The Power of Being Real
Today we are going to learn a new exercise.
One part of the exercise will be used to rewrite the conditioning we have that creates physical guarding in our body, when we feel stress.
Another part of the exercise will be used to rewrite the conditioning that creates walls of avoidance or resistance to our being loved, to us caring about ourselves, or to us wanting the things that matter most to us.
The conditioning that causes us to guard ourselves physically and emotionally, was created to protect us from someone in our past.
People have few negative memories of a parent that was not emotionally mature enough to be unselfish and caring.
It would be very difficult for us to have memories of a parent that was not there with us, caring about us.
When we were very young, we saw everyone as part of us. If one of our parents did not enjoy seeing us and hearing us, or enjoy the responsibility of taking care of us, we did not see them as neglecting us.
As a baby if we were frightened or hurt and our parent did not comfort us, we did not see our parent as someone that was betraying the trust we had in them.
From birth we would cry to be cared for if we needed care. We smiled and laughed so that our parent would smile and laugh back, from infancy.
If our parent did not hold us, enjoy caring for our needs or enjoy spending time with us, we did not perceive our parent as being apathetic to us.
If a parent that did not comfort us when we needed them, got triggered by our crying, emotions, or desire for their attention… got distant and upset pushing us further away, we became frightened of them….and as we felt our parents feelings and energy in us, that feeling and energy conditioned us to fear our own emotions, to fear caring about our own needs and fear love.
When we become triggered now, we feel our parents energy in us and that “feeling of pushing away” is still creating guarding in our body and emotions instead of allowing us to feel safe and relaxed, when we care about something or feel loved.
This triggered energy in our parents was most likely something that happened to them and has been passed down for a while. The feeling or energy is triggered and we freeze like a bunny in a field, that realizes it is in danger moving. This “guarding and fear about caring too much” prevents us from moving forward to have the love of someone that would help us rewrite the feeling we have to not care about ourselves, or feel fear caring about someone else.
In the first stage of our experience of fear, our brain “freezes us in place” by creating guarding in our body and emotions, our brains resources are all transferred into thought as our brain activates the cingulate gyrus to hyperfocus.
Our “fight or flight” system is the second stage of fear. When our fight or flight system is engaged, it is because our brain has decided it is best not to stay frozen but instead to take control of our life and run or fight for our well being.
We were not able to run or fight as a young child, we had to stay and guard ourselves, so we were numb to our fear, hurt and anger….these very same “frozen feelings” are what we bring up when we are heard and loved now…
The reason we avoid, resist or become angry at someone that hears us, sees us and loves us, is because of the old conditioning of fear of loving someone that loves us and the feelings we never got to “feel” about someone that loved us and betrayed our trust.
Today we are going to move out of being stuck in the first stage of fear and add the “fight or flight” response or second stage of fear, to the folder that creates our physical and emotional guarding, as our new “enlightened response” ….and direct anger towards the person we never got angry at so that we stop guarding and feel comfortable opening our heart again.
Today we are going to get angry at the resistance, avoidance or hostility the person that created our conditioning had for our love. When we direct our anger at the person that created our conditioning, we tag the person that we are angry at and we add the feeling we are powerful and safe from them now, to the folder of our conditioning.
Now the folder that once contained information that gave us a response of guarding, has a “response” that is empowering as well as a perception of ourselves as assertive and capable.
Each time we rewrite something in the folder of our conditioning, it is less likely to be triggered. It does not take long doing the exercises before the old folder does not get triggered or open at all.
I see people that carry the conditioning from their past in their body and life. I feel the tightness, restriction of movement and pain they experience when I treat them.
When we are emotionally stressed we do not breathe deeply. Many people have to consciously focus on breathing deeply, because the guarding in their body does not allow them to naturally breathe deeply, without consciously focusing on breathing and relaxing.
We would “struggle” to float if we were too physically “guarded.” Being guarded tightens the muscles around our chest, shoulders, abdomen and neck, so it is almost impossible to expand our lungs deeply. If we are “guarded” we can’t inhale the amount of air required for us to become buoyant in the water, or to feel present and make others feel comfortable.
The conditioning that creates physical guarding, causes us to struggle with our life all the time.
Just as we learn to float one time and from then on, we are capable of floating anywhere….our fear and guarding from past conditioning will be rewritten non-verbally and we will have that comfort as our new way of being.
When the software we have from conditioning is triggered, we are in stage one of fear and our brain changes the way it works as well as starting a cascade of other events for our protection.
The triggered software alarms our autonomic nervous system to prepare for something bad to happen to us and we begin guarding in our muscles and shut down our emotions.
Our brain changes how it processes information when our old conditioning is triggered.
When our cingulate gyrus is activated, our brain looks to find a solution and will look for the cause of the problem until it finds a cause.
Because we are not capable of introspection when we are in stage one or stage two fear, when we are triggered, we do not realize that we are “transferring old fear, resistance and anger that has remained frozen in us” to someone willing to hear our emotions.
When we are triggered, we see our problem as being about someone else, not about us.
As we withdraw from our emotions, we disconnect from our deepest sense of self.
The perception of self-in relationship to others we have, is based a great deal on feeling our emotions and the emotions of others.
For us to feel loved, we have to feel emotions and not guard.
It is always very helpful to do the beginning exercises described in Empathic Healing Part 4.
Please watch the following short video.
We are “our own parent” now.
To be loving to ourselves and our body, without resistance. To care about what matters most to us and not avoid what matters. To seek comfort and not push it away. To enjoy all of our emotions comfortably. To feel good loving someone that loves us.
EXERCISE PREPARATION:
1) Have the person that created your conditioning in mind when you do the exercise. We are working on the contents of the file that our conditioning is in. Feeling comfortable with emotions we did not feel safe feeling and directing our anger towards the very person that we were afraid to be angry at, is what will allow us to change the conditioned response of “guarding” instead of feeling safe experiencing all of our emotions.
2) Have a plastic bat, something to hit with the plastic bat, a small trash can and Kleenex. We will feel some emotion we resist, avoid or become angry about. We will yell one of the suggested phrases associated with what we avoid feeling and as we yell as loud as possible, we will hit something with the plastic bat between 3 and 5 times.
Suggested phrases:
a) I fucking hate you
b) fuck you
c) you fucking ass hole
d) love me, fucking love me
e) take care of me, care for me
f) hear my feelings asshole
g) pay attention to me, hear and see me
h) be good to me and enjoy it you fucking jerk
i) make up one of your own phrases
3) After the exercise you will want to do something that gives you a feeling of being in your body and enjoying the experience. I suggest bike riding, getting a massage, sitting in a hot tub, doing some exercise or just going for a walk. When you are done bike riding or whatever you choose, please get something good to eat and watch some comedy or listen to some music you enjoy. It is best to have things prepared in advance so that you are able to feel bliss for as long as possible.
THE EXERCISE:
A) Find a place that you generally experience tightness and soreness in a muscle when you experience stress.
B) Push two fingers into the belly of the muscle, continue pushing until taking a full deep breath is difficult to do.
C) Keep trying to breathe and expand your lungs, while you push into the tight muscle.
D) Stop pushing into the muscle. Get the bat. Focus on the person that created your conditioning.and direct your anger towards them. Take a few deep breathes and yell and hit with the plastic bat for 3-5 hits while yelling.
E) Now lie down and completely relax from head to toe while continuing to breathe as slowly and deeply as possible. Do not think but instead feel your body relax as you breathe. Feel the area that was tight relax more and more with each breathe and feel your body lighten each time you exhale..
F) When you are relaxed get up and do whatever you planned, go bike riding or get a massage.
G) Enjoy feeling emotions or all kinds but try to be happy and have fun or sleep until eight hours has passed and the new feeling that it is safe to feel emotions is hardened and lasting in your brain.
SCHEDULE:
Please do this exercise once or twice a week for six weeks.
If you need any help please contact me.
Experiencing Our Real Life
Are we loving to ourselves and open to others loving us?
I believe we all understand what real love is, from the moment we are born.
Why would we cry when we needed someone or smile to see a smile in return, if we did not have an understanding of what real love was?
I believe we still have an understanding of what real love is. I also know that most of us were conditioned to believe that what someone was giving us was real love, when we were not loved.
Would we know if we were conditioned (or tricked) to believe we were getting what we wanted?
We want to be able to give ourselves everything we need and want because we want to be a better parent to ourselves.
Are we continuing to believe the abandonment, betrayal of trust or abuse we were conditioned to accept instead of love, is what we really want?
The exercises for the next six weeks are below.
Doing these exercises over the next six weeks will help us understand if we have repressed our own needs, wants and desires. They will also put us in touch with our true understanding of what we want to have being loving to ourselves.
As a great parent to ourselves we want to give ourselves everything we need and want, with love.
Please watch the video and see how easily we could have lost connection to what mattered most in our heart.
Someone asked me, “If I feel that abuse is love what is wrong with it?”
In neurologic tests on the brain, women that had been abused saw photos of men that were angry or violent and saw them smiling and happy. The same abused women saw photos of men smiling and calm… but they did not see happy men.
There are at least two things wrong with desire to see abuse as love. If we see abuse as love we no longer can see abuse. If we see abuse as love, we are now blind to real love as well.
During the next six weeks we will be restoring our own feelings.
As we become whole and connected to our emotions, we will be tearing down the barriers to loving ourselves. When we feel lovable and love ourselves, we will begin to be comfortable having someone really love us.
Exercise Set 2:
Please do the previous exercise, exercise 1 first before doing these. After you have done exercise 1 three different times, proceed to the next exercises.
