Using Polar Opposite Energy to Heal
I have acquired a deep understanding that helps me all the time.
My understanding is, that just as much as a physically or emotionally traumatic event could change my life for the worse, a physically or emotionally healing event could change my life for the better.
A physically or emotionally traumatic event would make it more difficult for me to be present, I might not enjoy my connection to others as I had previously and it could be more difficult to experience bliss, relaxation and pleasure in my body.
A physically or emotionally healing event would make it easier for me, to be more present, I would enjoy my close connection to others and I would enjoy opening to even more comfort, bliss and pleasure in my body.
When I learned how to transform (or rewrite the conditioning from) physical or emotional trauma in my brain… trauma no longer was going on for years hurting my body, brain and soul, I had transformed it to something good for me.
I want to share it with you because I know you will enjoy helping someone you love transform a physical or emotional problem that has plagued them for years, to something wonderful.
During the exercise we will take the trauma energy, that is powerful and connect an energy that is the opposite but equally as powerful.
This is similar to uniting the energy of two polar opposites. In this process, we will be creating something stronger and more beautiful than we may even be able to imagine now.
When we are injured with emotional or physical trauma, we may lose volition, we may become confused, we may be frightened, we may be disoriented, our brain may be tired from thinking and we may feel we are more vulnerable. The loss of power and freedom are common for people that develop P.T.S.D., are indoctrinated into a cult or experience a physically debilitating injury to their body.
What is the polar opposite energy to something that disconnects us from our body and soul? I help my patients add a loving, caring and compassionate energy to the traumatic energy and the two energies together become something transformative. After the work a person has a deeper healing connection to their body and emotions, that enhance life greatly.
This deep connection to ourselves brings a birth of aliveness and strength, that only someone that has experienced healing after loss could experience. The deeper connection to self and the greater opening of our heart transform the loss. Perhaps this was not possible before the appreciation of what we lost and what we gained through love and rebirth after our loss.
Without the cold and dark winter, would spring’s blossoms smell as sweet?
Enlightenment begins when we look within. We ignite a fire to see more deeply within and we feel a connection to self that is also a connection to much more…eventually we experience and understand our personal development is also the key to our spiritual growth.
The following is an example of a physical transformation after a physically traumatic injury.
A patient that I had treated in the past, let us give him the name Jack Sr. came by and asked me if I would look at his son’s back and tell him if there was anything I could do to help Jack Jr.
Jack Sr. told me his son spent the previous weekend at the Dunes in southern Oregon, riding a Yamaha Banshee. Jack Jr. went with employees and friends and they brought their motor homes, their quads and four wheel drive racers with them to the dunes intending to spend the weekend riding and having fun.
Jack Sr. told me his son, Jack Jr. went up one of the dunes as fast as he could and flew off the top, expecting there would be another descending hill on the other side. There was nothing but a sheer fifty foot drop. Jack Jr. landed on his quad at least fifty feet below the place he launched from.
Jack Sr. told me his son went to the hospital immediately and has spent the last week in the hospital. Jack Sr. said the neurosurgeons, orthopedic surgeons and physiatrists told Jack Sr. that his son had 3 crushed vertebrae, 4 crushed discs and several broken vertebrae.
Jack Sr. said they wanted to put rods in his son’s back at first but some doctors told him the vertebrae were in so many pieces and there was a spondilolysthesis, an anterior slippage of a portion of his spine and then a lower portion was pulled back behind it. Jack Sr. said some doctors wanted to fuse his spine and told Jack Sr. they thought his son would always have a big lump in his back and would be bent forward, at the throracco-lumbar area, the site they wanted to stabilize. Jack Sr. told me they wanted to have some time, to figure it out.
Thirty minutes later, Jack Sr. was at my door with his son Jack Jr. Jack Jr. had a large hunch in his back and was bent forward so he looked like a prawn, he could not raise up to see my face, he was looking at my shoes. Jack Jr. bent forward in the middle of his back just below his ribs.
I palpated Jack Jr’s. injury’s. I told Jack Jr. that his broken bones were the result of the muscles in his back being torn and as they tore they broke the vertebrae by pulling them apart. As the muscles contracted powerfully the resistance to the weight of the impact caused tearing and after tearing each muscle, it would “guard” itself instantly from further injury by shortening and thickening. The muscles are stronger than bones so they would tear and break the bone it was attached to, before the muscle ripped apart. Jack you were not just smashing these bones you were tearing them apart because of the shearing energy that would have torn you apart.
