I Change My Reality
I remember feeling betrayed by someone, that I didn’t really care that much about and I remember the intensity of negative feeling I had about the person. The person I was upset with, triggered something in me and I knew the way I felt was irrational.
I worked to “release” the irrational and uncomfortable feeling that had been triggered, from my soul and body and I did what was to become the exercise we are going to do today.
Doing this exercise I recognized the very powerful feeling was from no experience of my own but from a feeling I picked up from my father.
My father’s feeling of fear of caring about people came from caring about people and then being put in a concentration camp.
It was difficult to understand (before doing this exercise many years ago) that my father’s feelings from a concentration camp had become mine.
My father lost his family to the Nazi’s, it was a real event for him.
Each time my father told me about his feelings I empathized with them deeply and felt the change come over me as if it became night.
My father would also become cold and distant, or suddenly angry.
I remember my father driving away if I did not get in the car fast enough, leaving me in dangerous places when I was a very young child.
I also remember my father often telling me he hoped that someday I would look less like a monster and more human.
My father had horrible feelings and would tell me it was because of me.
When my father would push me away or become abusive to me, I would feel my father’s feeling,…just as if it were my own feeling inside me and feel how he felt about me while he had a toxic feeling….I felt the feeling my father had about me so deeply, it was at times the way I felt about myself.
The feeling my father had came into me and instead of feeling upset with my father, I felt ugly and bad in my body.
I was uncomfortable caring about myself because paying attention to myself brought up my father’s feelings about me, so I avoided thinking about myself.
When I had feelings of love because someone loved me, I would feel happy and then… I would suddenly feel strong emotions that were uncomfortable to feel. I would pretend not to have upsetting emotions but I could not stop feeling weird feelings that made no sense. I would end up pushing someone away to stop feeling uncomfortable, because I had no control of how bad I felt.
I did not realize it at the time but I was more comfortable with someone that did not pay attention to me, even though I wanted very much to feel loved.
Because I loved and needed my father and I was just a small child, I had no idea that my father was pushing me away for the same reason I would later push others away….because we felt uncomfortable when we felt our own emotions and feelings about ourselves.
My father was projecting feelings on me, that the years of abuse from Nazi guards created, feelings he tried to hide.
My father’s feelings, that came into me made me feel horrible, I was not able to look in the mirror without feeling a stomach ache, I was insecure and I imagined if I felt attractive, I would be happier.
I did all kinds of things to feel better. I did bodybuilding and got a standing ovation at the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium but would not take off my shirt afterward for pictures because it made me feel weird. I learned A Course in Miracles and even taught the class but it did nothing to help me, after twelve years of therapy I had lots of sessions of crying but still felt the same about myself, I won dance contests all over L.A. and was told I was attractive but I never felt I was attractive.
I did the following exercise out of desperation and it was a miracle how quickly and easily it worked. I instantly felt as though the feeling had been”taken off of me.” I felt better than someone telling me, “sorry that was not about you, I was in a bad mood and I was still upset from a fight I had before you got here,” but it was one million times more powerful.
The exercise works because the feeling inside us, is not something we should even have, it is like a big turd in us.
When we feel the feeling as a huge toxic feeling that belonged to someone else, that was put in us without our consent, we can also let the feeling go.
While we have the file open that the toxic feeling was in, we can also add information to the same file about the value and meaning of the toxic feeling that was not ours. We can add an understanding that the feeling was erroneous and harmful to us and not appropriate to our life. What we are doing is similar to editing a video tape about us and removing the other person we didn’t want in the video.
At the time we got the feeling it was something we picked up and used, to help us navigate in the real world. Now that we know this toxic feeling is not from our own experience but from a parents experience and makes our lives worse not better, we can reduce the significance of the feeling for us, so it does not alter our brain, autonomic nervous system, smooth muscles, blood pressure or perceptions.
When I let go of my father’s feelings in me, I also let go of what kept me from opening my heart. I am able to care about myself and I am able to feel someone’s love and feel safe too.
That is why I named this website “I change reality,” because I changed my reality when I worked on what was inside me and I know you are reading this because you will change your reality for the better too.
To be our authentic selves we want to remove feelings of sadness, insecurity, fear and anger that someone put in us, that are their feelings about themselves.
We are going to look at the deep feelings that other’s may call our “unconscious” but in reality, may just be someone”s feelings about themselves that we have operating in us. The feelings of someone else that have come into us, may be much more powerful than our own feelings and because they are so strong, they can change how we feel and behave.
The feelings that came into us from someone else, will not be “unconscious” for us after the exercise. We will be conscious of the feeling and aware of it as not our own, so we can stop reacting to it and ignore it. We will not react to the feeling after the exercise.
Normally an emotionally healthy parent or person that we depend on, would protect us from their toxic feelings.
The parent that hurts us emotionally, may feel insecure or angry but they should not have made us feel the same way they felt.
We were not insecure or afraid of being loved before someone’s toxic feelings about themselves came into us.
We took in feelings that we do not understand because they do not fit us.
Today we will remove these toxic feelings and experience our own authentic life.
How did we get conditioned to have the same feelings about ourselves our parents had about themselves?
Some cats are taught by their mother to be afraid of people even if they are being fed and cared for by people and it may be because their mother got hurt or abandoned by a person.
If a kitten goes to a person to be loved and the mother cat fears people, she will get upset with the kitten and hurt the kitten so the kitten becomes conditioned to feel fear when it goes to a person.
A kitten does not need to actually have an experience of a person that hurts the kitten for a kitten to be afraid if the parent cat puts their feelings in the kitten, they just identify with their parents feelings and become conditioned by them.
Most people that feel insecure, have no experience other than perhaps not being comforted by a parent, to feel fear of love.
If a parent or someone we trusted was upset about being hurt by someone they loved, their toxic feelings about themselves could easily be passed to us, particularly if they wanted us to empathize with them. Many people grow up to be just like their parents because of this, no matter what they do to be different.
When or if we feel a sudden overwhelming impulse of fear, insecurity, anger or any reaction that does not fit with who we are, it is usually because of someone’s powerful old toxic feelings, not our own.
If a reaction we had was because of an old experience it would not be as powerful as an old toxic feeling we adopted. If we had an old experience that created a reaction, we would remember the experience and understand where the feeling came from.
I am holding a feral cat I took in two weeks ago while I am writing this. The cat loves batting at things that move on the screen. I know the cat likes being held too because it purrs like crazy. We all deserve to experience how lovable we are.
Emotional and physical release exercise:
A) Emotional preparation:
If we feel some feeling that we believe, SOMEONE MADE US FEEL! and the feeling was not a conscious decision but it was a powerful reaction that HAPPENED TO US! This is a feeling we want to work on because we do not have “a conscious connection to an experience that created the feeling” or “an experience of it as our own from our memories of experiences.”
This powerful feeling that belonged to someone else and reactions that it creates in us can take control of our lives.
Because someone put the feeling in us, when we experience the feeling again it will feel as though someone else is making us feel this way!
This feeling that was someone’s toxic feeling and is now a part of us, is what we want to experience in this exercise so we are going to bring it up.
This feeling can be jealousy, anger, pushing love away, self destructiveness…we will do one today and we can do the exercise again for each one of these.
We are going to connect to the feeling that creates our reaction or sadness or depression and understand it on a gut level as not being ours! We are going to experience the feeling strongly and just as strongly we are going to understand and experience the feeling as something that belongs to someone else, that we regret feeling and do not ever again want to feel inside of us because it is not about us….and as we understand the feeling is making us sick, we are going to puke it out.
B) Preparation of area to do the exercise:
Get towels, a plastic bat, a mat to kneel on, something you can hit with the bat, a bucket and Kleenex.
C) Doing the exercise:
Step One:
We are going to scream, yell and hit something to get to both the toxic feeling we have as well as a feeling we are powerful up. We want the feeling of anger and power so we do not feel overwhelmed by the toxic feeling but have the strength to push it off and out of us.
Step Two:
We will hit something and get upset about the feeling being put in us and as we do we will feel the feeling more deeply. We can cry or scream as well at this time but keep it short it is not our feeling we are just bringing it up….
Step Three:
Start screaming “Get the fuck out of me! or Get the fuck off of me! or Fuck you take this back asshole! or This is not me it is not my fucking feeling!” and as you yell experience the feeling as something separate from you, something like feces or puke…
Now just make a noise and no words, focus on the feeling and push it up and out from your guts. Moan or make the sound you need to make as loud and long as you need to get the toxic feeling that belongs to someone else, out of you.
Step Four:
Get on your hands and knees over the bucket, yell and push the feeling that is sickening and not part of you out by squeezing deep in your guts and moving the feeling out towards your mouth while spitting into the bucket.
Continue pushing the feeling out of you until clear liquid comes out when spit and keep spitting and pushing until you puke a little into the bucket, if you can.
The entire exercise should take about 20 minutes, so this part of the exercise where you spit into a bucket and get the poison that was put into you back out, should take no more than 5 minutes.
Step Five:
When the feeling is completely out of you, relax and let go of it. Take a few deep breathes and feel your body lighten. Now go out and have a wonderful time.
You will experience nature or anything with a vibrancy and beauty that you could only experience being on drugs before.
Try not to have any negative experiences for the next eight hours, because on the microscopic level the new memory is hardening into a lasting memory….a memory of this feeling not being about you.
Step Six:
If the feeling comes up again do the exercise again.
The Power of Being Real
Today we are going to learn a new exercise.
One part of the exercise will be used to rewrite the conditioning we have that creates physical guarding in our body, when we feel stress.