Each exercise is to be done in the same manner we did the first exercise. We need a mat, plastic bat and something like a footstool to hit.
We get in position with bat in hand kneeling on the mat in front of the footstool and then follow the suggestions for each separate exercise below.
Please allow a full day of happiness after each exercise.
Please do not in any way engage a person you are upset with during this time, because of feelings brought up by the exercises.
We are awakening our own connection to self and rewriting conditioning. We want to rewrite our conditioning by “feeling comfortable experiencing our emotions and happy afterward” so we open our heart.
We can always argue with someone later, right now we are giving ourselves the ability to feel our emotions deeply, there is nothing more important we can do until that has been accomplished.
Each exercise should not last more than five minutes. Please be sure to remember to do something that feels wonderful for your body, something that is good for your well being as well, such as exercise or receiving a massage.
We are empowering ourselves to be good to ourselves and have a different feeling about our emotions, one where we can have them and enjoy our life, not be afraid of them.
I am going to leave it up to you to decide what memory you will be upset about but only think about the memory and call up the feeling for a few seconds, do not allow the feeling to overwhelm you or shut you down.
After feeling the emotion, let go of all thought and feel deep anger in your body, then take the bat and attack the footstool yelling the words of each exercise.
After you hit the footstool and yell in anger a few times, please go sit down and feel as good as you can all over your body. When you have calmed down and feel good, please go do something wonderful for yourself.
We are just rewriting the conditioning that blocked our real feelings.
If you want later you can feel sadness and cry or yell but remember to just do a little and keep in mind that it was the past. Immediately after feeling emotions do something to be good to yourself and be happy or watch some comedy.
We want to set up a new pattern of allowing ourselves to feel all of our emotions but we want to be gentle with ourselves and not bring old feelings into our life now.
The exercises should be done one step at a time and only one a day. It may seem like we are doing very little but we are doing a great deal and will experience great results.
Exercise 1)
“Want me!”
This is the emotion and what we will yell when we hit the footstool, we want to be angry that we were not wanted as much as we should have been by someone.
Exercise 2)
“Love me!”
We want to be angry and tell someone “Love me!” Ultimately these are also for us to hear ourselves but we need to allow ourselves to be comfortable being angry at someone that could have loved us more, before we will feel comfortable loving ourselves.
Exercise 3)
“Hear me!”
We want to be angry at someone for not hearing us and doing what we needed them to do.
Exercise 4)
“See me!”
We want to be appreciated and enjoyed for who we really are, we want to be angry at someone that did not do that when we were told they loved us.
Exercise 5)
“Hold me!”
We want to feel angry at someone that we hoped would enjoy holding us.
Exercise 6)
“I am special!”
We want to be angry with someone that did not do what made us happy when we were little. We wanted to be supported in finding what made us happy and hoped it would make them happy to see us happy.
Please love yourself. Please forgive anything that was not loving to yourself that you did, we did our best at the time.
Namaste. I love you. <3
You pushed love down the stairs…
I grew up in San Francisco and when I was a kid, I would walk my wagon up a steep hill by my house and ride it down the middle of the street. I remember flying in the air when my wagon would hit bumps. There were moments I achieved weightlessness. Floating or flying, whatever it was, it was wonderful.
I remember flying far out of my wagon on some bumps. Sometimes I would leave the wagon completely and land on the road.
As children, we all got hurt playing. We got up if we fell down, wiped the dirt out of our hands and kept playing.
I got hurt learning to ride my bike too. I bet you got hurt learning to ride your bike. We get hurt many times growing up but getting hurt playing never changed how we felt about ourselves.
When the people that we trusted to love us, hurt us, it did change the way we felt about ourselves. Most people do not stop playing because they got hurt playing, they stopped playing because they were hurt emotionally.
If we became numb during the time someone hurt us, we may not remember why we stopped playing. Come with me and I will show you how we can find a connection to the playful part of us, once again.
When we are infants, we are unable to take care of ourselves and need our parents to take care of us. We focus on our parent’s emotions and happiness more than our own, because we need them for our care.
Betrayal, trauma or neglect hurt us emotionally, we get upset…and when we experience our emotions of sadness or upset, if our emotions make the person that is hurting our feelings more upset and they hurt us more…it is natural for us to stop having emotions, in order to be less abused… Denying our emotions is how we quickly lose our connection to “self” and soon, we stop playing fearlessly.
Connected to our own feelings about ourselves is where we are strongest.
The feelings of someone we bond with become a part of how we feel about ourselves. It is sad, but becoming numb actually makes the feelings of insecurity we have, hard to experience and understand as not our own feelings but the feelings someone else had that was in my opinion a jerk.
These are feelings someone conditioned us to have about ourselves. We were conditioned to become numb when they got emotionally upset about being hurt by someone. When we were numb, it was easy to condition us to accept their feelings about us, instead of our own.
Each time they lied to us and promised us love and took love instead, we had a dissonance occur in our brain that was created by our caring more about them than they did for us. This dissonance in our brain made us infatuated with the pursuit of their attention and love. This pursuit, of the admiration and attention of someone that does not love us, is the foundation for narcissism. The feelings of insecurity we have from someone that hurt us, is more about them and less about us. Each minute we get back up and fight to get our life and emotions back, the insecurities we have, just like realizing a nightmare was just a bad dream…disappear forever.
We were happy playful kids. We took on the feelings of the person that hurt us and bonded with them because we did not have our own feelings and emotions.
Understanding our insecurities are not about us is important. Our insecurities are like weeds that someone else planted and have nothing to do with us.
The insecurity weeds grow larger each time we listen to someone that tells us to abandon our emotions. Our emotions are the beautiful flowers that grow in our garden, when we care about them.
Re- connecting to our true self is like finding our garden, we have to hear and experience all of our emotions. We were not comfortable having the emotions that created our aliveness but we need to reconnect to them now. When we have compassion for our heart, we open the well that waters the garden and we bloom again.
When we love someone that loves us, we see who we are. We stop being worried about what others think and we enjoy what we are doing.
Narcissists are everywhere now, it is important for our ability to re-connect with our self, that we avoid them.
Humans are not able to be introspective without emotions. As a narcissist, a person is not able to realize they do not have much empathy for others they want in their lives.
Narcissists can speak of love and tell you they love you. Narcissists have dramatic swings of feelings about themselves because “feeling admired” is far from connecting to the real child/person within.
If we bond with a narcissist and we become numb, we risk losing the ability to connect to our emotions and become our authentic selves.
(Here is where we push love down the stairs…)
I was emotionally hurt a long time ago and because of that I began studying A Course in Miracles and Neuro Linguistic Programming. After doing N.L.P. for a while, I became a narcissist. It was great not to feel sad but I did not notice I was not feeling many emotions at all.
I did a lot of work to feel my emotions again and I am proud to say I understand how much better life is feeling all my emotions. I am no longer a narcissist and would be glad to help anyone that wants help re-connecting to their authentic self.
Yesterday on a new age radio network, I was listening to a very popular author. She was taking calls from listeners and helping them with the problems they had.
The woman that called in wanted to know, “Why do I keep chasing after people that hurt me?”
The author told the person, “You need to stop caring so much about people in your life and become selfish. You deserve to be happy.”
We do not need to become selfish, or narcissists to be happy.
When we are whole and connected to our emotions, we are able to be happy and love others.
I am sad to hear so many people telling others to do something that would only bring symptomatic relief and then bring the caller back needing more.
To remove the cause of a problem, I would ask more questions of the caller. If I understood more, I could empower the caller to remove the cause of their problems themselves.
There are maps that allow people to return to the connection they once had with themselves. Each map is unique because our path is our life. It is wonderful to show someone how he or she can create a wonderful re-bonding experience himself or herself.
It is only through love that we can heal our broken heart.
In loving our children, we see our own beauty. The person that runs into our arms with love is the mirror we want to have.
The love we have for the person that loves us, will allow us to see how much we are like the person we love and we will bond to the feeling they have about us.
When we have bonding experiences with souls that reflect how lovable and wanted we are, we will once again play with abandon.
Narcissist The Exercise for Healing
Video “Part One”will help us understand how a narcissist persona began and how it changes us.
Video “Part Two” is the exercise for healing ourselves. When we open our heart, have a way to automatically love ourselves the way others do and become real as a result…we can see our beauty with a new clarity and the beauty of others as well.
I love you.
Photo @ by Zack Milstein
Video Part One
Video Part Two
Emotions Add Color to the World
After asking people for many years when they first started using self-help, I realized that most people started using self help after being hurt emotionally.
From my own experience, the first time I used self help was to numb my emotions.
When I was doing self help a long time ago I saw that many used self help to have a cool image as well.
There are so many people concerned with image that I declare “Style to have officially won over substance.” Someone cool seems preferable to a warm heart.
The emotional work I have done the last 20 years, is very different from other types of self help. My work is about allowing people to open their heart and experience all of their emotions so they can be themselves and grow.
Is love something we hold as sacred? Is love an idea or a feeling in our heart? Is just loving anyone special for us or is loving someone that loves us in return, that is sacred to us? Do we experience the joy of love for someone even when we are not with them and does this shape our being?
When we open our heart to another, we feel how they genuinely feel about us. If the person we love becomes numb, we no longer have our playmate to have fun with. It is easy to close our heart and hard to open it again.
If we hold love sacred, we must be able to experience the emotion of real love.
If we are not helping people open their hearts, how are we helping the world?
Self help is commonly used to mask emotional pain. This way of dealing with emotions only brings symptomatic relief.