I informed Jack Jr. that his torn muscles were a bigger problem than his broken bones. I told Jack Jr. that without our muscles directing our bones, we would be just a pile of bones….but when his muscles went back functioning in a healthy way, his bones would be the anchors they once were for his muscles and back. I told Jack Jr and Sr. we would need to work hard every day for hours, so the muscles could heal as fast as possible. I made sure Jack Jr. understood that the key was to not just relax the torn muscles and prevent further injury but to also heal the brain that got injured, so it would not continue to carry the trauma of the accident…a trauma that could and probably would give him lasting problems if not fixed.
I told Jack Jr. that I would be glad to help him heal and I hoped he would be able to do more than he could before the accident.
Jack Jr. told me the doctors told him not to expect to be able to do much in the future and he should understand that he will need to change his life to moderate the pain and prevent further injury, that could cripple him.
In two months Jack Jr. and I were working out on weights at a local gym. In four months we were working out very hard and Jack Jr. told me he could see his abs for the first time in his life. In five months Jack Jr. told me he was in, “by far the best shape of his life” and was so amazed because he never imagined he could look and feel so good. We would work out for two hours on weights and bike ride for two hours afterward every day.
Six months after the accident Jack Jr. asked me about riding quads again. I told him he was responsible for his body now and I knew he would take care of it and have fun ….and Jack Jr. did continue working out and did have fun riding quads that weekend and many weekends since.
How did Jack Jr. recover so quickly?
These are a rough outline of the steps. I hope these steps give you an idea about what it takes to give someone the polar opposite energy, in the same amount or greater so there can be a transforming experience as a result.
If you have any questions about physical or emotional trauma work please feel free to call or write me.
1) I connect with the patient and understand how much pain there is. Then I work to understand how much damage there is and what amount of time, every day….I will need to help the patient. My intention is about understanding that I need to hear the “crying” of a person’s body and soul. After I hear the crying I help the person hear their own body and soul as well. The next part of the first step, is to provide comfort to the extent that my energy and comfort more than offset the energy and pain of the trauma so a person feels wonderful because of my care.
2) I help the person connect to everything their body and emotions are saying and help them connect deeply with compassion and caring in the same manner I am, by participating in everything I do. I ask the patient to describe the feelings in their body at first and then after they are comfortable and capable of describing their pain, I ask them to breathe deeply as I comfort and relax their muscle ….and I ask them to breath right into that specific muscle. I have the person lovingly send consciousness, movement, healing, oxygen and blood to their muscle and feel it relax as we work, together every step of the way towards their health.
3) I consider the entire time someone is in physical or emotional pain, traumatizing. I not only work on the area that was hurt, I work on the person as a whole with the understanding that their entire body will want comfort and care, when just a part has been injured. I try to spend hours with someone every day that has had a serious traumatic episode, because the sooner they feel wonderful the sooner we can move to the following steps.
4) The next step after a person’s body and soul feels safe, because of my loving care, is to have them connect their focus to various areas of their body and continue the exercise of relaxing and breathing into the muscle, so that a wonderful awareness, consciousness and connection to that muscle is now available. My intention is for the patient to be able to move and relax each muscle separately and be able to connect and feel it move by itself and enjoy the change “that is happening to their brain and body. The new “consciousness” is an addition to their ability to have volition, presence, comfort and control, things they had taken from them but they will have in full measure very quickly.
5) The conditioning created by trauma, that gave us less volition and power… we transform and have more volition and power than we dreamed of, so we can open our heart safely and connect to our self more deeply.
One of the most healing things for our emotions and body is to allow someone to lovingly massage us for hours every day. After trauma, we are vulnerable and need comfort and care.
In general people have more difficulty receiving love than giving love, so it is empowering to receive love and care.
The next part of this step is giving someone some things to do themselves to feel wonderful. I show people how to use trigger points and massage their neck and stretch it and breathe into each muscle they want to relax while they do this. I feel the greatest healing comes from empowering someone to care about their own body, emotions and being.