Another part of the exercise will be used to rewrite the conditioning that creates walls of avoidance or resistance to our being loved, to us caring about ourselves, or to us wanting the things that matter most to us.
The conditioning that causes us to guard ourselves physically and emotionally, was created to protect us from someone in our past.
People have few negative memories of a parent that was not emotionally mature enough to be unselfish and caring.
It would be very difficult for us to have memories of a parent that was not there with us, caring about us.
When we were very young, we saw everyone as part of us. If one of our parents did not enjoy seeing us and hearing us, or enjoy the responsibility of taking care of us, we did not see them as neglecting us.
As a baby if we were frightened or hurt and our parent did not comfort us, we did not see our parent as someone that was betraying the trust we had in them.
From birth we would cry to be cared for if we needed care. We smiled and laughed so that our parent would smile and laugh back, from infancy.
If our parent did not hold us, enjoy caring for our needs or enjoy spending time with us, we did not perceive our parent as being apathetic to us.
If a parent that did not comfort us when we needed them, got triggered by our crying, emotions, or desire for their attention… got distant and upset pushing us further away, we became frightened of them….and as we felt our parents feelings and energy in us, that feeling and energy conditioned us to fear our own emotions, to fear caring about our own needs and fear love.
When we become triggered now, we feel our parents energy in us and that “feeling of pushing away” is still creating guarding in our body and emotions instead of allowing us to feel safe and relaxed, when we care about something or feel loved.
This triggered energy in our parents was most likely something that happened to them and has been passed down for a while. The feeling or energy is triggered and we freeze like a bunny in a field, that realizes it is in danger moving. This “guarding and fear about caring too much” prevents us from moving forward to have the love of someone that would help us rewrite the feeling we have to not care about ourselves, or feel fear caring about someone else.
In the first stage of our experience of fear, our brain “freezes us in place” by creating guarding in our body and emotions, our brains resources are all transferred into thought as our brain activates the cingulate gyrus to hyperfocus.
Our “fight or flight” system is the second stage of fear. When our fight or flight system is engaged, it is because our brain has decided it is best not to stay frozen but instead to take control of our life and run or fight for our well being.
We were not able to run or fight as a young child, we had to stay and guard ourselves, so we were numb to our fear, hurt and anger….these very same “frozen feelings” are what we bring up when we are heard and loved now…
The reason we avoid, resist or become angry at someone that hears us, sees us and loves us, is because of the old conditioning of fear of loving someone that loves us and the feelings we never got to “feel” about someone that loved us and betrayed our trust.
Today we are going to move out of being stuck in the first stage of fear and add the “fight or flight” response or second stage of fear, to the folder that creates our physical and emotional guarding, as our new “enlightened response” ….and direct anger towards the person we never got angry at so that we stop guarding and feel comfortable opening our heart again.
Today we are going to get angry at the resistance, avoidance or hostility the person that created our conditioning had for our love. When we direct our anger at the person that created our conditioning, we tag the person that we are angry at and we add the feeling we are powerful and safe from them now, to the folder of our conditioning.
Now the folder that once contained information that gave us a response of guarding, has a “response” that is empowering as well as a perception of ourselves as assertive and capable.
Each time we rewrite something in the folder of our conditioning, it is less likely to be triggered. It does not take long doing the exercises before the old folder does not get triggered or open at all.
I see people that carry the conditioning from their past in their body and life. I feel the tightness, restriction of movement and pain they experience when I treat them.
When we are emotionally stressed we do not breathe deeply. Many people have to consciously focus on breathing deeply, because the guarding in their body does not allow them to naturally breathe deeply, without consciously focusing on breathing and relaxing.
We would “struggle” to float if we were too physically “guarded.” Being guarded tightens the muscles around our chest, shoulders, abdomen and neck, so it is almost impossible to expand our lungs deeply. If we are “guarded” we can’t inhale the amount of air required for us to become buoyant in the water, or to feel present and make others feel comfortable.
The conditioning that creates physical guarding, causes us to struggle with our life all the time.
Just as we learn to float one time and from then on, we are capable of floating anywhere….our fear and guarding from past conditioning will be rewritten non-verbally and we will have that comfort as our new way of being.
When the software we have from conditioning is triggered, we are in stage one of fear and our brain changes the way it works as well as starting a cascade of other events for our protection.
The triggered software alarms our autonomic nervous system to prepare for something bad to happen to us and we begin guarding in our muscles and shut down our emotions.
Our brain changes how it processes information when our old conditioning is triggered.
When our cingulate gyrus is activated, our brain looks to find a solution and will look for the cause of the problem until it finds a cause.
Because we are not capable of introspection when we are in stage one or stage two fear, when we are triggered, we do not realize that we are “transferring old fear, resistance and anger that has remained frozen in us” to someone willing to hear our emotions.
When we are triggered, we see our problem as being about someone else, not about us.
As we withdraw from our emotions, we disconnect from our deepest sense of self.
The perception of self-in relationship to others we have, is based a great deal on feeling our emotions and the emotions of others.
For us to feel loved, we have to feel emotions and not guard.
It is always very helpful to do the beginning exercises described in Empathic Healing Part 4.
Please watch the following short video.
We are “our own parent” now.
To be loving to ourselves and our body, without resistance. To care about what matters most to us and not avoid what matters. To seek comfort and not push it away. To enjoy all of our emotions comfortably. To feel good loving someone that loves us.
EXERCISE PREPARATION:
1) Have the person that created your conditioning in mind when you do the exercise. We are working on the contents of the file that our conditioning is in. Feeling comfortable with emotions we did not feel safe feeling and directing our anger towards the very person that we were afraid to be angry at, is what will allow us to change the conditioned response of “guarding” instead of feeling safe experiencing all of our emotions.
2) Have a plastic bat, something to hit with the plastic bat, a small trash can and Kleenex. We will feel some emotion we resist, avoid or become angry about. We will yell one of the suggested phrases associated with what we avoid feeling and as we yell as loud as possible, we will hit something with the plastic bat between 3 and 5 times.
Suggested phrases:
a) I fucking hate you
b) fuck you
c) you fucking ass hole
d) love me, fucking love me
e) take care of me, care for me
f) hear my feelings asshole
g) pay attention to me, hear and see me
h) be good to me and enjoy it you fucking jerk
i) make up one of your own phrases
3) After the exercise you will want to do something that gives you a feeling of being in your body and enjoying the experience. I suggest bike riding, getting a massage, sitting in a hot tub, doing some exercise or just going for a walk. When you are done bike riding or whatever you choose, please get something good to eat and watch some comedy or listen to some music you enjoy. It is best to have things prepared in advance so that you are able to feel bliss for as long as possible.
THE EXERCISE:
A) Find a place that you generally experience tightness and soreness in a muscle when you experience stress.
B) Push two fingers into the belly of the muscle, continue pushing until taking a full deep breath is difficult to do.
C) Keep trying to breathe and expand your lungs, while you push into the tight muscle.
D) Stop pushing into the muscle. Get the bat. Focus on the person that created your conditioning.and direct your anger towards them. Take a few deep breathes and yell and hit with the plastic bat for 3-5 hits while yelling.
E) Now lie down and completely relax from head to toe while continuing to breathe as slowly and deeply as possible. Do not think but instead feel your body relax as you breathe. Feel the area that was tight relax more and more with each breathe and feel your body lighten each time you exhale..
F) When you are relaxed get up and do whatever you planned, go bike riding or get a massage.
G) Enjoy feeling emotions or all kinds but try to be happy and have fun or sleep until eight hours has passed and the new feeling that it is safe to feel emotions is hardened and lasting in your brain.
SCHEDULE:
Please do this exercise once or twice a week for six weeks.
If you need any help please contact me.
Experiencing Our Real Life
Are we loving to ourselves and open to others loving us?
I believe we all understand what real love is, from the moment we are born.
Why would we cry when we needed someone or smile to see a smile in return, if we did not have an understanding of what real love was?
I believe we still have an understanding of what real love is. I also know that most of us were conditioned to believe that what someone was giving us was real love, when we were not loved.
Would we know if we were conditioned (or tricked) to believe we were getting what we wanted?
We want to be able to give ourselves everything we need and want because we want to be a better parent to ourselves.
Are we continuing to believe the abandonment, betrayal of trust or abuse we were conditioned to accept instead of love, is what we really want?
The exercises for the next six weeks are below.
Doing these exercises over the next six weeks will help us understand if we have repressed our own needs, wants and desires. They will also put us in touch with our true understanding of what we want to have being loving to ourselves.
As a great parent to ourselves we want to give ourselves everything we need and want, with love.
Please watch the video and see how easily we could have lost connection to what mattered most in our heart.
Someone asked me, “If I feel that abuse is love what is wrong with it?”
In neurologic tests on the brain, women that had been abused saw photos of men that were angry or violent and saw them smiling and happy. The same abused women saw photos of men smiling and calm… but they did not see happy men.
There are at least two things wrong with desire to see abuse as love. If we see abuse as love we no longer can see abuse. If we see abuse as love, we are now blind to real love as well.
During the next six weeks we will be restoring our own feelings.
As we become whole and connected to our emotions, we will be tearing down the barriers to loving ourselves. When we feel lovable and love ourselves, we will begin to be comfortable having someone really love us.
Exercise Set 2:
Please do the previous exercise, exercise 1 first before doing these. After you have done exercise 1 three different times, proceed to the next exercises.
Each exercise is to be done in the same manner we did the first exercise. We need a mat, plastic bat and something like a footstool to hit.
We get in position with bat in hand kneeling on the mat in front of the footstool and then follow the suggestions for each separate exercise below.
Please allow a full day of happiness after each exercise.