Self help should make us more capable of experiencing all of our feelings, perceptions, reactions and emotions so we can find what the cause of our problems is. We need to learn to love ourselves. Love is an emotion.
We can not stop just a few emotions, we stop all emotions including the experience of love when we try to stop feeling any emotions.
I find people are less interested in removing the real cause of their problems, when they have symptomatic relief. Some of the same techniques that are used to make people stop feeling emotions that are used in mind control, are commonly used in self help. These only assist people in disconnecting from their lives.
To be our authentic selves and use our entire brain, we need to feel emotions. Emotions are essential to being who we are. We understand others through their emotions, as they understand us through our emotions or numbness as well.
Most of us experience more of what is important for our growth while we are feeling love than at any other time. Love gives us the incentive to grow.
People that have stopped feeling because they have been hurt, experience the addition of depth and color when they are able to feel emotions again.
Step 3- Emotions Add Color to the World, is about us allowing ourselves to have all of our emotions and be comfortable and not afraid of them.
We do not go back to the past to dredge up emotions. We try to become comfortable feeling any emotions we have not allowed ourselves to feel.
The more we allow ourselves to feel comfortable and safe with the emotions we have, the less fear we have of feeling emotions. People that feel their sadness or hurt in a gentle and compassionate way are able to feel love again because they are not too afraid of pain to open their heart.
In group 3 we do not discuss personal information. We do allow people to have the emotions or feelings that seem to them to be too much for them to experience alone. We give support and love to those brave enough to experience the fear and emotion that has stopped them from having the love we all want to enjoy.
Step Two Seeing the Beauty of Our Soul
How do we grow as a person so that we can experience our beauty reflected in the world we see? One of the important steps in the process is to develop an appreciation for the beauty of our soul.
When we are able to experience the beauty our soul has, we are able to open our heart much more. As we open our heart we turn up the volume on all of our senses and experience much more.
“How” we see ourselves is important for our growth. In particle physics, you may have learned that “how” we observe an object changes it. If we are only able to see light in the form of a particle, light will become a particle. When we are only able to see light in the form of a wave, light will become a wave.
How we observe something in particle physics changes it. “How” we observe ourselves changes us as well.
If we put on a new outfit, we feel wonderful. When we feel wonderful, we experience ourselves in a way that allows us to be more ourselves. Who we are when we are more ourselves, allows us to create experiences we would not have, if we were not feeling whole.
What creates the way we “see” ourselves? Our brain works as a unit for many tasks but not all tasks. Some areas of our brain have specific duties. One area of our brain adjusts our pupil size and another area has the ability to analyze information the information our eye receives about the spectrum of light. This area of our brain adds the value of color to an object.
Another area of our brain adds the emotional value others have for us. “How” we see ourselves, is an emotional value we place on ourselves. “How” we see ourselves may be different in each relationship we have. How we see ourselves also changes the outcome of each relationship we have.
Our brain is primarily a social tool for us to interact with others. The part of our brain that ascribes the value or meaning of the facial expressions of others, does this for us instantly. In the same instant, the same area of our brain will change how we feel in relationship to someone’s facial expressions. We also understand what we may expect as an outcome of this relationship in the same way.
We learned “how” to feel about ourselves from our early experiences. The part of our brain that “sees” us, does not understand language.
Step number 2 is about seeing the beauty of our soul. We will be doing exercises that allow us to rewrite the conditioned way we see ourselves in various relationships. The exercises give us an experience that allows us to see the beauty of our soul reflected in the eyes of everyone we have a relationship with.
We learn to dance, float or ride a bike and have a new experience of ourselves that allows us to see ourselves differently. “How” we now see ourselves has been enhanced because of a new experience of ourselves. The way we get updates in our brain so we can see ourselves in a new way is not from words or ideas but from a new experience of our self.
How does seeing our self in an enhanced way improve our life in an objective way? When we are interviewed for a job, our job is to move a person’s feelings about us towards our goal of offering us the job. If how we see ourselves is as a wonderful person, the person interviewing us will instantly understand how we feel. If we do not feel comfortable, the person interviewing us will understand this too, without us saying a word.
If we ran out onto a stage because we were late and the audience lights were on so we could see the audience, we would look into the eyes of the audience and see them as judgmental. How we felt about ourselves (anxious) would be added to the value or meaning of what we felt was behind the eyes looking at us.
If we feel wonderful, relaxed and lovable before we went onstage, we would see the audience love us. Conditioning is the “preparation” added before we do something. The feeling we have inside us about ourselves is what we see in the eyes of others.
If we have a good objective experience of ourselves a few times, each experience will validate a new and enhanced automatic way of seeing ourselves. Just as when we learn to dance, we can have an experience of ourselves in any social situation or relationship that will allow us to be more comfortable and whole.
Seeing love in someone’s eyes now becomes what we prepare for automatically each time we see them or when we go onstage. We now have a new conditioned response and a new outcome because of it.
If we saw ourselves as unlovable or someone that had to accept mistreatment, we might have lived out a story similar to a tragedy. When we appreciate who we are and respect the beauty of our soul, we give ourselves the ability to rewrite our story and create the life we want.
Seeing the beauty of our soul is what this lesson and group is about. The 2nd group gives us the support of having a new experience of ourselves in any relationship we want to improve. The experience allows us to see the beauty of our soul in others eyes.
As we learn to appreciate the beauty of our soul, we develop the ability to also see beauty in the souls of others. When we see the beauty of a person’s soul it is wonderful to see how much they enjoy showing us all of the beauty they have. As we open our heart and connect to others in this way, we create an enhanced experience.
The Seven Step Program
The 7 step program:
1) It’s my life
2) My soul is beautiful
3) Emotions add color to the world
4) Teaching my brain to reward me
5) Creating feelings in others
6) Opening my heart to create what I want
7) Relationships
Each step and peer support group will enhance our experience of life.
Step 1 – “It’s my life”
A person entering the group accepts that they are now “their own parent” and have the responsibility of giving themselves the love and happiness, they always wanted to have.
We take responsibility for hearing and seeing who we are. This means that we honor our feelings.When we cry inside, we hear it and do something about it. When we are our own parent and hear our inner child, we feel heard. When we listen we become more alive.
When we laugh and are happy, we reward ourselves by being proud we were good to our inner child. In this way we feel seen for who we are. We become more confident and whole each time we reward what makes us happy.
By being there all the time for our inner child, we re-pattern our early bonding experience. Because of this we have an enhanced experience of ourselves in the world.
As we feel ourselves as a caring and loving parent that is always there, we develop object permanence. Object permanence is the grounded feeling people want. We feel safe, at home and wanted no matter where we are.
The group allows members to talk about the new relationship they have with themselves and how they are parenting their inner child. We support each other as loving and compassionate parents that are learning more all the time.
This first step in opening our heart, is wonderful when we have support for the work we do.
“Awakening to the Beauty of You” at New Awakenings Bookshop
As you know my work is about re-writing conditioning. There are times we can become conditioned to feel anxious in our lives. I find doing the exercises in these workshops is the quickest and easiest way to re-write the conditioning we have.
There is a difference between feeling good, which is symptomatic relief of feeling bad and feeling good automatically all the time. If we remove the cause of what made us not feel good, we feel good automatically all the time.
Many people are not aware they have conditioning because they just experience a reaction they believe to be appropriate.
To have conditioning that makes us less ourselves, not see our beauty, feel uncomfortable, experience shame and not have the life we possible could have is sad.
One of the steps towards enlightenment, is having the ability to see our own light. The curtains and drapes that prevented us from experiencing our true selves and seeing the reflection of our beauty in the world, are now easily torn asunder.
We are going to do an exercise to be ourselves again. First let us look at what conditioning is so we appreciate how it would happen to us and how we can re-write it.
A rat is conditioned by seeing a light and then receiving a shock, a light then a shock, a light and then a shock. After the shocks stop the rat prepares for the anxiety that will come after it sees the light and that is re-recorded as the light and the shock was over and over, each time it sees a light. The light then anxiety, the light then anxiety and now after the shocks are long gone, the rat is still apprehensive. We now have a timid rat.
Conditioning is “the automatic preparation that happens to us before something.” The anxiety was a preparation for a shock, now anxiety is the preparation for anxiety….which can happen to us.
When there is loss of a loved one: there is love, anxiety and sadness, love, anxiety and sadness and we become conditioned to feeling anxious as a preparation to losing someone. The interesting thing is the trigger for the “preparation of anxiety” is not loss but love. Love then anxiety, love then anxiety….this is the conditioned response.
The conditioning makes us feel anxious feeling love or being loved.
Love may seem like it is about someone else but it allows us to be more of who we are. The chemistry we have when we feel love, allows our brain to work with much more clarity and we are much more powerful. For us to have love (which is a different intention than finding love) we have to be comfortable.
Conditioning is a preparation. We are going to re-write the preparation we have that makes us feel anxious when we anticipate wonderful emotions. To do this, we want to anticipate receiving love and pleasure as the first step.
As we anticipate pleasure from a massage that is going to happen or anything else that would make us feel wonderful and happy, we want to breath deeply and surrender. We want to practice this, relaxing before receiving pleasure and then stay relaxed and surrender as we receive pleasure.
The next step is to feel emotions are pleasure and to add the same relaxation technique of breathing deeply and surrendering to the emotions we feel that are pleasant.
As we continue doing the exercise, we feel pleasant emotions and then great in our body, we feel pleasant emotions and then great in our body. We re-write the conditioning and now when we prepare for emotions, instead of feeling anxiety and shutting down, we prepare to feel wonderful in our body.
