of how they deal with someone with our energy and are not aware they do it….its automatic. Go take the rock out and apologize to the person you are with. This happens to us even when we think we are happy but are not aware of our real feelings.

Exercise 3 Empathic Healing.

Changing someone’s energy. If you understand what your own energy is and you also understand how to change your energy, so you can feel wonderful, do the following. Have empathy and feel the way the way the other person is feeling. Now try to emulate how they were feeling by having the same feeling yourself. Now we can understand how the feeling they have is altering their perception. Breathe deeply and let the tightness and heaviness go. With each breathe feel relaxed and light as if you were floating. In a caring and loving way, touch the other person. Continue to have an energy that is relaxing. Notice how much they are relaxing without your saying anything to them.

Exercise 4 Empathic Healing.

Finding what changes our energy in a negative way that we are not aware of. Our energy is altered when we prepare for something. This happens automatically and is controlled by the non-verbal limbic system in our brain. We change our energy all the time as we automatically prepare for a relationship we have with anything or anyone. How we feel about ourselves in any relationship is something we can change. First we must be able to notice the change. If we want to heal others we have to be able to notice this in ourselves to help others do this as well. Call someone you love and before you pick up the phone, feel how you feel all over your body. Call someone you hate and before you pick up the phone, feel how you feel all over your body. Notice the difference not in how you felt about them, but how you felt about yourself.

Exercise 5 Empathic Healing.

Empathic discussions must be authentic and feeling. We must be able to have a clarity that allows us to feel what our feelings are so well, we are aware of them as separate from another persons. We need to be aware of when we are influenced by another person and what our energy or influence is doing to the person we are with. We must remove any colored lenses we use to alter the way we feel so we may have the clarity to experience feelings deeply. We do this exercise with someone. Be with your own feelings for a while and then tell the other person all that you are feeling inside. The object of this is to become comfortable with feelings we may not want to acknowledge but need to be compassionate about if we are going to help someone with similar feelings.

Exercise 6 Empathic Healing.

Being responsible for my energy all the time. Taking responsibility for my feelings and energy means, I tell someone I love as I first see them, that I… have a headache, have had a hard day, have a stomach ache, am feeling grumpy, am tired, am irritable, am annoyed, am worried, am upset, have been arguing with someone, need to relax, am overloaded etc. In this way, the person I love is prepared for me and how I feel is not “put on them” which means they will not be upset by how I feel but will want to help. It also means that if someone says: Are you upset, are you angry, you look confused, you sound irritated etc…. before I say “No I am not”, I need to look inside and check to see if I do. If I am upset I may think how I am feeling is appropriate for the situation. Saying “I am not upset” before I check my feelings is not being honest. If I am not aware of my feelings or what my feelings bring, I may not realize how much I am responsible for what is happening. When we are able to admit when we are upset, it takes the “feelings of blame off the other person” and they feel better and are able to hear us and we both grow.

These are the first six exercises. There will be more. You have my respect and love.

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