Please do not in any way engage a person you are upset with during this time, because of feelings brought up by the exercises.
We are awakening our own connection to self and rewriting conditioning. We want to rewrite our conditioning by “feeling comfortable experiencing our emotions and happy afterward” so we open our heart.
We can always argue with someone later, right now we are giving ourselves the ability to feel our emotions deeply, there is nothing more important we can do until that has been accomplished.
Each exercise should not last more than five minutes. Please be sure to remember to do something that feels wonderful for your body, something that is good for your well being as well, such as exercise or receiving a massage.
We are empowering ourselves to be good to ourselves and have a different feeling about our emotions, one where we can have them and enjoy our life, not be afraid of them.
I am going to leave it up to you to decide what memory you will be upset about but only think about the memory and call up the feeling for a few seconds, do not allow the feeling to overwhelm you or shut you down.
After feeling the emotion, let go of all thought and feel deep anger in your body, then take the bat and attack the footstool yelling the words of each exercise.
After you hit the footstool and yell in anger a few times, please go sit down and feel as good as you can all over your body. When you have calmed down and feel good, please go do something wonderful for yourself.
We are just rewriting the conditioning that blocked our real feelings.
If you want later you can feel sadness and cry or yell but remember to just do a little and keep in mind that it was the past. Immediately after feeling emotions do something to be good to yourself and be happy or watch some comedy.
We want to set up a new pattern of allowing ourselves to feel all of our emotions but we want to be gentle with ourselves and not bring old feelings into our life now.
The exercises should be done one step at a time and only one a day. It may seem like we are doing very little but we are doing a great deal and will experience great results.
Exercise 1)
“Want me!”
This is the emotion and what we will yell when we hit the footstool, we want to be angry that we were not wanted as much as we should have been by someone.
Exercise 2)
“Love me!”
We want to be angry and tell someone “Love me!” Ultimately these are also for us to hear ourselves but we need to allow ourselves to be comfortable being angry at someone that could have loved us more, before we will feel comfortable loving ourselves.
Exercise 3)
“Hear me!”
We want to be angry at someone for not hearing us and doing what we needed them to do.
Exercise 4)
“See me!”
We want to be appreciated and enjoyed for who we really are, we want to be angry at someone that did not do that when we were told they loved us.
Exercise 5)
“Hold me!”
We want to feel angry at someone that we hoped would enjoy holding us.
Exercise 6)
“I am special!”
We want to be angry with someone that did not do what made us happy when we were little. We wanted to be supported in finding what made us happy and hoped it would make them happy to see us happy.
Please love yourself. Please forgive anything that was not loving to yourself that you did, we did our best at the time.
Namaste. I love you. <3
Uncovering Our True Self
We are complex beings that are capable of wondrous things.
One of the most beautiful things we have the ability to experience, is feeling love.
In this chapter of Empathic healing, we are going to discuss what some of the most common barriers to feeling loved may be. We will then do an exercise that will help us remove the barriers to love.
It is important for us to understand how powerful conditioning that we are not conscious of, can be in shaping our lives. If we were once conditioned by fear to withdraw from, or suppress our emotions, that old conditioning will still create guarding inside of us now… and alert our autonomic nervous system to protect us.
If we have been conditioned to fear emotional intimacy, the old conditioning is initiating physiological responses, perceptions and ultimately making decisions for us. The distress and anxiety we feel when someone wants emotional intimacy is because of this old conditioning.
It is difficult to separate the conditioned responses associated with feeling emotionally vulnerable and what we may think is the normal way to feel about someone.
Our reactions may seem like correct emotional responses but the conditioning to feel fear when loved, will have control over our lives.
Today, we will rewrite some of the conditioning we have that creates a negative physiological response to emotional intimacy. Afterward we will be able to experience relaxation, better sleep, creativity, and a connection to our emotions and feelings without fear.
Old fears create our nightmares….and our fears influence how we feel about ourselves. These old fears can creep into the stories we have about our lives that see played out in the daytime, if we do not remove erroneous fear.
Our brain wants us to see our fear and understand it as something that was our past….our old fears are what make us feel distressed and immobilized.
Today we will do an exercise that takes a few minutes and we will feel safe from that moment on, experiencing our emotions.
We will feel our emotions and feel wonderful afterwards.
If we face our worst fear, get angry at the person that created the fear and afterwards feel great, we will rewrite the conditioning that tells us to be afraid to feel angry at that person we fear most.
At the end of feeling angry we need to also feel good, so that we “prepare to feel good” automatically when we experience emotions of anger or sadness towards the person that hurt us. After we experience feeling what we are most afraid to feel, we no longer have conditioning to “be afraid to feel emotions.” This exercise will allow us to experience much more of the depth and width of life, without fear.
After the exercise today, we can continue to allow ourselves to emotionally and physically experience emotions about our past. Please always remember to feel good before and after going back to the past to feel emotions.
As we experience all of our emotional truth, a deeper sense of well being, presence, confidence and authenticity to emerge within us. This new sense of self will give us the strength to enjoy the experience of real love, vulnerability and enhanced states of ecstasy.
The first stage of fear is when we feel paralyzed by fear because we are in our head trying to find out what the cause of the problem is and what we need to do. If we are conditioned to be afraid of deep emotions, we will feel fear when we feel emotionally vulnerable, we will also connect the feeling of fear we are conditioned to feel, to someone in the present.
If the cause of our fear is conditioning that also prevented us from feeling deep anger or sadness towards the person that hurt us, feeling that anger or sadness now and tagging the person that caused that intense fear a long time ago, will put a face on our fear.
Now that there is a face on our fear and we have felt our fear…. and felt safe afterwards, we no longer have the conditioned response to feel fear feeling these old emotions.
We may feel unsafe feeling vulnerable or in love but the feeling of wanting to trust someone, is so much better than wanting to hurt someone before they hurt us or feeling upset by someone that cares….
Putting a face on our fear also allows us to feel safe relaxing, so we stop having anxiety, sleep better and are much healthier.
We have more control of our life when we connect to both the intellectual and emotional aspects of our brain.
The exercise:
Get a mat and put it on the ground.
Get a plastic bat.
Get something like a footstool you can hit with the plastic bat.
Get on your knees on the mat and be in front of the footstool. Grab the bat with both hands.
Think of the person you were most frightened by. If that person was someone that frightened you when you were a child, then remember them. If the person that frightened you was someone after childhood, then focus on that person….you know, the one who never listened to you when you were upset.
Now feel how you were frightened by them for perhaps ten to thirty seconds and before you go numb….go into your emotions and get as angry as you possibly can! Now hit the footstool with the bat and yell, “I hate you! (or whatever)” as loud and as you can. Hit the footstool perhaps 5 or 6 times and yell during that, then take a deep breath, feel proud of yourself, happy and get up and relax and you are done.
Do not dwell on anything or go into your head but instead do something to feel good and be in your body. Go for a bike ride, get a massage, take a hot bath or dance. The important part is to just not think but feel great physically.
Do this exercise three times and try to do it within two weeks. The exercise should take less than five minutes each time, so you will have put fifteen minutes of intense work into this to remove the conditioned response.
You should feel better within a few days.
You pushed love down the stairs…
I grew up in San Francisco and when I was a kid, I would walk my wagon up a steep hill by my house and ride it down the middle of the street. I remember flying in the air when my wagon would hit bumps. There were moments I achieved weightlessness. Floating or flying, whatever it was, it was wonderful.
I remember flying far out of my wagon on some bumps. Sometimes I would leave the wagon completely and land on the road.
As children, we all got hurt playing. We got up if we fell down, wiped the dirt out of our hands and kept playing.
I got hurt learning to ride my bike too. I bet you got hurt learning to ride your bike. We get hurt many times growing up but getting hurt playing never changed how we felt about ourselves.
When the people that we trusted to love us, hurt us, it did change the way we felt about ourselves. Most people do not stop playing because they got hurt playing, they stopped playing because they were hurt emotionally.
If we became numb during the time someone hurt us, we may not remember why we stopped playing. Come with me and I will show you how we can find a connection to the playful part of us, once again.
When we are infants, we are unable to take care of ourselves and need our parents to take care of us. We focus on our parent’s emotions and happiness more than our own, because we need them for our care.
Betrayal, trauma or neglect hurt us emotionally, we get upset…and when we experience our emotions of sadness or upset, if our emotions make the person that is hurting our feelings more upset and they hurt us more…it is natural for us to stop having emotions, in order to be less abused… Denying our emotions is how we quickly lose our connection to “self” and soon, we stop playing fearlessly.
Connected to our own feelings about ourselves is where we are strongest.
The feelings of someone we bond with become a part of how we feel about ourselves. It is sad, but becoming numb actually makes the feelings of insecurity we have, hard to experience and understand as not our own feelings but the feelings someone else had that was in my opinion a jerk.
These are feelings someone conditioned us to have about ourselves. We were conditioned to become numb when they got emotionally upset about being hurt by someone. When we were numb, it was easy to condition us to accept their feelings about us, instead of our own.
Each time they lied to us and promised us love and took love instead, we had a dissonance occur in our brain that was created by our caring more about them than they did for us. This dissonance in our brain made us infatuated with the pursuit of their attention and love. This pursuit, of the admiration and attention of someone that does not love us, is the foundation for narcissism. The feelings of insecurity we have from someone that hurt us, is more about them and less about us. Each minute we get back up and fight to get our life and emotions back, the insecurities we have, just like realizing a nightmare was just a bad dream…disappear forever.
We were happy playful kids. We took on the feelings of the person that hurt us and bonded with them because we did not have our own feelings and emotions.