We can also become conditioned in a way that does not allow us to see our beauty. To awaken to our beauty we have to remove the conditioning that made us feel shame, inhibition or insecurity.
Just as losing someone can condition us to have anxiety about feeling love. We can become conditioned to have anxiety about feeling beautiful.
If we wanted to be seen as beautiful and became anxious, we wanted to be seen as beautiful and became anxious, we wanted to be seen as beautiful and became anxious, we may have become conditioned to feeling anxiety about feeling beautiful.
We now look at a group of people looking at us and become anxious. If someone wants us to touch and kiss us all over we become anxious. Any time we are self conscious we become anxious.
We will have someone care about us, “when we stop feeling anxious and can enjoy being seen, touched and loved.”
Our beauty comes from our soul. To experience the beauty of our soul is one of the greatest awakenings we can have.
In this workshop you will do a simple exercise that will “rewrite” the conditioning that has made you feel ashamed, prevented you from seeing your beauty, feeling self love, feeling like a goddess, enjoying someone adoring you and a myriad of other inhibitions.
Feeling beautiful is about much more than our appearance. During the workshop we will see how others look at us in an awakened and enlightened way….we will see how beautiful and lovable we are in their eyes. We will see how beautiful we are.
This way of seeing is just removing the conditioning that prevented us from seeing clearly. We will experience our beauty at the workshop and after. We will always see how beautiful and lovable we are automatically after that.
The new experience we have of ourselves will allow us to see the real beauty in others as well. This workshop gives us a permanent “enhancement in clarity”. Now we experience ourselves in a way that will allow us to see our beauty reflected in the world.
This is a video of the end of another workshop. Each one is as unique as we are.
Please come to the workshop at New Awakenings
Saturday, July 28 2012, 3:00pm – 5:00pm
For more information you can also call me at 360-953-7408.
Confident IV the first exercise
In a previous blog titled “Who Am I” I said, “The good news is we can change anything we want and become who we want, without having to go into the past. Because our brain is designed to grow and be whole, what we do in the present is the best vehicle for developing and enhancing our brain.”
Today we are going to learn a beginning exercise that will help us to be the confident, present and compassionate person we hope to be. This exercise will also give us the ability to start changing our reality.
The first thing a person needs to be able to open their heart, is a feeling of safety within themselves.
This feeling of safety will give someone a feeling of well being and presence as well. This feeling will also allow someone to feel pleasure opening their heart without being stressed.
What gives an infant the feeling of confidence are a few things, 1) object permanence (parents that are always there when needed), 2) touch (feeling wanted), 3) having someone hear us when we cry, responding to our feelings (feeling heard) and 4) having someone smile when we smile (feeling seen).
To have those feelings….of feeling taken care of, of being wanted, of feeling heard and being seen for who we are, we want to do the following exercise:
If we are not living with our parents and they are not taking care of us, we are our own parents and we have control of what happens to us.
1) The first part of the exercise is for us to accept and understand that we are now our own parents. We make the decisions about what we have in our life.
The most important part of the first step is for us to willingly take responsibility for the most important things for our life, in a loving caring way.
Object permanence comes from someone being responsible for taking care of us…our needs and wants. As we take the responsibility for giving ourselves the things that matter most and make sure all of our dreams are heard more seriously, we give ourselves more object permanence (this makes us feel deep safety and well being).
2) The second part of the exercise is to treat ourselves as a sweet child that has real needs that are physical, emotional and creative. We want to listen to and hear all the needs we have. We must not ignore any of our feelings. We also want to see ourselves as capable and lovable. Feeling heard and seen in this way also gives us a feeling of object permanence and well being.
3) The third part of the exercise pulls the first and second parts together into action. For our health and well being, we are going to get massaged several times in the next couple weeks.
We give the child within the touch we need for survival. The “non-verbal” understanding of touch is important. Our limbic system (the place in our brain that is the lens we use to see ourselves as safe) understands this non-verbal language. We can use this new experience to rewrite unresolved feelings we may have. How it feels in our body to be wanted and loved is powerful.
If we take responsibility for “getting a massage”, we are in essence giving the child within the caring loving touch so many people do not receive from other things. The more wonderful loving feelings we take responsibility for giving ourselves, the better we will feel.
As we take responsibility for the care of our needs, the need to be touched, heard, seen, wanted and loved, we develop a sense of safety, trust, presence and well being that allows us to feel a deep safety and confidence that nothing else can give us.
As we feel more safety and well being, we soon feel joy opening our heart.
There are many more things we can do to grow and have a wonderful life.
If you have any questions please feel free to write me Bob@ichangereality.com or call me at 360-953-7408
Confident part II
Most of us never think of ourselves as timid or confident. What is the difference between someone timid and someone confident?
In my opinion the difference between someone timid and someone confident is this: A timid person is uncomfortable and wants to stop feeling that way. A confident person has the ability to connect to what is going on inside of themselves and feel comfortable being vulnerable.
A timid person does not feel comfortable being more vulnerable. A confident person relishes the naked joy of their emotional vulnerability and is capable of being proud of themselves for growing.
A timid person is not comfortable experiencing their own feelings and emotions. A confident person experiences all of their feelings and emotions and is able to be vulnerable, open and grow from the lessons they learn.
People can see what is happening outside of themselves and want that to change. People discuss intent with me and ask me how to change intent so they may have happiness. When discussing intent, I tell people that we create things because we are comfortable having something, not because we want something we have not had.
I tell people that have relationships that leave them feeling empty to become comfortable experiencing their own feelings as a first step. After we experience our feelings it is possible for us to give ourselves the feelings we want to get from others. When we love ourselves, the universe will send us help.
A timid person wants to stop feeling uncomfortable. They enjoy making someone feel good, they want to be wanted and needed.
A narcissist is also a timid person. This timid person has traded the need to be loved in for a need to be admired. A narcissist has given up on being themselves, they have the idea that they can be more successful being what others want.
When we think being someone different will make us what people want, being comfortable with who we are…which is the “road to confidence”… just gets further away.
A sociopath is someone that is also a timid person. A sociopath enjoys having control of others and believes power is what is respected and wanted. Sociopaths enjoy using other timid people to feel more powerful.
All timid people are, “looking into someone’s eyes to feel good about themselves.”
With some practice experiencing all of our own feelings, we can understand what situations give us reactions that make us feel uncomfortable. When we are feeling uncomfortable we are not likely to enjoy feeling vulnerable.
I can easily rewrite a preparation to a situation that creates a reaction that makes someone feel uncomfortable. After we rewrite the preparation to the situation that made someone uncomfortable, we have rewritten the conditioning associated with the experience.
When we have rewritten the conditioning, a person can feel vulnerable and comfortable or wonderful. This ability gives someone a new experience of themselves and allows someone to have a much greater option of wonderful experiences. It is the same as if we learn to float…we now experience the water, ourselves and being vulnerable in a comfortable and wonderful new way. It is important to feel comfortable and wonderful being vulnerable in as many social situations as possible because our brain was created to be social.
When we grow in this way, we make it possible to rewrite the story that is the theme of our life. We can become confident at our core and have fun growing, being and creating.
I am going to give some exercises in part 4 that are easy and lasting that will help us to become happy, confident and capable of creating what will be wonderful.
Email me or call me if I can help you personally with anything. Bob@ichangereality.com or 360-953-7408.
Confident
In this and other future blogs, we will be discussing many things Cerebrology® is successful in treating.
One basic premise we use in Cerebrology® is, if we can cause our own problems….we can also grow and not be the cause of our problems.
If we can create illness, lack of love or unhappiness, we can also create health, love and happiness by understanding how we are creating our problem and removing the cause, not by just treating the symptoms.
There are many physical, personal and emotional problems we can successfully treat and fix with Cerebrology®. Everyone that learns Cerebrology®, will have an understanding of how to diagnose and treat any problem that we create ourselves.
In this blog we will discuss the concept that, no matter when in the past we learned something that creates problems, we can understand how to quickly and easily find a way to remove the cause now. We do not need to look back to go forward.
I am going to use an example that is a part of the core of our being, to show when and how we can acquire a problem. In the next blog, I am going to use the example to show that we still have to treat the problem as it presents itself now.
One of the causes of many problems are the reactions people have. When discussing reactions there are two important factors: what we react to and how we react. How we react to things is a large part of “who” we are at our core.
Today, we are going to discuss two different core “types” that are based on the way someone reacts. The reason we are going to discuss these two core types is because they can have a component that was learned even before we were born.
Two of the many ways of reacting to things are “timid” (which we may understand as passive-aggressive) and “confident” (which is assertive).
At any time during our life, we can be forced to have deference (submission to someone, when the wellbeing and happiness of another becomes more important than our own) to someone who has taken our volition (free will, ability to make decisions for our needs). In this situation we begin to care for the feelings of the person who took our volition and put their needs and desires before our own.
In many cases neglect is used to create deference. Neglect as a form of abuse is often invisible to us.
If we are “helpless” and in need the goodwill of the person we are submitting to, we add another bonding experience. This experience is similar to an infant’s caring more about the mother’s well being more than its own. The mother is able to give the infant what it needs and the infant’s job is to have the mother love it.
We may respect, admire, feel we need and be attracted to the person who we want to have care for us. Unfortunately people that experience this new bonding, may have desires that are “upside down”. People who have not had someone love them and have only wanted to love someone else may want more.