6) We begin to do range of motion exercises, together and if possible some resistance exercises that will make us feel stronger afterward. I start working as their training partner, not their trainer or healer. As a person’s training partner, the work I do pushes them and the effort they put in pushes me and they see how much they push me and work harder …and have fun.
7) I use ultrasound, Chattanooga hydrocollator packs, Chattanooga ice packs, a physio-therapy G-5 massager as well as my own hands to help someone feel good physically and emotionally, so doing a small amount of exercise does not put more stress on someone, I make sure to remove the lactic acid and have the client feel wonderful before and after we work out together, so they feel better after they exercise. The bonus of feeling better after working out is again, added volition and a feeling of excitement about the future.
8) I continue working with a person until they can do more than I can working out. When my client is pushing me to keep up, I know it is time to let them fly and know I will surely see them again on this path.
Uncovering Our True Self
We are complex beings that are capable of wondrous things.
One of the most beautiful things we have the ability to experience, is feeling love.
In this chapter of Empathic healing, we are going to discuss what some of the most common barriers to feeling loved may be. We will then do an exercise that will help us remove the barriers to love.
It is important for us to understand how powerful conditioning that we are not conscious of, can be in shaping our lives. If we were once conditioned by fear to withdraw from, or suppress our emotions, that old conditioning will still create guarding inside of us now… and alert our autonomic nervous system to protect us.
If we have been conditioned to fear emotional intimacy, the old conditioning is initiating physiological responses, perceptions and ultimately making decisions for us. The distress and anxiety we feel when someone wants emotional intimacy is because of this old conditioning.
It is difficult to separate the conditioned responses associated with feeling emotionally vulnerable and what we may think is the normal way to feel about someone.
Our reactions may seem like correct emotional responses but the conditioning to feel fear when loved, will have control over our lives.
Today, we will rewrite some of the conditioning we have that creates a negative physiological response to emotional intimacy. Afterward we will be able to experience relaxation, better sleep, creativity, and a connection to our emotions and feelings without fear.
Old fears create our nightmares….and our fears influence how we feel about ourselves. These old fears can creep into the stories we have about our lives that see played out in the daytime, if we do not remove erroneous fear.
Our brain wants us to see our fear and understand it as something that was our past….our old fears are what make us feel distressed and immobilized.
Today we will do an exercise that takes a few minutes and we will feel safe from that moment on, experiencing our emotions.
We will feel our emotions and feel wonderful afterwards.
If we face our worst fear, get angry at the person that created the fear and afterwards feel great, we will rewrite the conditioning that tells us to be afraid to feel angry at that person we fear most.
At the end of feeling angry we need to also feel good, so that we “prepare to feel good” automatically when we experience emotions of anger or sadness towards the person that hurt us. After we experience feeling what we are most afraid to feel, we no longer have conditioning to “be afraid to feel emotions.” This exercise will allow us to experience much more of the depth and width of life, without fear.
After the exercise today, we can continue to allow ourselves to emotionally and physically experience emotions about our past. Please always remember to feel good before and after going back to the past to feel emotions.
As we experience all of our emotional truth, a deeper sense of well being, presence, confidence and authenticity to emerge within us. This new sense of self will give us the strength to enjoy the experience of real love, vulnerability and enhanced states of ecstasy.
The first stage of fear is when we feel paralyzed by fear because we are in our head trying to find out what the cause of the problem is and what we need to do. If we are conditioned to be afraid of deep emotions, we will feel fear when we feel emotionally vulnerable, we will also connect the feeling of fear we are conditioned to feel, to someone in the present.
If the cause of our fear is conditioning that also prevented us from feeling deep anger or sadness towards the person that hurt us, feeling that anger or sadness now and tagging the person that caused that intense fear a long time ago, will put a face on our fear.
Now that there is a face on our fear and we have felt our fear…. and felt safe afterwards, we no longer have the conditioned response to feel fear feeling these old emotions.
We may feel unsafe feeling vulnerable or in love but the feeling of wanting to trust someone, is so much better than wanting to hurt someone before they hurt us or feeling upset by someone that cares….
Putting a face on our fear also allows us to feel safe relaxing, so we stop having anxiety, sleep better and are much healthier.
We have more control of our life when we connect to both the intellectual and emotional aspects of our brain.