Understanding our insecurities are not about us is important. Our insecurities are like weeds that someone else planted and have nothing to do with us.
The insecurity weeds grow larger each time we listen to someone that tells us to abandon our emotions. Our emotions are the beautiful flowers that grow in our garden, when we care about them.
Re- connecting to our true self is like finding our garden, we have to hear and experience all of our emotions. We were not comfortable having the emotions that created our aliveness but we need to reconnect to them now. When we have compassion for our heart, we open the well that waters the garden and we bloom again.
When we love someone that loves us, we see who we are. We stop being worried about what others think and we enjoy what we are doing.
Narcissists are everywhere now, it is important for our ability to re-connect with our self, that we avoid them.
Humans are not able to be introspective without emotions. As a narcissist, a person is not able to realize they do not have much empathy for others they want in their lives.
Narcissists can speak of love and tell you they love you. Narcissists have dramatic swings of feelings about themselves because “feeling admired” is far from connecting to the real child/person within.
If we bond with a narcissist and we become numb, we risk losing the ability to connect to our emotions and become our authentic selves.
(Here is where we push love down the stairs…)
I was emotionally hurt a long time ago and because of that I began studying A Course in Miracles and Neuro Linguistic Programming. After doing N.L.P. for a while, I became a narcissist. It was great not to feel sad but I did not notice I was not feeling many emotions at all.
I did a lot of work to feel my emotions again and I am proud to say I understand how much better life is feeling all my emotions. I am no longer a narcissist and would be glad to help anyone that wants help re-connecting to their authentic self.
Yesterday on a new age radio network, I was listening to a very popular author. She was taking calls from listeners and helping them with the problems they had.
The woman that called in wanted to know, “Why do I keep chasing after people that hurt me?”
The author told the person, “You need to stop caring so much about people in your life and become selfish. You deserve to be happy.”
We do not need to become selfish, or narcissists to be happy.
When we are whole and connected to our emotions, we are able to be happy and love others.
I am sad to hear so many people telling others to do something that would only bring symptomatic relief and then bring the caller back needing more.
To remove the cause of a problem, I would ask more questions of the caller. If I understood more, I could empower the caller to remove the cause of their problems themselves.
There are maps that allow people to return to the connection they once had with themselves. Each map is unique because our path is our life. It is wonderful to show someone how he or she can create a wonderful re-bonding experience himself or herself.
It is only through love that we can heal our broken heart.
In loving our children, we see our own beauty. The person that runs into our arms with love is the mirror we want to have.
The love we have for the person that loves us, will allow us to see how much we are like the person we love and we will bond to the feeling they have about us.
When we have bonding experiences with souls that reflect how lovable and wanted we are, we will once again play with abandon.
Narcissist The Exercise for Healing
Video “Part One”will help us understand how a narcissist persona began and how it changes us.
Video “Part Two” is the exercise for healing ourselves. When we open our heart, have a way to automatically love ourselves the way others do and become real as a result…we can see our beauty with a new clarity and the beauty of others as well.
I love you.
Photo @ by Zack Milstein
Video Part One
Video Part Two
You are a narcissist
Let us discuss some of the ways we became a narcissist. We can then discuss how being a narcissist alters us. In the next blog, I will tell you how we can become real again.
We wanted something and acted differently so we could get it, the act continued and developed into a persona. The narcissist persona is software that remains separate from “who we are” because it does not connect to our emotions.
If our narcissist persona gets enough of what it wants, we become grandiose. Grandiosity is an addictive high.
I remember a long time ago when I was first starting junior high school, the people that were bullies suddenly had a following. When the bully made fun of someone, everyone laughed. The kids that were picked on and laughed at the most… seemed to be staying around the bully more than I would want to be. If someone was around a bully for a while, it appeared his or her values changed.
I have seen a person laugh at a strangers comment. The sound of forced enthusiasm and laughter that came after an insult… did not make the moment funny, it was sad.
I asked someone why she thought the man was laughing so hard. She told me it was a reaction to fear. I then asked her if she did that. “If I stop and think about it, yes I do that all the time.”
I think I first noticed I was becoming a narcissist early in grammar school. I realized the easiest way to get good grades was to figure out what the teacher wanted and do that.
I enjoyed caring about what I did but… if I did not focus on pleasing the teacher, I would not get the same admiration or the same grades.
I could feel the difference between doing things I cared about and doing things to receive admiration. I was slowly developing a persona that was phony but enjoyed the results very much.
How early do we first learn narcissism? I often watch parents that are more interested in receiving admiration from strangers than paying attention to their children.
If our parent was not able to enjoy the pleasure of watching us explore, play and eventually find what we loved, we may have paid more attention to our parent’s feelings then they paid to ours. If we emulated our parent to get attention, it may have been the beginning of our development of a narcissistic persona.
How does being a narcissist change us? Adding a new persona is like adding a new home that is in a different location as the one we currently have. The two homes are separate and not connected. Each time we change “where we are coming from” our perceptions, values and thoughts change, because these c0me with us wherever we go.
When we change who we are and live in our narcissist persona, the values and thoughts we have are different but we may not be aware they are. We are not self aware when we are a narcissist because we are not connected to our own feelings and emotions.
A client told me, “When I was a narcissist I understood a man that wanted me for sex but a man that wanted to love me made me uncomfortable. I was not aware that I was not feeling emotions in social situations. I was aware that I wanted to be loved and that the men I picked were not able to love me but what was happening did not make sense.”
The narcissist wants to feel they are superior and the more they compare themselves to others the more of a feeling of insecurity they develop. In addition, each moment we are not ourselves we give our inner child a feeling they are not good enough. Because we are not in touch with our feelings as much when we are a narcissist, it is difficult to see that our narcissism is the cause of our insecurity.
In the movie The Lord of the Rings, we can see the change in someone when they have the ring. With the ring, a person would feel wonderful or powerful and this is a similar addiction to grandiosity.
Just as a person wearing the ring could become confused, a narcissist is confused about their life because they do not realize that the intention they create when they are a narcissist is different from the intention they have when they feel emotions and want much more.
The truth is both the ring and narcissism take possession of someone over time. Narcissism is like a toupee that we become used to wearing, we are reluctant to get rid of it because we believe we are better with it.
The part of us that feels emotions has different values, perceptions and thoughts than our narcissist. Our narcissist makes decisions for us all the time and we wind up living with them. The narcissist part of us does not have the emotional ability to learn from past mistakes.
I hope you use this understanding to your advantage. We may find ourselves with people the narcissist likes because they admire the narcissist. Only the part of us that is real and feels emotions can tell a person that loves us from one that has another feeling about us.
In the next section, I will give exact steps to heal and overcome narcissism.
Emotions Add Color to the World
After asking people for many years when they first started using self-help, I realized that most people started using self help after being hurt emotionally.
From my own experience, the first time I used self help was to numb my emotions.
When I was doing self help a long time ago I saw that many used self help to have a cool image as well.
There are so many people concerned with image that I declare “Style to have officially won over substance.” Someone cool seems preferable to a warm heart.
The emotional work I have done the last 20 years, is very different from other types of self help. My work is about allowing people to open their heart and experience all of their emotions so they can be themselves and grow.
Is love something we hold as sacred? Is love an idea or a feeling in our heart? Is just loving anyone special for us or is loving someone that loves us in return, that is sacred to us? Do we experience the joy of love for someone even when we are not with them and does this shape our being?
When we open our heart to another, we feel how they genuinely feel about us. If the person we love becomes numb, we no longer have our playmate to have fun with. It is easy to close our heart and hard to open it again.
If we hold love sacred, we must be able to experience the emotion of real love.
If we are not helping people open their hearts, how are we helping the world?
Self help is commonly used to mask emotional pain. This way of dealing with emotions only brings symptomatic relief.
Self help should make us more capable of experiencing all of our feelings, perceptions, reactions and emotions so we can find what the cause of our problems is. We need to learn to love ourselves. Love is an emotion.
We can not stop just a few emotions, we stop all emotions including the experience of love when we try to stop feeling any emotions.
I find people are less interested in removing the real cause of their problems, when they have symptomatic relief. Some of the same techniques that are used to make people stop feeling emotions that are used in mind control, are commonly used in self help. These only assist people in disconnecting from their lives.
To be our authentic selves and use our entire brain, we need to feel emotions. Emotions are essential to being who we are. We understand others through their emotions, as they understand us through our emotions or numbness as well.
Most of us experience more of what is important for our growth while we are feeling love than at any other time. Love gives us the incentive to grow.
People that have stopped feeling because they have been hurt, experience the addition of depth and color when they are able to feel emotions again.
Step 3- Emotions Add Color to the World, is about us allowing ourselves to have all of our emotions and be comfortable and not afraid of them.
We do not go back to the past to dredge up emotions. We try to become comfortable feeling any emotions we have not allowed ourselves to feel.
The more we allow ourselves to feel comfortable and safe with the emotions we have, the less fear we have of feeling emotions. People that feel their sadness or hurt in a gentle and compassionate way are able to feel love again because they are not too afraid of pain to open their heart.
In group 3 we do not discuss personal information. We do allow people to have the emotions or feelings that seem to them to be too much for them to experience alone. We give support and love to those brave enough to experience the fear and emotion that has stopped them from having the love we all want to enjoy.
Step Two Seeing the Beauty of Our Soul
How do we grow as a person so that we can experience our beauty reflected in the world we see? One of the important steps in the process is to develop an appreciation for the beauty of our soul.
When we are able to experience the beauty our soul has, we are able to open our heart much more. As we open our heart we turn up the volume on all of our senses and experience much more.