The trauma of an experience that pushes someone to bond from fear, can add a “timid” component to their being. The “timid” person is comfortable being passive and caring for someone they have deference for. The timid person will also become hyper-vigilant in comfortable and emotionally intimate situations, feeling annoyed, irritable or even smothered by love. A timid person can be prone to getting stuck in the first stage of fear, frozen in place and obsessing on ideas. A confident person will go to the first stage of fear and look to find what is wrong outside of themselves. The confident person then goes to the second stage where the fight or flight system comes in and they take action to change the situation or they calm down enough to be self examining and relax. The second stage allows us to “experience” the feeling of being in our body and not just in our head.
In mice that have a timid mother the offspring are timid as well. In mice that have a confident mother the offspring are confident as well.
In experiments when a timid mother’s fetus is placed in a confident mother and the baby is raised by the confident mother, the mouse will be confident.
If a confident mother’s fetus is placed in a timid mother and the baby mouse is raised by the timid mother, the mouse will become timid.
If our mother was timid or confident, we understood how she felt about herself in various situations and we felt the same about ourselves. This non-verbal way of learning and mirroring is automatic.
We see how deeply a part of our core a timid or confident reaction is for us. Understanding all of the history of how we acquired our reactions, does not rewrite or change the reactions.
Treating the problem of being timid (the symptoms) with verbal motivational messages is not going to help us change the reactions that alter our self perception and reality either. The information we use to give us our self-image was learned from non-verbal cues, that came in through our visual motor pathways.
The limbic system of our brain, is much like the operating system of a computer and it does not use the same language we use in verbal thoughts. The limbic system stores our memories as emotions and feelings about our self in various experiences. The visual experience we now have is sent to the limbic system to gauge its value or meaning for us. How we automatically prepare will add the textural feelings and enhancements of perceptions and emotions, that create our experience. The preparations we have determine our reactions and whether we are “timid” or “confident,” how we experience things will be different. How we perceive ourselves emotionally will change the options of experiences we have. These options can make all the difference in the world.
To have clarity and become confident…not have hyper-vigilant reactions or desires to be in inappropriate situations, we will need to rewrite our “timid” conditioning so we can be confident and create more of what we want.
In the next blog, we will discuss how to identify and rewrite this non-verbal information… that creates a “timid” persona… quickly, easily and permanently using Cerebrology®.
I would like you to know this is not something that is just an idea but rather something I understand from doing over 15 years of regressive psychotherapy as well as 10 years of primal therapy very far back into womb feelings. I experienced my mothers feelings while I was in the womb as well as during infancy and I have done my own work. I am offering something that has been a labor of love and I have been doing Cerebrology® work on myself and others for over 20 years.
If you have any questions please send an email to Bob@ichangereality.com or call me at 360-953-7408. We can make the world a much better place, all we have to do is open our heart.
May you be washed by love as you go from strength to strength. <3
Who Am I
When someone asks us, who we are what do we say? Do we tell them the ideas we have about our image?
Are the ideas we have who we are? We can change ideas in a moment but to develop empathy, character or compassion may take years, why?
An idea is a thought and thoughts are changed by us all the time, in a moment. Empathy, character and compassion speak of how we have developed ourselves, they come from an ongoing experience of an emotional understanding that over time has changed our brain.
As we use our brain we develop neural pathways. What we do to stimulate our brain, changes the map of our brain. As we direct traffic to specific areas of our brain, we enhance the complexity of our brain in those areas. A person that uses his hands to touch and heal people, will have a much thicker and more complex area of their brain associated with touch, similar to someone that is blind and uses braille.
From using our brain to practice a sport, we can in time just watch the sport and our muscles will grow. If we spend time stimulating ourselves with visual sexual images, we may look at people and instead of seeing who they are, we may look to find something that will give us a stimulating chemical experience in our brain. As we focus on an obsession, we heat up our cingulate gyrus and unless we do something to stop hyper focusing and cool it off, such as doing something physical when we obsess… the obsession will become larger and larger. When we practice associating our senses with our emotions, we develop pathways that promote creative skills, “What light through yonder window breaks, it is the east and Juliet is the sun.”, is a combination of sensory, emotional and thinking skill use.
From not directing much traffic to an area, the complexity of our brain in that area diminishes. If we suppress our emotions, we may not be able to understand how others are feeling. As the map of our brain is changed, who we are is changed.
The good new is we can change anything we want and become who we want, without having to go into the past….. because our brain is designed to grow and be whole, what we do in the present….is the best vehicle for developing and enhancing our brain so we can enjoy the full use of it, in a balanced way.
I have a theory I call my “cow field theory”of growth. The path cows use in a field has no grass growing upon it. If we take the cows out of the field for long enough, the grass will grow back on the path the cows created. If we put a heard of cows into that field, in time they will eventually knock down the grass from the old path and it will be their new path. The new path is now what brings the cows home.
As we developed interests, enjoyed our passions and grew from experiences, we developed paths in our brain like the cows in a field do. Old paths can be revisited and new paths can be developed.
Many of the paths we developed, were a result of some foundational understandings we had about ourselves. These “understandings” could have been helpful in our pursuit of developing a life that was wonderful. Some “understandings” people have about themselves, prevent them from having much of a life. If a person has a self image that prevents them from feeling confident and relaxed, insecurities that inhibit them from doing the things that have meaning to them, fears of being hurt that prevent them from experiencing love or feelings of shame that do not allow them to experience the intimacy and joy of being vulnerable, all of these can now easily be permanently rewritten so that new paths can be created.
If there is some insecurity, fear, inhibition, reaction, jealousy or anxiety that is limiting your life, please call me at 360-953-7408 or message me, Robert Milstein on Facebook. I want to help you see what is possible when the curtains have been opened and you see by your light.
Emotions for Presence and a Higher Consciousness
What is it that turns up our senses and gives us presence when we are entering different situations? I remember walking by roses many times and they were nice but I was not amazed by them, nor do I remember stopping to smell them.
There have been times when I was sad, I would walk by roses and barely remember them as background. I barely could distinguish them from everything else. There are also times that I have been in love, walked by roses and been swept away with their beautiful smell and appearance. I would enjoy each moment and be more present than ever just being near the rose bush. I would notice the aphids and ladybugs, the thorns, the various amounts of blossoming and how each blossom no matter little or much it had opened had a different beauty. I would even notice how beautiful and fragrant the petals on the ground were. I would enjoy every moment and remember that I wanted to share this beauty with the person I loved.
Why was I able to be so much more present and aware of my senses, when I was in love? What happened that made it so I was not even aware of my senses when I was sad?
The information about the rose, the sight, the feeling of the petal, the sound of the breeze in the leaves and the fragrance of the rose are gathered together in our fusiform gyrus. From the fusiform gyrus the information is then sent to our limbic system and to the amygdala.
The amygdala adds value and meaning, to what we see, which is a way of preparing us. Is this a danger, is this something wonderful, is this something we run from, is this something we rush to? All of this is determined by the value and meaning our amygdala puts on what we look at. It is essentially the difference between looking and seeing.
There are many things that will have a different value and meaning to us, depending on how we experience ourselves at that particular moment. How we experience ourselves is determined by the amygdala as well.
This may seem complicated but it is essential to understanding how we experience the world. How we experience ourselves influences our experience of other sensory things. The emotional value and meaning we place on ourselves, “how we feel about ourselves and see ourselves”….will alter the lens we use to see the world.
The world changes depending on how we feel. We do not see others as they are, we see them as we are. When we have clarity we are able to distinguish between good and bad people. This clarity is an awakening.
When we have an emotional loving feeling about ourselves, we are able to experience much more. When we “feel” love for ourselves, we reward ourselves with a feeling of aliveness and presence, which heightens our perceptions and allows us to see with much more clarity. We are able to not only look at the rose but experience all of its beauty. We are also able to distinguish what is not good for us as well.
When we have healthy feelings about ourselves, we have the ability to be present and conscious.
The value and meaning the amygdala puts on what we sense, in this case a rose, will determine what happens in our brain. For those of us that want to be present, open our heart or be enlightened, what happens automatically in our brain is very important.
If we are worried, the limbic system reroutes our energy and attention to our cingulate gyrus where we focus our thoughts. In this way our brain is helping us find out what we are worrying about. At this time we do not send much information to our amygdala, we do not add value and meaning to things that do not involve our safety and a rose has little meaning to us at this time.
If we are trying to suppress our emotions by thinking instead of feeling, the meaning of a rose is very little as well.
If we feel love, we are deeply opening our emotions, or as we say “our heart” and a rose is something we see, want, share and enjoy.
With love, the emotional value of the rose cascades as a waterfall into our autonomic nervous system, the sympathetic stimulation opens our pupils and how much value and meaning the rose now has to us, can be measured by a galvanic skin response.
When we are in love, we see a rose and think of the person we want to share the rose with, we release neurotransmitters, dopamine and norepinephrine. These neurotransmitters give us a feeling of excitement and heightened perception. If we have been with the person we love long enough to have a bond, we will release endorphins and enkephalins, as we hold the rose and feel the love. The endorphins and enkephalins are powerful natural narcotics that give us a sense of comfort, safety and well being. If we share a rose with someone we share love with, we may release a neurotransmitter called serotonin, this neurotransmitter will give us a feeling of oneness.
The emotional value and meaning we add to sensory information, can bring great clarity to our lens. Our senses and thoughts are a component of perception, the emotions we have are the anchor that make what we see memorable.
Consciousness and Love
To simplify things for discussion, let us say there are four levels of consciousness that humans possess.
The first level is “I do this and this happens.” It gives a person an understanding of how to get things. Many people grow up in homes where people are masters at playing with their own feelings or the feelings of others to get what they want. People in this situation often hide their own feelings. They may become masters at reading or manipulating the feelings of others but they lack the ability to put themselves in the place of others, so they do not have the abilities to read others using empathy.