The exercise:
Get a mat and put it on the ground.
Get a plastic bat.
Get something like a footstool you can hit with the plastic bat.
Get on your knees on the mat and be in front of the footstool. Grab the bat with both hands.
Think of the person you were most frightened by. If that person was someone that frightened you when you were a child, then remember them. If the person that frightened you was someone after childhood, then focus on that person….you know, the one who never listened to you when you were upset.
Now feel how you were frightened by them for perhaps ten to thirty seconds and before you go numb….go into your emotions and get as angry as you possibly can! Now hit the footstool with the bat and yell, “I hate you! (or whatever)” as loud and as you can. Hit the footstool perhaps 5 or 6 times and yell during that, then take a deep breath, feel proud of yourself, happy and get up and relax and you are done.
Do not dwell on anything or go into your head but instead do something to feel good and be in your body. Go for a bike ride, get a massage, take a hot bath or dance. The important part is to just not think but feel great physically.
Do this exercise three times and try to do it within two weeks. The exercise should take less than five minutes each time, so you will have put fifteen minutes of intense work into this to remove the conditioned response.
You should feel better within a few days.
You pushed love down the stairs…
I grew up in San Francisco and when I was a kid, I would walk my wagon up a steep hill by my house and ride it down the middle of the street. I remember flying in the air when my wagon would hit bumps. There were moments I achieved weightlessness. Floating or flying, whatever it was, it was wonderful.
I remember flying far out of my wagon on some bumps. Sometimes I would leave the wagon completely and land on the road.
As children, we all got hurt playing. We got up if we fell down, wiped the dirt out of our hands and kept playing.
I got hurt learning to ride my bike too. I bet you got hurt learning to ride your bike. We get hurt many times growing up but getting hurt playing never changed how we felt about ourselves.
When the people that we trusted to love us, hurt us, it did change the way we felt about ourselves. Most people do not stop playing because they got hurt playing, they stopped playing because they were hurt emotionally.
If we became numb during the time someone hurt us, we may not remember why we stopped playing. Come with me and I will show you how we can find a connection to the playful part of us, once again.
When we are infants, we are unable to take care of ourselves and need our parents to take care of us. We focus on our parent’s emotions and happiness more than our own, because we need them for our care.
Betrayal, trauma or neglect hurt us emotionally, we get upset…and when we experience our emotions of sadness or upset, if our emotions make the person that is hurting our feelings more upset and they hurt us more…it is natural for us to stop having emotions, in order to be less abused… Denying our emotions is how we quickly lose our connection to “self” and soon, we stop playing fearlessly.
Connected to our own feelings about ourselves is where we are strongest.
The feelings of someone we bond with become a part of how we feel about ourselves. It is sad, but becoming numb actually makes the feelings of insecurity we have, hard to experience and understand as not our own feelings but the feelings someone else had that was in my opinion a jerk.
These are feelings someone conditioned us to have about ourselves. We were conditioned to become numb when they got emotionally upset about being hurt by someone. When we were numb, it was easy to condition us to accept their feelings about us, instead of our own.
Each time they lied to us and promised us love and took love instead, we had a dissonance occur in our brain that was created by our caring more about them than they did for us. This dissonance in our brain made us infatuated with the pursuit of their attention and love. This pursuit, of the admiration and attention of someone that does not love us, is the foundation for narcissism. The feelings of insecurity we have from someone that hurt us, is more about them and less about us. Each minute we get back up and fight to get our life and emotions back, the insecurities we have, just like realizing a nightmare was just a bad dream…disappear forever.
We were happy playful kids. We took on the feelings of the person that hurt us and bonded with them because we did not have our own feelings and emotions.
Understanding our insecurities are not about us is important. Our insecurities are like weeds that someone else planted and have nothing to do with us.
The insecurity weeds grow larger each time we listen to someone that tells us to abandon our emotions. Our emotions are the beautiful flowers that grow in our garden, when we care about them.
Re- connecting to our true self is like finding our garden, we have to hear and experience all of our emotions. We were not comfortable having the emotions that created our aliveness but we need to reconnect to them now. When we have compassion for our heart, we open the well that waters the garden and we bloom again.
When we love someone that loves us, we see who we are. We stop being worried about what others think and we enjoy what we are doing.