“How” we see ourselves is important for our growth. In particle physics, you may have learned that “how” we observe an object changes it. If we are only able to see light in the form of a particle, light will become a particle. When we are only able to see light in the form of a wave, light will become a wave.
How we observe something in particle physics changes it. “How” we observe ourselves changes us as well.
If we put on a new outfit, we feel wonderful. When we feel wonderful, we experience ourselves in a way that allows us to be more ourselves. Who we are when we are more ourselves, allows us to create experiences we would not have, if we were not feeling whole.
What creates the way we “see” ourselves? Our brain works as a unit for many tasks but not all tasks. Some areas of our brain have specific duties. One area of our brain adjusts our pupil size and another area has the ability to analyze information the information our eye receives about the spectrum of light. This area of our brain adds the value of color to an object.
Another area of our brain adds the emotional value others have for us. “How” we see ourselves, is an emotional value we place on ourselves. “How” we see ourselves may be different in each relationship we have. How we see ourselves also changes the outcome of each relationship we have.
Our brain is primarily a social tool for us to interact with others. The part of our brain that ascribes the value or meaning of the facial expressions of others, does this for us instantly. In the same instant, the same area of our brain will change how we feel in relationship to someone’s facial expressions. We also understand what we may expect as an outcome of this relationship in the same way.
We learned “how” to feel about ourselves from our early experiences. The part of our brain that “sees” us, does not understand language.
Step number 2 is about seeing the beauty of our soul. We will be doing exercises that allow us to rewrite the conditioned way we see ourselves in various relationships. The exercises give us an experience that allows us to see the beauty of our soul reflected in the eyes of everyone we have a relationship with.
We learn to dance, float or ride a bike and have a new experience of ourselves that allows us to see ourselves differently. “How” we now see ourselves has been enhanced because of a new experience of ourselves. The way we get updates in our brain so we can see ourselves in a new way is not from words or ideas but from a new experience of our self.
How does seeing our self in an enhanced way improve our life in an objective way? When we are interviewed for a job, our job is to move a person’s feelings about us towards our goal of offering us the job. If how we see ourselves is as a wonderful person, the person interviewing us will instantly understand how we feel. If we do not feel comfortable, the person interviewing us will understand this too, without us saying a word.
If we ran out onto a stage because we were late and the audience lights were on so we could see the audience, we would look into the eyes of the audience and see them as judgmental. How we felt about ourselves (anxious) would be added to the value or meaning of what we felt was behind the eyes looking at us.
If we feel wonderful, relaxed and lovable before we went onstage, we would see the audience love us. Conditioning is the “preparation” added before we do something. The feeling we have inside us about ourselves is what we see in the eyes of others.
If we have a good objective experience of ourselves a few times, each experience will validate a new and enhanced automatic way of seeing ourselves. Just as when we learn to dance, we can have an experience of ourselves in any social situation or relationship that will allow us to be more comfortable and whole.
Seeing love in someone’s eyes now becomes what we prepare for automatically each time we see them or when we go onstage. We now have a new conditioned response and a new outcome because of it.
If we saw ourselves as unlovable or someone that had to accept mistreatment, we might have lived out a story similar to a tragedy. When we appreciate who we are and respect the beauty of our soul, we give ourselves the ability to rewrite our story and create the life we want.
Seeing the beauty of our soul is what this lesson and group is about. The 2nd group gives us the support of having a new experience of ourselves in any relationship we want to improve. The experience allows us to see the beauty of our soul in others eyes.
As we learn to appreciate the beauty of our soul, we develop the ability to also see beauty in the souls of others. When we see the beauty of a person’s soul it is wonderful to see how much they enjoy showing us all of the beauty they have. As we open our heart and connect to others in this way, we create an enhanced experience.
The Seven Step Program
The 7 step program:
1) It’s my life
2) My soul is beautiful
3) Emotions add color to the world
4) Teaching my brain to reward me
5) Creating feelings in others
6) Opening my heart to create what I want
7) Relationships
Each step and peer support group will enhance our experience of life.
Step 1 – “It’s my life”
A person entering the group accepts that they are now “their own parent” and have the responsibility of giving themselves the love and happiness, they always wanted to have.
We take responsibility for hearing and seeing who we are. This means that we honor our feelings.When we cry inside, we hear it and do something about it. When we are our own parent and hear our inner child, we feel heard. When we listen we become more alive.
When we laugh and are happy, we reward ourselves by being proud we were good to our inner child. In this way we feel seen for who we are. We become more confident and whole each time we reward what makes us happy.
By being there all the time for our inner child, we re-pattern our early bonding experience. Because of this we have an enhanced experience of ourselves in the world.
As we feel ourselves as a caring and loving parent that is always there, we develop object permanence. Object permanence is the grounded feeling people want. We feel safe, at home and wanted no matter where we are.
The group allows members to talk about the new relationship they have with themselves and how they are parenting their inner child. We support each other as loving and compassionate parents that are learning more all the time.
This first step in opening our heart, is wonderful when we have support for the work we do.
Faith in Yourself
My work is about bringing clarity to our brain, perceptions and life. I want to empower people to have the choice to be well or create the things they want most. I want people to be able to create those with their own power.
Most people do not understand how much power we have to create health or the things we want to enjoy. At least 40% of the healing we get from most medications is from the placebo effect.
I think it is important as a first step for us to understand how we create things in our life. This video shows what part of our brain is making decisions for us and creating the theme to our life.
Many people are not aware of how much our brain creates automatically for us. One of these things is our health. Our body normally heals itself.
Our brain is not our mind and it operates differently than people have been told our mind works. Our brain is who we are and we change our brain each time we have a new way of experiencing ourselves. Our brain is made to be easily updated with new and improved information about ourselves, so that we can function better in the world. We see this when we learn how to float or ride a bike, our brain is updated and how we experience ourselves or the world is enhanced.
“Who we are” is important because how we feel about ourselves and the world is intimately connected to what our brain creates as far as our well being, relationships, happiness, health and creativity. We can become more and more of the author of our story as we become more aware of how much health or happiness we normally should have when we are not stressed.
If we want to be well or create great things, I believe it is important to understand how much the emotional part of our brain, the non-verbal part of us….is involved in creating what happens in our life. When we have a good feeling about ourselves we have the best opportunity to create the things we want.
We do not need to give our power away. We can heal ourselves.
The power of our brain to create is evident in placebo and nocebo. Placebo means what we create for our good. Nocebo means what we create that hurts us. The part of our brain that creates with placebo or nocebo, is not the part of our brain that uses language, it is the non-verbal part of our brain.
This non-verbal part of our brain controls our reactions, emotions, perceptions and health. This part of our brain is “who” we are and makes more decisions than most people realize.
Modern neuro-science has produced data that shows the brain initiating motor movements without necessarily engaging the “executive module” that is responsible for our sense of self-awareness and volition.
This “influence of suggestion in modifying and directing muscular movement, independently of volition” was given the label idel-motor action by the psychologist/physiologist William B. Carpenter in 1852.
What this means to me is, that in order to test something impartially we would have to use something that could find results in a double blind study (which means how we feel does not influence the results.)
If I believe something to be true, my findings will support my sense if I use a test that is not scientific.
When people have been tested doing muscle testing, using double blind studies giving their patients artificial sweetener (with an unlabeled bottle and a drop on the tongue) or fructose (with an unlabeled bottle and a drop on the tongue), the tests to see if they could muscle test to find which unmarked bottle had which substance have been shown to have no scientific value.
Only when someone knows what they are looking for does the test in muscle testing support their findings.
Using an inaccurate test to support a belief we may have about what someone’s problem is caused by, may create a problem for a person they did not have.
Nocebo effects are powerful, just the same percentage of change happens to us when we hear of the negative effects of something as when we hear the possible positive effects. As in placebo, 40% or more of the time people told of the possible side effects and not told of what healing may come, develop an illness when given sugar pills. Our brain is very powerful.
I want to empower people to create their own health by removing the cause of their problems.
I have been told by many people that this will not work, people are not ready to stop being submissive.
Yesterday someone told me that healers healed people with their energy. I replied by telling them, “I had that belief once. I used to just touch people to heal them and I did wonderful things. Now I help people find what the cause to their problems are and what they could do to remove the cause themselves. When I touched people to heal them it did bring symptomatic relief and sometimes that lasted a while. Giving people the ability to have the option of growing and as a result of their growth, removing the cause of what created problems…also gave them an understanding of how to create good things.”
To empower someone gives them more and more because they have the clarity of brain, perceptions and life to become the author of their own story.
“Awakening to the Beauty of You” at New Awakenings Bookshop
As you know my work is about re-writing conditioning. There are times we can become conditioned to feel anxious in our lives. I find doing the exercises in these workshops is the quickest and easiest way to re-write the conditioning we have.
There is a difference between feeling good, which is symptomatic relief of feeling bad and feeling good automatically all the time. If we remove the cause of what made us not feel good, we feel good automatically all the time.
Many people are not aware they have conditioning because they just experience a reaction they believe to be appropriate.
To have conditioning that makes us less ourselves, not see our beauty, feel uncomfortable, experience shame and not have the life we possible could have is sad.
One of the steps towards enlightenment, is having the ability to see our own light. The curtains and drapes that prevented us from experiencing our true selves and seeing the reflection of our beauty in the world, are now easily torn asunder.
We are going to do an exercise to be ourselves again. First let us look at what conditioning is so we appreciate how it would happen to us and how we can re-write it.
A rat is conditioned by seeing a light and then receiving a shock, a light then a shock, a light and then a shock. After the shocks stop the rat prepares for the anxiety that will come after it sees the light and that is re-recorded as the light and the shock was over and over, each time it sees a light. The light then anxiety, the light then anxiety and now after the shocks are long gone, the rat is still apprehensive. We now have a timid rat.