People that have excessive canalization ( in psychology, formation in the central nervous system of new pathways by repeated passage of nerve impulses.), of their brain towards thinking the world is just about cause and effect relationships may become unscrupulous.
The second level of consciousness is when we realize there are long-term effects of our actions. People become self-examining in this phase of consciousness. When we realize that getting what we wanted now, has made it hard to get what we wanted most of all, we are able to see more than just, “I do this and I get that.”
The third level of consciousness is where we develop empathy. Empathy requires a great deal of us caring about someone that cares about us, to be able to perceive subtle non-verbally expressed feelings. When we love another and put ourselves in the other’s place, we develop the feeling part of our brain. The more we care about another person’s feelings the more we develop this non-verbal part of our brain, through empathy.
When we have developed this non-verbal part of our brain and have the third level of consciousness, we are able to enter our own feelings to discover the inner world of not only one other person but of all others. The more we care, the more we develop this extra sense.
In the fourth level of consciousness we understand that how we experience ourselves, will alter our experience. We understand that when we develop an appreciation for “who we are” we are able to relax, welcome love, welcome attention and be much more connected to another person.
When we experience this level of connection, we are able to feel how our subtle feelings automatically influence others that are not even aware we are changing reality.
When we have this level of consciousness, we are able to feel our own blocks to healing, having love or creating beauty and release them. We are also able to enter our own feelings to discover the inner world of another person to help them understand what their own blocks to healing, creating love or creating beauty in their life are and help them discover their path to releasing them as well.
When someone asks me, “What is real growth”, I tell him or her that doing our own work to develop empathy is the beginning. Understanding and developing the non-verbal part of our brain will open up a richness and depth of understandings that makes us so much more ourselves and complete.
There is no way we should do without all of our senses and both having empathy for others as well as ourselves is a sense we only benefit from. The enlightened experience of working with our thoughts and emotions can open a beautiful new world, once we get used to the idea.
I worked hard to grow and it took conscious effort to do it. I had to understand what feelings I had about myself were doing to alter my reality. I understood that the automatic non-verbal feelings I had were what created the theme to my story. In order to create with intent, I had to understand how to rewrite these themes.
“To love and be loved in return” real love is the best resource for growth.
Real Beauty
There are all kinds of people out there, that want to go from sickness to wellness, from a bad relationship to a better relationship, from confusion to clarity that haven’t been able to map out exactly where to go, or what to do to make those journeys possible. When we want to go somewhere new, it is nice to have the all the directions and information we need to get to where we want to go.
Creating is about more than having a desire. To have the healing, love or clarity we want, we must understand how to gently find and remove the blocks and barriers within ourselves that are built against creating what we desire.
On our journey we go to the See Your Beauty workshop and we gently and lovingly remove the blocks and barriers we have. We open our heart, feel lovable, beautiful, powerful, more ourselves, alive, uninhibited, authentic, creative, loving, present and soon we have such clarity, we discover it was opening our heart that set us free.
The See Your Beauty workshop is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between travelers on the same path or journey. When we are able to be present with our own blocks and barriers, we are able to be present with a fellow traveler as they remove their own barriers.
People say, “Someone has to be ready to grow.” I have found, we are all ready for “growth” when it is enjoyable, wonderful and real. People do understand they should be loving to themselves, they do not understand how to rewrite the conditioning that created the barrier that prevented them from feeling love for themselves all the time.
See Your Beauty, is about much more than our appearance; it can be about removing shame, removing insecurities, removing inhibitions, removing reactions that create stress or discomfort for us and rewriting our body image, too. The exercises we use in this workshop will rewrite non-verbal information in our brain to give us a lasting enhancement in clarity. Loving ourselves in this way gently removes the blocks and barriers we have to allow us to be loved. accept healing, and create.
The lasting enhancement in clarity we receive from the workshop will enable us to see our beauty in the eyes of others, see love in their eyes and see our own beauty when we look in the mirror.
We bring flowers when something beautiful happens inside of us. Our heart opens and we see only the beauty that already exists. Beauty is in us, all we do is open our heart, the world mirrors us.
Letting our inner child out
How do we become more ourselves and alive?
Have we ever had a dream where someone or something is chasing us and we are unable to see what or who it is?
We want to run in those dreams but the same dream can give us a feeling we are unable to move.
What is chasing us and what is holding us from moving forward?
There is something we may not be able to see…it is the same problem the Tin Man, the Lion and the Scarecrow had….and it can create nightmares for the child within us.
I am sure we have all rewarded ourselves when we accomplished something others admire. We feel more alive because we have been conditioned to give ourselves a chemical reward for the accomplishment.
How can we find what we like if we only receive chemical rewards for the things we have been conditioned to do?
If there is no reward for us opening our heart to find what would feel wonderful for us, how can we have the courage, brains or heart to create wonderful dreams asleep or awake?
Can we reward ourselves for things that would make us proud, even if they are not something we have rewarded ourselves for in the past?
We can create chemical rewards and rewrite our conditioning so we get the same “feeling of aliveness and pride” we got from doing what someone else wanted us to do. We can reward ourselves for our creativity in the same way we would for finishing a project, getting a good grade, hearing a “job well done”, hearing applause, having someone admire us that is an “authority” figure or from getting a diploma, a medal or a watch…
In the Wizard of Oz the Scarecrow has stopped thinking, the Lion has lost courage, the Tin-man has lost heart and all because they do not know how to reward the child within.
There is a child within all of us. We are that child’s parent now. What is our excuse for not rewarding ourselves for being who we are?
How we reward ourselves is automatic.
Let us examine what we are feeling chemical rewards from…
We may have learned to respect authority figures more than our own judgement. If we feel more alive when a stranger admires us than when we look in the mirror, we may have become admiration based and not love based.
Looking for admiration may be the only time we give chemical rewards and this is hard for us…particularly when there are few of these rewards as we create our own business or are in management, there is more criticism and less praise as we excel.
We can condition ourselves to give automatic chemical rewards because of love.
Want you to try something? This is a “love based chemical reward” exercise.
It gives one the experience of loving their inner child. To begin, I want you to be proud of your inner child for directing you to something that made you happy. This is just a practice exercise.
Do you remember the last time you indulged in play? Have you played with bubbles, had a food fight, gone to get a massage, brought flowers home, went to a funny movie or just walked along the beach in the rain lately? If you remember something that made you happy, created art or heard music ….anything at all…. lets go to the next step.
Completely relax. Breathe deeply and as you slowly exhale let go in your face, now your head, now your neck, let your shoulders completely drop…. breathe deeply, exhale and relax all over.
Now remember the best feeling of reward or aliveness you have ever experienced in your body. The feeling of aliveness and excitement can be from anything, let go of the thought about what created the feeling and just feel the experience of the feeling all over. Take some deep breaths and allow the feeling to wash over your body and through every part of you. When you feel wonderful….
…….give it to the child within you. Walk slowly towards a mirror and with each step feel the wonderful feeling as it grows stronger, breathe deeply and ……as you open your eyes see the child within and feel good.
The child within deserves the reward of this chemistry because we love them/yourself for being happy in this life….its not so easy all the time…but it is important to feel alive and happy.
It is amazing how much more we are ourselves when the rewards we give ourselves automatically make us feel wonderful about ourselves.
The nucleus accumbens, the brains reward system, as well as the frontal lobe are much less active when we only reward ourselves for being admired. If we reward ourselves instead of just waiting to get it from others, we have much more activity going on in the reward system of our brain.
There are times we all have sadness or failure.
The same things the Wizard of Oz gave, self confidence, courage and the capacity to love are something we can give ourselves.
If we want to become who we were meant to be, we must have the ability to reward ourselves, not look for the Wizard of Oz to do it.
Every relationship can give us an opportunity to have a better relationship with ourselves.
Loving yourself and rewarding yourself for doing that, creates incredible relationships.
Love <3
Being a great parent.
I had an abusive father. I forgave him because he was in a concentration camp.
I had some “lower vibrations”, reactions and self perceptions that would create discomfort in my body in some situations. There were times I just felt irritable, upset or was not happy about playing.
I knew someday I would be a parent as well so I wanted to remove these problems. I did a lot of things to find something that worked.
Many things made my problems worse, going back in my memories through psychotherapy was one that made things worse. Each time we visit a memory, we re-record the memory. I was going back to find the cause of my problems. I would try to feel feelings I had during situations where “I was so frightened, I pushed my feelings aside” in my early childhood. When I would visit the memory I would add whatever feeling I imagined I was supposed to have at the time that was repressed and not released. Most of the time, I was taking an old memory and adding strong new emotions. If these old memories were that influential, adding powerful emotions of fear, sadness, loss, grief and anger would have made more problems.
What was causing my problems was, I was bringing the feelings of a small helpless hurt child, that had little control of their life to my current reality. These small helpless child feelings were added to how I felt about myself now. I was feeling these emotions after the psychotherapy sessions and they added color to everything I saw. I had the self perception of a little frightened boy and the more I did that the more I was creating problems.
The good thing was I could see how our perceptions could change our reality. My problem was I was feeling like a frightened little boy somewhere inside already. How could I remove the feeling I had?
How can we remove the bad feelings we have? Neuroscientist Joseph LeDoux says:
Joseph continues, “People tend to think that our memories are just sitting in our brains, like some sort of file in a computer hard drive. But researchers now say that’s all wrong. Our memories aren’t static, they’re constantly changing, because each time we recall a memory, we rebuild it from scratch.”