Narcissists are everywhere now, it is important for our ability to re-connect with our self, that we avoid them.
Humans are not able to be introspective without emotions. As a narcissist, a person is not able to realize they do not have much empathy for others they want in their lives.
Narcissists can speak of love and tell you they love you. Narcissists have dramatic swings of feelings about themselves because “feeling admired” is far from connecting to the real child/person within.
If we bond with a narcissist and we become numb, we risk losing the ability to connect to our emotions and become our authentic selves.
(Here is where we push love down the stairs…)
I was emotionally hurt a long time ago and because of that I began studying A Course in Miracles and Neuro Linguistic Programming. After doing N.L.P. for a while, I became a narcissist. It was great not to feel sad but I did not notice I was not feeling many emotions at all.
I did a lot of work to feel my emotions again and I am proud to say I understand how much better life is feeling all my emotions. I am no longer a narcissist and would be glad to help anyone that wants help re-connecting to their authentic self.
Yesterday on a new age radio network, I was listening to a very popular author. She was taking calls from listeners and helping them with the problems they had.
The woman that called in wanted to know, “Why do I keep chasing after people that hurt me?”
The author told the person, “You need to stop caring so much about people in your life and become selfish. You deserve to be happy.”
We do not need to become selfish, or narcissists to be happy.
When we are whole and connected to our emotions, we are able to be happy and love others.
I am sad to hear so many people telling others to do something that would only bring symptomatic relief and then bring the caller back needing more.
To remove the cause of a problem, I would ask more questions of the caller. If I understood more, I could empower the caller to remove the cause of their problems themselves.
There are maps that allow people to return to the connection they once had with themselves. Each map is unique because our path is our life. It is wonderful to show someone how he or she can create a wonderful re-bonding experience himself or herself.
It is only through love that we can heal our broken heart.
In loving our children, we see our own beauty. The person that runs into our arms with love is the mirror we want to have.
The love we have for the person that loves us, will allow us to see how much we are like the person we love and we will bond to the feeling they have about us.
When we have bonding experiences with souls that reflect how lovable and wanted we are, we will once again play with abandon.
Narcissist The Exercise for Healing
Video “Part One”will help us understand how a narcissist persona began and how it changes us.
Video “Part Two” is the exercise for healing ourselves. When we open our heart, have a way to automatically love ourselves the way others do and become real as a result…we can see our beauty with a new clarity and the beauty of others as well.
I love you.
Photo @ by Zack Milstein
Video Part One
Video Part Two
The Seven Step Program
The 7 step program:
1) It’s my life
2) My soul is beautiful
3) Emotions add color to the world
4) Teaching my brain to reward me
5) Creating feelings in others
6) Opening my heart to create what I want
7) Relationships
Each step and peer support group will enhance our experience of life.
Step 1 – “It’s my life”
A person entering the group accepts that they are now “their own parent” and have the responsibility of giving themselves the love and happiness, they always wanted to have.
We take responsibility for hearing and seeing who we are. This means that we honor our feelings.When we cry inside, we hear it and do something about it. When we are our own parent and hear our inner child, we feel heard. When we listen we become more alive.
When we laugh and are happy, we reward ourselves by being proud we were good to our inner child. In this way we feel seen for who we are. We become more confident and whole each time we reward what makes us happy.
By being there all the time for our inner child, we re-pattern our early bonding experience. Because of this we have an enhanced experience of ourselves in the world.
As we feel ourselves as a caring and loving parent that is always there, we develop object permanence. Object permanence is the grounded feeling people want. We feel safe, at home and wanted no matter where we are.
The group allows members to talk about the new relationship they have with themselves and how they are parenting their inner child. We support each other as loving and compassionate parents that are learning more all the time.
This first step in opening our heart, is wonderful when we have support for the work we do.
What heals our heart
Do we want to open our heart and have the passion for life we felt when we were young?
When I was going to Chiropractic College, many instructors told me….”Eighty percent of the time the body heals itself, ten percent of the time we do something to help heal the body, ten percent of the time we do something that makes the healing process take longer.”
We heal over time physically, emotionally and spiritually. The more we understand that we did the healing the more empowered we become.
As we take more responsibility for our lives and give less power to others, we become more aware that “empowered” is about taking our power back.