Conditioning is “the automatic preparation that happens to us before something.” The anxiety was a preparation for a shock, now anxiety is the preparation for anxiety….which can happen to us.
When there is loss of a loved one: there is love, anxiety and sadness, love, anxiety and sadness and we become conditioned to feeling anxious as a preparation to losing someone. The interesting thing is the trigger for the “preparation of anxiety” is not loss but love. Love then anxiety, love then anxiety….this is the conditioned response.
The conditioning makes us feel anxious feeling love or being loved.
Love may seem like it is about someone else but it allows us to be more of who we are. The chemistry we have when we feel love, allows our brain to work with much more clarity and we are much more powerful. For us to have love (which is a different intention than finding love) we have to be comfortable.
Conditioning is a preparation. We are going to re-write the preparation we have that makes us feel anxious when we anticipate wonderful emotions. To do this, we want to anticipate receiving love and pleasure as the first step.
As we anticipate pleasure from a massage that is going to happen or anything else that would make us feel wonderful and happy, we want to breath deeply and surrender. We want to practice this, relaxing before receiving pleasure and then stay relaxed and surrender as we receive pleasure.
The next step is to feel emotions are pleasure and to add the same relaxation technique of breathing deeply and surrendering to the emotions we feel that are pleasant.
As we continue doing the exercise, we feel pleasant emotions and then great in our body, we feel pleasant emotions and then great in our body. We re-write the conditioning and now when we prepare for emotions, instead of feeling anxiety and shutting down, we prepare to feel wonderful in our body.
We can also become conditioned in a way that does not allow us to see our beauty. To awaken to our beauty we have to remove the conditioning that made us feel shame, inhibition or insecurity.
Just as losing someone can condition us to have anxiety about feeling love. We can become conditioned to have anxiety about feeling beautiful.
If we wanted to be seen as beautiful and became anxious, we wanted to be seen as beautiful and became anxious, we wanted to be seen as beautiful and became anxious, we may have become conditioned to feeling anxiety about feeling beautiful.
We now look at a group of people looking at us and become anxious. If someone wants us to touch and kiss us all over we become anxious. Any time we are self conscious we become anxious.
We will have someone care about us, “when we stop feeling anxious and can enjoy being seen, touched and loved.”
Our beauty comes from our soul. To experience the beauty of our soul is one of the greatest awakenings we can have.
In this workshop you will do a simple exercise that will “rewrite” the conditioning that has made you feel ashamed, prevented you from seeing your beauty, feeling self love, feeling like a goddess, enjoying someone adoring you and a myriad of other inhibitions.
Feeling beautiful is about much more than our appearance. During the workshop we will see how others look at us in an awakened and enlightened way….we will see how beautiful and lovable we are in their eyes. We will see how beautiful we are.
This way of seeing is just removing the conditioning that prevented us from seeing clearly. We will experience our beauty at the workshop and after. We will always see how beautiful and lovable we are automatically after that.
The new experience we have of ourselves will allow us to see the real beauty in others as well. This workshop gives us a permanent “enhancement in clarity”. Now we experience ourselves in a way that will allow us to see our beauty reflected in the world.
This is a video of the end of another workshop. Each one is as unique as we are.
Please come to the workshop at New Awakenings
Saturday, July 28 2012, 3:00pm – 5:00pm
For more information you can also call me at 360-953-7408.
Confident IV the first exercise
In a previous blog titled “Who Am I” I said, “The good news is we can change anything we want and become who we want, without having to go into the past. Because our brain is designed to grow and be whole, what we do in the present is the best vehicle for developing and enhancing our brain.”
Today we are going to learn a beginning exercise that will help us to be the confident, present and compassionate person we hope to be. This exercise will also give us the ability to start changing our reality.
The first thing a person needs to be able to open their heart, is a feeling of safety within themselves.
This feeling of safety will give someone a feeling of well being and presence as well. This feeling will also allow someone to feel pleasure opening their heart without being stressed.
What gives an infant the feeling of confidence are a few things, 1) object permanence (parents that are always there when needed), 2) touch (feeling wanted), 3) having someone hear us when we cry, responding to our feelings (feeling heard) and 4) having someone smile when we smile (feeling seen).
To have those feelings….of feeling taken care of, of being wanted, of feeling heard and being seen for who we are, we want to do the following exercise:
If we are not living with our parents and they are not taking care of us, we are our own parents and we have control of what happens to us.
1) The first part of the exercise is for us to accept and understand that we are now our own parents. We make the decisions about what we have in our life.
The most important part of the first step is for us to willingly take responsibility for the most important things for our life, in a loving caring way.
Object permanence comes from someone being responsible for taking care of us…our needs and wants. As we take the responsibility for giving ourselves the things that matter most and make sure all of our dreams are heard more seriously, we give ourselves more object permanence (this makes us feel deep safety and well being).
2) The second part of the exercise is to treat ourselves as a sweet child that has real needs that are physical, emotional and creative. We want to listen to and hear all the needs we have. We must not ignore any of our feelings. We also want to see ourselves as capable and lovable. Feeling heard and seen in this way also gives us a feeling of object permanence and well being.
3) The third part of the exercise pulls the first and second parts together into action. For our health and well being, we are going to get massaged several times in the next couple weeks.
We give the child within the touch we need for survival. The “non-verbal” understanding of touch is important. Our limbic system (the place in our brain that is the lens we use to see ourselves as safe) understands this non-verbal language. We can use this new experience to rewrite unresolved feelings we may have. How it feels in our body to be wanted and loved is powerful.
If we take responsibility for “getting a massage”, we are in essence giving the child within the caring loving touch so many people do not receive from other things. The more wonderful loving feelings we take responsibility for giving ourselves, the better we will feel.
As we take responsibility for the care of our needs, the need to be touched, heard, seen, wanted and loved, we develop a sense of safety, trust, presence and well being that allows us to feel a deep safety and confidence that nothing else can give us.
As we feel more safety and well being, we soon feel joy opening our heart.
There are many more things we can do to grow and have a wonderful life.
If you have any questions please feel free to write me Bob@ichangereality.com or call me at 360-953-7408
Confident part II
Most of us never think of ourselves as timid or confident. What is the difference between someone timid and someone confident?
In my opinion the difference between someone timid and someone confident is this: A timid person is uncomfortable and wants to stop feeling that way. A confident person has the ability to connect to what is going on inside of themselves and feel comfortable being vulnerable.
A timid person does not feel comfortable being more vulnerable. A confident person relishes the naked joy of their emotional vulnerability and is capable of being proud of themselves for growing.
A timid person is not comfortable experiencing their own feelings and emotions. A confident person experiences all of their feelings and emotions and is able to be vulnerable, open and grow from the lessons they learn.
People can see what is happening outside of themselves and want that to change. People discuss intent with me and ask me how to change intent so they may have happiness. When discussing intent, I tell people that we create things because we are comfortable having something, not because we want something we have not had.
I tell people that have relationships that leave them feeling empty to become comfortable experiencing their own feelings as a first step. After we experience our feelings it is possible for us to give ourselves the feelings we want to get from others. When we love ourselves, the universe will send us help.
A timid person wants to stop feeling uncomfortable. They enjoy making someone feel good, they want to be wanted and needed.
A narcissist is also a timid person. This timid person has traded the need to be loved in for a need to be admired. A narcissist has given up on being themselves, they have the idea that they can be more successful being what others want.
When we think being someone different will make us what people want, being comfortable with who we are…which is the “road to confidence”… just gets further away.
A sociopath is someone that is also a timid person. A sociopath enjoys having control of others and believes power is what is respected and wanted. Sociopaths enjoy using other timid people to feel more powerful.
All timid people are, “looking into someone’s eyes to feel good about themselves.”
With some practice experiencing all of our own feelings, we can understand what situations give us reactions that make us feel uncomfortable. When we are feeling uncomfortable we are not likely to enjoy feeling vulnerable.
I can easily rewrite a preparation to a situation that creates a reaction that makes someone feel uncomfortable. After we rewrite the preparation to the situation that made someone uncomfortable, we have rewritten the conditioning associated with the experience.
When we have rewritten the conditioning, a person can feel vulnerable and comfortable or wonderful. This ability gives someone a new experience of themselves and allows someone to have a much greater option of wonderful experiences. It is the same as if we learn to float…we now experience the water, ourselves and being vulnerable in a comfortable and wonderful new way. It is important to feel comfortable and wonderful being vulnerable in as many social situations as possible because our brain was created to be social.
When we grow in this way, we make it possible to rewrite the story that is the theme of our life. We can become confident at our core and have fun growing, being and creating.
I am going to give some exercises in part 4 that are easy and lasting that will help us to become happy, confident and capable of creating what will be wonderful.
Email me or call me if I can help you personally with anything. Bob@ichangereality.com or 360-953-7408.
Confident
In this and other future blogs, we will be discussing many things Cerebrology® is successful in treating.
One basic premise we use in Cerebrology® is, if we can cause our own problems….we can also grow and not be the cause of our problems.
If we can create illness, lack of love or unhappiness, we can also create health, love and happiness by understanding how we are creating our problem and removing the cause, not by just treating the symptoms.
There are many physical, personal and emotional problems we can successfully treat and fix with Cerebrology®. Everyone that learns Cerebrology®, will have an understanding of how to diagnose and treat any problem that we create ourselves.
In this blog we will discuss the concept that, no matter when in the past we learned something that creates problems, we can understand how to quickly and easily find a way to remove the cause now. We do not need to look back to go forward.