I contend it is something different than “memories” that create our reactions. I believe we learned reactions in a different way than we learned memories. We may have memories that happened at the same time we were learning to have the reaction but it is not necessary to have the memory come up to work on the reaction. We have most of our reactions because of our conditioning.
We do have to bring up the file that holds the conditioning in it, to change the contents of the file but we can do this with the conditioning as it presents itself in the here and now.
The conditioning may have been created by a “lower vibration” and in the way we would bring a “higher vibration to the lower vibration to heal it”, we will do the same and I will tell you how down the page a bit.
In experiments, a class of students was asked to nod and smile if their instructor went to the left and shake their head “no” and frown if their instructor went to the right. In just a few minutes in most cases, the instructor would have his left shoulder on the left wall for the entire lecture. When asked why the instructor put his shoulder on the wall, they would say it was because they wanted to. When the instructor was told of the experiment they would argue and not accept that they were so easily conditioned.
I was not only hurt by my father by his behavior, I was conditioned to be like him.
I understand no one that has been abused wants to be like their abuser. This is not a decision we choose to make.
In the previous blog I wrote, “It is not what we are looking at but what we see that matters.” I also wrote, “When we are ready… what we are looking for, we will see it.”
Congratulations, this was not an accident, we are both here because it was something we were destined to do when we chose to bring in the light.
Most conditioning is just preparing us. The conditioning we received from an abusive parent is preparing us, for them.
This automatic preparation usually happens to us as we come home.
Much like a buzzer before a shock to a mouse as they are being conditioned, coming home to an abusive parent or having our parent come home, is what we automatically prepare for.
If we do feel irritable when we are home, it is because the preparation the conditioning creates in our body is making us guard and tighten automatically. This is much of the cause of depression, fear, irritability, stress and aches and pains.
Because of the conditioning from an old erroneous fear, we automatically may feel difficulty relaxing. We are this way now, while we are home with the people we love.
That is why our parents were irritable too.
Why can’t we just stop this feeling of irritability with good feelings?
Because our brains are designed to stop introspection and focus on threats when we feel fear, we are unable to be self-examining when we feel fear. The second reason is because there is no real fear, people are not looking for the signs of fear in their body, just being home.
Striking changes happen in the brains of people that experience fear. The first response we have to fear is a change that could help us find a solution to a problem. Our brain raises our heartbeat and prepares us by shutting down our midbrain, sharpening our brains attention to help it look for threats.During this process, much like an animal that is frozen still, we are only looking outside of ourselves to find what has created this fear. Our sophisticated brain is unable to look inwards to see if we are the cause, all the intellect we have is focused on finding a real or even imagined cause for the fear.
Because of conditioning and the fear it creates, our brains can be prone to misfiring when we are focused outside of ourselves looking for the cause of our fears.
Our amygdala and periaqueductal grey parts of our brain are ancient and date back hundreds of millions of years. This system developed to keep us safe.
This is why, no matter how much we love someone, we are unable to over-ride the irritability with something better at the time we are experiencing this deep old powerful energy. I have heard many people have justifications for their anger and it was because this old conditioning altered their perceptions.
Yesterday I wrote, “Dominant vibrations that over-ride any other vibration we have, alter our thoughts. Our thoughts become an afterthought to support these dominant vibrations. Dominant vibrations can over-ride the beliefs or other vibrations we have, our perceptions are shaped by these as well.”
We have all had pain. It is time for us to let go of the justification for things we have had no control of.
As we choose to not just look but see, the most important step, is to see that we are our own parent now.
The child within us wants to play, be loud, create a mess or do things just to experience them. If our parent was not able to have fun and be happy at home, chances are this is true about us as well.
We can do two things at once. We can remove the conditioning of fear we feel in our body as guarding that will make us feel irritable when children play and….let our inner child have a little fun and play at the same time!
We must find a way to play. It may be hard to find something we like but we must do something for fun and then, we must reward ourselves. This is a beginning. We must reward just having fun as much as we can. The reward we give ourselves for having fun should be a similar feeling to the one we give ourselves for accomplishing something others admire, we should allow ourselves to feel more alive and uninhibited.
The next step is to play at home and enjoy ourselves, this may be hard but it is essential. It can be anything that we like as a hobby or would be just fun to do but it should be something we actively do.
The last step is to rewrite or remove the conditioning we have that makes us irritable with children or loved ones. We want to be our inner child and play with the people we love. If we can we want to be the same age as our children and join them in what they do. This will re-parent us and recondition the way we feel about ourselves when we are with our children.
We want to play with the adults we love as our inner child of any age and enjoy wonderful mysteries adults can explore that make us happy. When we feel a childlike love with no irritability, that is recorded in our home, it will give us new and more relevant conditioning for us to have reactions with. When we play and have fun, the automatic preparation we have in our body will give us a chemistry of wonderful feelings, hormones and brain stimulants that are exceptionally healing and healthy for us.
I wanted to tell you this because I had to learn how to love myself this way, even though my mother loved me, I still had conditioning that was not allowing me to be free.
My son means the world to me. I am sure your children are the love and joy of your life, as well.
I hope this helps make loving ourselves and our children, fun.
I dedicate this to my Mother and Grandmother.
I love you.
How do I know when I am creating crap?
How do I know when my energy is creating crap?
Today another in the series of stories about how great people can create shit for themselves and not know what is going on.
As always, people write about their problems and I give them a solution.
The “secret” to helping people?
1) People that have problems are seldom checking how they “feel” inside of their body.
2) Feeling bad in our body can create an energy that creates crap.
3) Taking responsibility for how we feel in our body is important.
4) Understanding how to rewrite how we feel inside our body before we enter a situation, can change our energy and what happens in the situation in the future.
We have more power than we know.
The story this week, (the names have been changed to protect the innocent).
Jim came to me and asked me to help him and his wife. Jim said his wife did things to sabotage him. He said Leslie was always angry with him. Jim added that his wife was so upset and distant they only fought and she recently told him she was thinking of moving out.
Leslie, Jim’s wife, told me Jim came home in a foul mood and would bark at her and the kids. Leslie said they feared Jim and did not know what to do.
Solution:
I told Jim to park the car in the driveway and before he went in the house honk the horn and then do an exercise. The exercise was to relax all over his body from head to toe while breathing deeply. The next step was, to remember how he felt in his body on his honeymoon and create that feeling, the feeling he had about how beautiful and wonderful he was, in his body again. The next step was for him to remember how he felt in his body when he was with his wife on their honeymoon. I told him to feel more and more relaxed in his body with each breathe and when he felt wonderful to get out of the car. Last I told him as he walked towards the front door to breathe deeply and feel loved and desired inside his body, when he felt how lovable he was in his body, to go in the door and find his wife.
I told Leslie that when she heard Jim’s car horn honk, to just relax and breathe deeply. Relax from head to toe completely so she felt wonderful in her body. I told her to remember how she felt in her body when she was walking down the aisle, on her wedding day. I told Leslie to create the feeling she had in her body once again as she felt so beautiful, to feel special, strong, desirable, sexy and alive. Last I told her to remember how she felt in her body when Jim looked at her on the altar and when he carried her across the threshold and to create that feeling in her body more and more as she took longer and deeper breathes. I told Leslie to stay in bed and keep feeling this in her body and to enjoy the feeling in her body.
I told them both to do this exercise every day for a week. In three days they called me and told me they were on their honeymoon again every night.
Jim called me a month later and thanked me, he said they were happier than ever, they were both very much in love. Jim said he was bringing flowers home and loving it.
Jim asked me why they were having problems before and I said “who gives a shit, you won’t anymore.”
To be continued in the next blog….
How do I know if I have a bad energy?
Welcome back to more about how to understand if we are creating crap.
I myself create crap from time to time and I am able to catch it quickly because I do the following.
1) I check how I am feeling all over my body. I breath deeply and move my head, my neck, my shoulders and see if I am tight. Then I feel how I feel in my tummy and all over. I make sure I am feeling good everywhere.
I am checking how I feel in my body every few minutes sometimes. If I am with lots of people or if I am in new situations. I do self checks a lot when I may be automatically preparing to protect myself. Breathing deeply and relaxing, is part of the self check and if I am tight when I am breathing deeply I go to the next step.
2) If I feel something does not feel great, my neck, shoulders or stomach, I stop and relax and take some deep breathes and bring in the good feelings I want to have in my body. I do this exercise for a few minutes and I can listen to someone as they talk to me while I do the exercise. Most of the time the person near me relaxes as I relax.
3) How our body feels is a better barometer of what is happening inside our non-verbal brain than our thoughts or ideas.
Our ideas and thoughts may be an afterthought to a reaction that has us creating crap and we may be caught up in the drama of what our energy creates.
4) After I feel better in my body physically, I allow myself to feel handsome, fun and proud as well.
Just as floating in a pool of water will create a different reality than struggling, I feel that relaxing and feeling good in my body when I am in complex situations, gives me the feeling I am supported just as though I was floating. I am able to create a better reality.
How can I do something to be sure I won’t create a bad energy in advance?
1) The biggest secret to rewriting conditioning is to rewrite the preparation for something.
a) Before we look in the mirror, we can feel relaxed in our body, we can add the feeling we are beautiful all over, we can feel proud of ourselves and who we are….then we go to the mirror and what happens? We add the value and meaning of what we feel in our body to what we see.
It’s simple you feel beautiful and THEN look in the mirror and you add the value and meaning of how you are already feeling to the picture, the feeling we have is added to any picture we see and most people do not understand this.