We want to become strong and healthy in every way. If we were hurt emotionally and someone “helped” us by telling us how to “think” correctly, we may have been helped to stop feeling.
We may know that we have to open our heart again if we are going to feel passion and if we have the courage to live a life where there is pain, there is also a lot of joy.
Exercise your body, exercise your spirit and please, get some exercise for your heart…
Sometimes to truly become whole, we have to be vulnerable. Please try the following exercise, we will see if we have the strength to love again.
Finding what makes it difficult to open my heart.
Click on the above exercise.
Improving how I feel about myself, so I can open my heart again.
Click on the above exercise.
These exercises are not just for romantic love they are to open our heart to the people we care about.
Would you like to have control of your reactions?
Becoming enlightened takes more than having good thoughts or feelings.
When we work on our brain, we can grow and permanently improve something about ourselves, whether it is to feel safe, feel beautiful or become enlightened, we want the change to be real.
When we are able to feel what we wanted automatically, we know we have grown.
I am introducing something called Cerebrology. It is a new science about our brain.
Cerebrology uses natural non-verbal techniques to enhance the way we prepare automatically. Our reactions, emotions and perceptions are all just automatic preparations done in the non-verbal part of our brain.
When we enhance the information we have that instantly and automatically prepare us, we can permanently improve many things and become more “ourselves”.
One of the things Cerebrology can improve for us, is the reaction of jealousy. We can permanently remove jealousy because it is a reaction and not a conscious thought.
This simple five minute exercise will rewrite the affect that creates the automatic feeling of jealousy.
I hope you enjoy it.
Click on the above exercise.
Love heals
The greatest thing, you will ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return.
Most of us are looking for an opportunity to have a feeling of oneness in a relationship.
The incredible feeling of oneness is something we shared with our parents before we were verbal.
When we were very young, we had empathy for our parents. We understood how they felt about themselves in relation to other people.
We imitated the way our parents felt and how they prepared for things and as it became a part of us, it was our “affect” now, not just our parents. Animals learn this the same way.
When we are in love and feel a oneness with another person once again, we have an opportunity to find clarity and resolution.
We can use the chemistry that our love creates within us to rewrite any erroneous affect we got from our parents.
When we are with a person we want to feel this oneness with, we release neurotransmitters, dopamine and nor epinephrine. These give us a feeling of excitement and heightened perception.
The more we are together with the person we feel one with, the more we release endorphins and enkephalins, these powerful natural narcotics give us a sense of comfort, safety and well being.
The feeling of oneness we have may come from the neurotransmitter serotonin. The important thing for us is that these give us the opportunity to rewrite things very easily.
We have the opportunity to re-write many things that we keep looking to resolve. Love is a powerful healing tool when we consciously use it to bring us enlightenment.
As we slip into this feeling of oneness, we can easily resolve our issues.
When we rewrite the old information, we are free to have wonderful feelings about ourselves all the time.
How we feel about ourselves alters how everyone else will feel about us, automatically.
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How are we able to rewrite affect, is it like a memory?
In experiments rats were first conditioned by getting a shock after hearing a horn.
Then just the horn sound was made without a shock and the rats continued to panic, a sign they had become conditioned.
The rats were unconditioned by using a drug that made them feel no emotion or fear. The sound of the horn was played when they were drugged and there was no reaction.
After the drug wore off the horn was again sounded and there was again no reaction from the rats.
What prepares us to react is a memory of a feeling. This memory is something like a file we open when we need information about a situation.
The memory is a solid thing like concrete before we access it.
As we review the file of the memory, it is no longer a “cement like physical thing” because it is being used, it is not a “memory” but rather a current item we are playing in our mind.
Because the “memory” is now a current event of thought, it is open to being rewritten or rerecorded with whatever new information we want to add to it.
When we are done thinking about the rerecording or what we edited after reviewing, it again becomes a solid object in the brain as it is being stored.
We edit memory each time we visit it.
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There are many types of touch. Please be careful to match the type of touch to the healing that is desired.
Recognizing what prepares me so I am not feeling comfortable or beautiful with a loving touch.
Click on the above exercise.
Rewriting what prepares me, so I am comfortable, feel beautiful and happy when I receive a loving touch.
Click on the above exercise.