I am going to use an example that is a part of the core of our being, to show when and how we can acquire a problem. In the next blog, I am going to use the example to show that we still have to treat the problem as it presents itself now.
One of the causes of many problems are the reactions people have. When discussing reactions there are two important factors: what we react to and how we react. How we react to things is a large part of “who” we are at our core.
Today, we are going to discuss two different core “types” that are based on the way someone reacts. The reason we are going to discuss these two core types is because they can have a component that was learned even before we were born.
Two of the many ways of reacting to things are “timid” (which we may understand as passive-aggressive) and “confident” (which is assertive).
At any time during our life, we can be forced to have deference (submission to someone, when the wellbeing and happiness of another becomes more important than our own) to someone who has taken our volition (free will, ability to make decisions for our needs). In this situation we begin to care for the feelings of the person who took our volition and put their needs and desires before our own.
In many cases neglect is used to create deference. Neglect as a form of abuse is often invisible to us.
If we are “helpless” and in need the goodwill of the person we are submitting to, we add another bonding experience. This experience is similar to an infant’s caring more about the mother’s well being more than its own. The mother is able to give the infant what it needs and the infant’s job is to have the mother love it.
We may respect, admire, feel we need and be attracted to the person who we want to have care for us. Unfortunately people that experience this new bonding, may have desires that are “upside down”. People who have not had someone love them and have only wanted to love someone else may want more.
The trauma of an experience that pushes someone to bond from fear, can add a “timid” component to their being. The “timid” person is comfortable being passive and caring for someone they have deference for. The timid person will also become hyper-vigilant in comfortable and emotionally intimate situations, feeling annoyed, irritable or even smothered by love. A timid person can be prone to getting stuck in the first stage of fear, frozen in place and obsessing on ideas. A confident person will go to the first stage of fear and look to find what is wrong outside of themselves. The confident person then goes to the second stage where the fight or flight system comes in and they take action to change the situation or they calm down enough to be self examining and relax. The second stage allows us to “experience” the feeling of being in our body and not just in our head.
In mice that have a timid mother the offspring are timid as well. In mice that have a confident mother the offspring are confident as well.
In experiments when a timid mother’s fetus is placed in a confident mother and the baby is raised by the confident mother, the mouse will be confident.
If a confident mother’s fetus is placed in a timid mother and the baby mouse is raised by the timid mother, the mouse will become timid.
If our mother was timid or confident, we understood how she felt about herself in various situations and we felt the same about ourselves. This non-verbal way of learning and mirroring is automatic.
We see how deeply a part of our core a timid or confident reaction is for us. Understanding all of the history of how we acquired our reactions, does not rewrite or change the reactions.
Treating the problem of being timid (the symptoms) with verbal motivational messages is not going to help us change the reactions that alter our self perception and reality either. The information we use to give us our self-image was learned from non-verbal cues, that came in through our visual motor pathways.
The limbic system of our brain, is much like the operating system of a computer and it does not use the same language we use in verbal thoughts. The limbic system stores our memories as emotions and feelings about our self in various experiences. The visual experience we now have is sent to the limbic system to gauge its value or meaning for us. How we automatically prepare will add the textural feelings and enhancements of perceptions and emotions, that create our experience. The preparations we have determine our reactions and whether we are “timid” or “confident,” how we experience things will be different. How we perceive ourselves emotionally will change the options of experiences we have. These options can make all the difference in the world.
To have clarity and become confident…not have hyper-vigilant reactions or desires to be in inappropriate situations, we will need to rewrite our “timid” conditioning so we can be confident and create more of what we want.
In the next blog, we will discuss how to identify and rewrite this non-verbal information… that creates a “timid” persona… quickly, easily and permanently using Cerebrology®.
I would like you to know this is not something that is just an idea but rather something I understand from doing over 15 years of regressive psychotherapy as well as 10 years of primal therapy very far back into womb feelings. I experienced my mothers feelings while I was in the womb as well as during infancy and I have done my own work. I am offering something that has been a labor of love and I have been doing Cerebrology® work on myself and others for over 20 years.
If you have any questions please send an email to Bob@ichangereality.com or call me at 360-953-7408. We can make the world a much better place, all we have to do is open our heart.
May you be washed by love as you go from strength to strength. <3
Who Am I
When someone asks us, who we are what do we say? Do we tell them the ideas we have about our image?
Are the ideas we have who we are? We can change ideas in a moment but to develop empathy, character or compassion may take years, why?
An idea is a thought and thoughts are changed by us all the time, in a moment. Empathy, character and compassion speak of how we have developed ourselves, they come from an ongoing experience of an emotional understanding that over time has changed our brain.
As we use our brain we develop neural pathways. What we do to stimulate our brain, changes the map of our brain. As we direct traffic to specific areas of our brain, we enhance the complexity of our brain in those areas. A person that uses his hands to touch and heal people, will have a much thicker and more complex area of their brain associated with touch, similar to someone that is blind and uses braille.
From using our brain to practice a sport, we can in time just watch the sport and our muscles will grow. If we spend time stimulating ourselves with visual sexual images, we may look at people and instead of seeing who they are, we may look to find something that will give us a stimulating chemical experience in our brain. As we focus on an obsession, we heat up our cingulate gyrus and unless we do something to stop hyper focusing and cool it off, such as doing something physical when we obsess… the obsession will become larger and larger. When we practice associating our senses with our emotions, we develop pathways that promote creative skills, “What light through yonder window breaks, it is the east and Juliet is the sun.”, is a combination of sensory, emotional and thinking skill use.
From not directing much traffic to an area, the complexity of our brain in that area diminishes. If we suppress our emotions, we may not be able to understand how others are feeling. As the map of our brain is changed, who we are is changed.
The good new is we can change anything we want and become who we want, without having to go into the past….. because our brain is designed to grow and be whole, what we do in the present….is the best vehicle for developing and enhancing our brain so we can enjoy the full use of it, in a balanced way.
I have a theory I call my “cow field theory”of growth. The path cows use in a field has no grass growing upon it. If we take the cows out of the field for long enough, the grass will grow back on the path the cows created. If we put a heard of cows into that field, in time they will eventually knock down the grass from the old path and it will be their new path. The new path is now what brings the cows home.
As we developed interests, enjoyed our passions and grew from experiences, we developed paths in our brain like the cows in a field do. Old paths can be revisited and new paths can be developed.
Many of the paths we developed, were a result of some foundational understandings we had about ourselves. These “understandings” could have been helpful in our pursuit of developing a life that was wonderful. Some “understandings” people have about themselves, prevent them from having much of a life. If a person has a self image that prevents them from feeling confident and relaxed, insecurities that inhibit them from doing the things that have meaning to them, fears of being hurt that prevent them from experiencing love or feelings of shame that do not allow them to experience the intimacy and joy of being vulnerable, all of these can now easily be permanently rewritten so that new paths can be created.
If there is some insecurity, fear, inhibition, reaction, jealousy or anxiety that is limiting your life, please call me at 360-953-7408 or message me, Robert Milstein on Facebook. I want to help you see what is possible when the curtains have been opened and you see by your light.
Consciousness and Love
To simplify things for discussion, let us say there are four levels of consciousness that humans possess.
The first level is “I do this and this happens.” It gives a person an understanding of how to get things. Many people grow up in homes where people are masters at playing with their own feelings or the feelings of others to get what they want. People in this situation often hide their own feelings. They may become masters at reading or manipulating the feelings of others but they lack the ability to put themselves in the place of others, so they do not have the abilities to read others using empathy.
People that have excessive canalization ( in psychology, formation in the central nervous system of new pathways by repeated passage of nerve impulses.), of their brain towards thinking the world is just about cause and effect relationships may become unscrupulous.
The second level of consciousness is when we realize there are long-term effects of our actions. People become self-examining in this phase of consciousness. When we realize that getting what we wanted now, has made it hard to get what we wanted most of all, we are able to see more than just, “I do this and I get that.”
The third level of consciousness is where we develop empathy. Empathy requires a great deal of us caring about someone that cares about us, to be able to perceive subtle non-verbally expressed feelings. When we love another and put ourselves in the other’s place, we develop the feeling part of our brain. The more we care about another person’s feelings the more we develop this non-verbal part of our brain, through empathy.
When we have developed this non-verbal part of our brain and have the third level of consciousness, we are able to enter our own feelings to discover the inner world of not only one other person but of all others. The more we care, the more we develop this extra sense.
In the fourth level of consciousness we understand that how we experience ourselves, will alter our experience. We understand that when we develop an appreciation for “who we are” we are able to relax, welcome love, welcome attention and be much more connected to another person.
When we experience this level of connection, we are able to feel how our subtle feelings automatically influence others that are not even aware we are changing reality.
When we have this level of consciousness, we are able to feel our own blocks to healing, having love or creating beauty and release them. We are also able to enter our own feelings to discover the inner world of another person to help them understand what their own blocks to healing, creating love or creating beauty in their life are and help them discover their path to releasing them as well.
When someone asks me, “What is real growth”, I tell him or her that doing our own work to develop empathy is the beginning. Understanding and developing the non-verbal part of our brain will open up a richness and depth of understandings that makes us so much more ourselves and complete.
There is no way we should do without all of our senses and both having empathy for others as well as ourselves is a sense we only benefit from. The enlightened experience of working with our thoughts and emotions can open a beautiful new world, once we get used to the idea.
I worked hard to grow and it took conscious effort to do it. I had to understand what feelings I had about myself were doing to alter my reality. I understood that the automatic non-verbal feelings I had were what created the theme to my story. In order to create with intent, I had to understand how to rewrite these themes.
“To love and be loved in return” real love is the best resource for growth.
Brain chemistry rewards
How do we become more ourselves and alive?
Have we ever had a dream where someone or something is chasing us and we are unable to see what or who it is?
We want to run in those dreams but the same dream can give us a feeling we are unable to move.
What is chasing us and what is holding us from moving forward?
There is something we may not be able to see…it is the same problem the Tin Man, the Lion and the Scarecrow had….and it can create nightmares for the child within us.
I am sure we have all rewarded ourselves when we accomplished something others admire. We feel more alive because we have been conditioned to give ourselves a chemical reward for the accomplishment.
How can we find what we like if we only receive chemical rewards for the things we have been conditioned to do?
If there is no reward for us opening our heart to find what would feel wonderful for us, how can we have the courage, brains or heart to create wonderful dreams asleep or awake?
Can we reward ourselves for things that would make us proud, even if they are not something we have rewarded ourselves for in the past?
We can create chemical rewards and rewrite our conditioning so we get the same “feeling of aliveness and pride” we got from doing what someone else wanted us to do. We can reward ourselves for our creativity in the same way we would for finishing a project, getting a good grade, hearing a “job well done”, hearing applause, having someone admire us that is an “authority” figure or from getting a diploma, a medal or a watch…
In the Wizard of Oz the Scarecrow has stopped thinking, the Lion has lost courage, the Tin-man has lost heart and all because they do not know how to reward the child within.
There is a child within all of us. We are that child’s parent now. What is our excuse for not rewarding ourselves for being who we are?
How we reward ourselves is automatic.
Let us examine what we are feeling chemical rewards from…
We may have learned to respect authority figures more than our own judgement. If we feel more alive when a stranger admires us than when we look in the mirror, we may have become admiration based and not love based.
Looking for admiration may be the only time we give chemical rewards and this is hard for us…particularly when there are few of these rewards as we create our own business or are in management, there is more criticism and less praise as we excel.
We can condition ourselves to give automatic chemical rewards because of love.
I want you to try something. This is a “love based chemical reward” exercise.
I want you to treat your inner child to something. I want you to be proud of your inner child for directing you to something that made you happy. This is just a practice exercise.
Do you remember the last time you indulged in play? Have you played with bubbles, had a food fight, gone to get a massage, brought flowers home, went to a funny movie or just walked along the beach in the rain lately? If you remember something that made you happy, created art or heard music ….anything at all…. lets go to the next step.
Completely relax. Breathe deeply and as you slowly exhale let go in your face, now your head, now your neck, let your shoulders completely drop…. breathe deeply, exhale and relax all over.
Now remember the best feeling of reward or aliveness you have ever experienced in your body. The feeling of aliveness and excitement can be from anything, let go of the thought about what created the feeling and just feel the experience of the feeling all over. Take some deep breaths and allow the feeling to wash over your body and through every part of you. When you feel wonderful….
…….give it to the child within you. Walk slowly towards a mirror and with each step feel the wonderful feeling as it grows stronger, breathe deeply and ……as you open your eyes see the child within and feel good.
The child within deserves the reward of this chemistry because we love them/yourself for being happy in this life….its not so easy all the time…but it is important to feel alive and happy.
It is amazing how much more we are ourselves when the rewards we give ourselves automatically make us feel wonderful about ourselves.
The nucleus accumbens, the brains reward system, as well as the frontal lobe are much less active when we only reward ourselves for being admired. If we reward ourselves instead of just waiting to get it from others, we have much more activity going on in the reward system of our brain.
There are times we all have sadness or failure.
The same things the Wizard of Oz gave, self confidence, courage and the capacity to love are something we can give ourselves.
If we want to become who we were meant to be, we must have the ability to reward ourselves, not look for the Wizard of Oz to do it.
Love heals
The greatest thing, you will ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return.
Most of us are looking for an opportunity to have a feeling of oneness in a relationship.
The incredible feeling of oneness is something we shared with our parents before we were verbal.
When we were very young, we had empathy for our parents. We understood how they felt about themselves in relation to other people.
We imitated the way our parents felt and how they prepared for things and as it became a part of us, it was our “affect” now, not just our parents. Animals learn this the same way.
When we are in love and feel a oneness with another person once again, we have an opportunity to find clarity and resolution.
We can use the chemistry that our love creates within us to rewrite any erroneous affect we got from our parents.
When we are with a person we want to feel this oneness with, we release neurotransmitters, dopamine and nor epinephrine. These give us a feeling of excitement and heightened perception.
The more we are together with the person we feel one with, the more we release endorphins and enkephalins, these powerful natural narcotics give us a sense of comfort, safety and well being.
The feeling of oneness we have may come from the neurotransmitter serotonin. The important thing for us is that these give us the opportunity to rewrite things very easily.
We have the opportunity to re-write many things that we keep looking to resolve. Love is a powerful healing tool when we consciously use it to bring us enlightenment.
As we slip into this feeling of oneness, we can easily resolve our issues.
When we rewrite the old information, we are free to have wonderful feelings about ourselves all the time.
How we feel about ourselves alters how everyone else will feel about us, automatically.
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How are we able to rewrite affect, is it like a memory?
In experiments rats were first conditioned by getting a shock after hearing a horn.
Then just the horn sound was made without a shock and the rats continued to panic, a sign they had become conditioned.
The rats were unconditioned by using a drug that made them feel no emotion or fear. The sound of the horn was played when they were drugged and there was no reaction.
After the drug wore off the horn was again sounded and there was again no reaction from the rats.
What prepares us to react is a memory of a feeling. This memory is something like a file we open when we need information about a situation.
The memory is a solid thing like concrete before we access it.
As we review the file of the memory, it is no longer a “cement like physical thing” because it is being used, it is not a “memory” but rather a current item we are playing in our mind.
Because the “memory” is now a current event of thought, it is open to being rewritten or rerecorded with whatever new information we want to add to it.
When we are done thinking about the rerecording or what we edited after reviewing, it again becomes a solid object in the brain as it is being stored.
We edit memory each time we visit it.
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There are many types of touch. Please be careful to match the type of touch to the healing that is desired.
Recognizing what prepares me so I am not feeling comfortable or beautiful with a loving touch.
Click on the above exercise.
Rewriting what prepares me, so I am comfortable, feel beautiful and happy when I receive a loving touch.
Click on the above exercise.
Self Help
Einstein said, to have a solution to a problem, we have to have a different mind than the one that created the problem.
If we could bring clarity to the automatic part of our mind, we would create a “new mind”. This new mind would improve how we experienced everything. Our perceptions, feelings, emotions and preparations are all automatic and now they provide us with experiences to validate the clarity we have deep inside.
As we add clarity to the automatic part of us, we instantly prepare for a new way of experiencing ourselves and life. How we experience ourselves and life, will change what we experience.
When we remove the curtains and open the blinds, we can find what we have been looking for. We are not adding thoughts, ideas or conditioning that would make us less ourselves. This is something totally new. Here we are able to remove erroneous affect and conditioning that inhibited us, made us anxious, approval seeking, fearful and depressed.
Now we can see who we really are. Being our true selves allows us to naturally be confident, strong and creative. We are spontaneous and funny not phony. This type of clarity allows us to illuminate much more…enlightenment is just an extension of this.
It may be easy to see the difference between the feral cat outside and the one happily curled up in our lap. They both have a very different experience of their lives because of the affect they learned from their parents. How does affect actually effect us? How does it alter our experience?
Affect is really just a term for the process of having empathy for our parents feelings and after feeling them in our own body, we emulate those same feelings and as we do they become our own.
Our brain will prepare us for a particular relationship or situation, using the non-verbal information it has about what our role is in a relationship and what it should prepare us for. Our brains automatic preparation creates our reactions and adds value and meaning to what we see, this is how perceptions are created.
We do not need to “overcome limiting beliefs” to have clarity, our brain is not controlled by beliefs or words. Beliefs are a way of expressing how we feel, not a way of creating changes in how we feel about ourselves. If the way our automatic brain or “operating system” feels about us in a relationship is positive, we will be relaxed, present, alive, energized and whole automatically.
If we have a good relationship with the water because we can float, we are automatically relaxed and excited when we see the water. We are able to breathe deeply and expand our lungs, experience ourselves as being lifted by the water and have a great time. We will also have a wonderful experience of everyone around us.
Being relaxed enough to be in the present is the same, when we rewrite or remove an erroneous self image, body image, a feeling of shame or discomfort in a situation, so we feel confident, we are able to feel relaxed and excited automatically all the time. The simple exercise to remove and rewrite the erroneous information is a natural process will improve how we feel about ourselves and this will allow us to experience things that are only possible when we feel the way we should.
How we feel about our safety, appearance, creativity, lovability, well being, character, how we are heard, desired, how much reward we deserve and more, all alter the way we prepare and because of that, they alter the experiences we have.
Enlightenment is not just about being relaxed. Enlightenment is about having clear perceptions. Perceptions that allow us to experience better experiences.
The way we feel about ourselves is instant and automatic. We create our theme and story, before we consciously think about it. Just as in our dreams, the feelings we have deep inside about our self, alter what we see visually.
That is why we are here. Our perceptions, reactions, emotions, feelings, energy, presence, vitality, creativity, warmth, openness, bliss and laughter all are automatic. These form the foundation of who we are and the essence of what others may describe as our soul. Who we are is how we experience our life.
As we rewrite erroneous information, we essentially remove illusions about ourselves that prepared us for something bad. As we remove the illusions, we have a clarity that gives us a new and better life. When we have clarity in this way, how we perceive things allows us to have a better experience.
Enlightenment is just a state of clarity that allows us to perceive and enjoy much more, effortlessly.