The preparation for something is when conditioning is added. We know we are going to look in the mirror and the feeling we have about our self is pre-loaded before we see our self. What we see has nothing to do with appearance, it is just a feeling added to a picture and we could decide what feeling we want to add.
b) When we have a new value and meaning that is added to our picture, we have the ability to rewrite how we see ourselves, permanently.
c) What is important about understanding how to rewrite something PERMANENTLY, is for the next six hours after we rewrite the value and meaning we add to how we feel about ourselves in a situation, we have to keep hold of that feeling until the window shuts six hours later and the new conditioning is ours for good.
Simple, you have it!
Back to the previous story from last time. What happened when Jim and Leslie heard the car horn and then meditated so they felt good in their bodies?
Many people do not realize, they work hard all day, get tense in their body, come home and when they relax they suddenly feel the tension, aches, pains and maybe headache that comes from an entire day of work.
If people are used to numbing the pain they have, putting it out of their mind, instead of doing something to relax and feel better, they can create an energy that creates crap.
Over time people do not enjoy walking in the front door as much and do not feel romantic about having time together, this is a conditioned response.
When the horn was honked and the couple felt relaxed, beautiful and lovable in their body, they rewrote the conditioning that prepared them. When Jim walked through the front door and saw his wife, they enjoyed seeing each other and experienced what life could be.
After having a good experience of coming home to each other a few times, the new conditioning gave them more wonderful experiences.
Just as floating is just the beginning of the fun we have in the water, rewriting any preparation, will give us more and more over time.
I changed my reality
I have to take responsibility for my energy. My energy has created some wonderful and terrible things.
My father was in a concentration camp, a work camp in Poland for seven years. My father hid the feeling he was victimized from himself but I had empathy for my father so I felt the way he felt inside and emulated the way he felt about himself in relationship to others.
My father would say “I forgave the Nazi’s a long time ago.” but when he was vulnerable, I felt him tighten in his body, he looked at me, pupils dilated with a face that was hollow, ash and cold.
“My tongue was like shoe leather. They would take us out and line us up against the wall”. “I saw a man put his hands on top of mine, they were larger hands that covered my hands. The man whispered in my ear, When I grab your hands, fall with me. The man winced and kissed my neck. We fell and I stayed on the ground under him until long after dark.”
When I saw a bully as a kid. I beat the hell out of him. I beat kids bloody twice my age.
I was too old to fight but too young to understand. I was in Chiropractic college, I had straight A’s and my scores were in the top five in my class.
A new semester began and J.G. Anderson, my new professor got up in front of the class. He stood there quietly staring at us. “I want you students to know something about me. I was in the military in WWII and I was in charge of a group of epileptics in a secretarial pool. I told them, just as I am telling you…I will not tolerate a person being late, falling short of the work that is expected and most of all for falling asleep under any circumstances.”
J.G Anderson smiled, “I had to give many injections of drugs that would cause seizures, do you know what happens to an epileptic that has medication to create seizures injected? They have seizures so hard they break their teeth! (he laughed). They learned.”
Many students laughed with him. I understood their deference was from fear but it took them and they were gone.
I always sat in the front of the class. Every day J.G. Anderson came into class, stared at us and then spent the next fifteen to thirty minutes drawing on the board. It was summer in Glendale California.
There were sixty of us in a classroom in a very old building with no air conditioning or fans.
Even though I was only nineteen years old, I worked as a bouncer in a nightclub in Pasadena till two A.M.. I only had time to get five hours of sleep at night.
When J.G. Anderson came in and started drawing I would fall asleep like I was hit with a hammer. I would wake up with J.G. glaring at me. Many times he said, “I will ruin your life!”
I was sure I was the victim. I was a wonderful healer and people adored me because I cared so much. I was unable to see what my role was in this.
How could I change my role when I did not see that I was writing my script? My reactions and emotions became an energy that could create a reality I would live in.
I felt that my reactions were valid. It is very hard to see what we bring, let me explain why. How our brain works, is to look outside of us, when we are in fear or reacting to an affect created by fear, we are much like a small animal that is frightened. A small frightened animal remains still and looks out to see what is creating their fear and what they can do.. At this time the brain turns off our ability to be introspective, so we can focus all of our attention on what we believe is creating our reaction.
When I was calm I could see that my energy was at least in part creating some of my reality.
I decided to do everything I could to create as much good energy as I could. I was like a guy that was very attractive and well dressed but people told, “You have toilet paper stuck to your shoe!” The problem was I couldn’t see the toilet paper myself.
I decided I wanted to create more great energy, perhaps there would be less chance to have a reaction that was negative. I thought, “I will spend more time working on what is beautiful about me and I will be fine.” I was already more than wonderful enough…
Later I realized I had become phoney trying to be good all the time and people said that I was not funny anymore, I was watching my words and thoughts so much I was not really myself.
I tried to be more authentic by just accepting my faults. When I was negative I still felt my reactions were appropriate, I became a very nice person that sometimes was O.K. having other people tell him there was toilet paper on his shoe.
It was amazing what a big deal the toilet paper was to people.When I cared about someone and felt them sad because of me enough times, I finally decided I should fix this no matter if it did take real work.
I owned my energy and took responsibility for what it was creating but was not sure what that meant.
I spent years looking at my early experiences trying to understand who I was and why I had a need to have the reactions I did. Maybe some information would help me understand and I could decide to be different. The work did not stop me from having the same reactions, even when I could see that I was.
I took the time to feel what was happening in my body. I could feel that there were times my body was prepared for a fight and I realized that the preparation was what created my energy.
I remembered that I had been teaching others to prepare for situations differently in the body, so they would not have chronic pain. These exercises helped them to quickly have permanent relief. They also told me it changed their lives for the better.
I decided to use the exercises I developed for others, on myself to help me re-write the conditioning I had that created my reactions. In a few days I was without the reactions. I had a new self perception and experience to go with it as well.
My energy changed my reality. My energy or intent, is not just what I think, it’s who I am and how I experience things.
I stopped being a victim. I am able to be calm and assertive. I have a wonderful life now, no more toilet paper on my shoe!
The important thing I understand now is how much we change our reality. My reality was changed by my energy. It may be hard to know how important our energy is but think of it this way….other people that were at the receiving end of my energy would say my energy and my intent were the same. No matter what I was “thinking” I wanted to have happen, my energy was my intent. My intent created a reality that matched my energy.
I worked on myself and I changed my reality. I removed the fear I did not even know I had.
When we wake up and feel better, we can look back and understand the feeling we had created the nightmare.
No more reason to fear love
The secret is out…how we change reality in relationships.
Relationships that people do not care about seem to have fewer problems than relationships with people that are very deeply in love. Today we are going to change reality. We are going to understand why people in love have a harder time in relationships and then understand how to fix the problem so that love will give us what we want. Help me change reality, so that having all the passion, romance and love we desire, is simply not a problem for us anymore.
Some people only have problems when they are in love. They feel fear and they get angry or run, people want to be loved and love but are afraid.
The reason people are having problems when they are in love is simple. The problem is because of the way our brain works. Let us look at how our brain works to create our problems in love and then we can discuss the cure afterward.
When people ask me what makes a relationship work, I always tell them “the secret” is the magic we have when we enjoy ourselves and do not have fear.
When we are in love, we can have a feeling much like floating in a pool, where we enjoy the experience of the relationship and as the water would lift us, the relationship supports us and we are lifted to a new experience that adds to our life. When we are in love we can also have a feeling of fear, the fear creates a struggle for us and we feel the relationship makes us stressed.
There are few things that make us feel this much fear, since we have not been prey for animals for a long time.
Striking changes happen in the brains of people that experience fear. The first response we have to fear is a change that could help us find a solution to a problem. Our brain raises our heartbeat and prepares us by shutting down our midbrain, sharpening our brains attention to help it look for threats.During this process, much like an animal that is frozen still, we are only looking outside of ourselves to find what has created this fear. Our sophisticated brain is unable to look inwards to see if we are the cause, all the intellect we have is focused on finding a real or even imagined cause for the fear.
Because of conditioning and the fear it creates, our brains can be prone to misfiring when we are focused outside of ourselves looking for the cause of our fears. This is particularly true about love, I have watched people in love quickly destroy a relationship over some small issue and see them later with someone that was abusive to them without noticing it.
A group of monkeys were conditioned by getting hosed with cold water when even one of them tried to go up a ladder to get bananas. All of the monkeys were then conditioned so well they would stop another monkey that tried to go up the ladder. The next step was to remove one of the conditioned monkeys and replace it with a monkey that was not conditioned. When the monkey went for the bananas the other monkeys stopped it, conditioning it to be afraid to go near the ladder.
One by one the monkeys conditioned with the hose were removed and replaced by a new monkey the group conditioned. the group would condition the new monkey by themselves even though they were not getting sprayed with a hose. This went on until there were none of the originally conditioned monkeys left. They passed down conditioning to not go on a ladder in the same way people that have been conditioned to fear love pass down their conditioning.
Because our brains are designed to stop introspection and focus on threats when we feel fear, the thoughts we have that are an afterthought to fear could focus on threats that are only imagined and create more fear because we are unable to be self-examining at this time.
The next or second response is as we feel more fear from a real or imagined threat, the forebrains grip on the midbrain loosens. Now the midbrain becomes active, orchestrating quick responses that are fight or flight. This amount of fear shuts down our slower and more deliberative forebrain, where we have been thinking much more than we normally do. This is no time for thinking, we now get in an argument or leave.
If we have had a problem because of fear we felt when we were in love and we either fought with someone or ran, that is normally what our brain would do. It is not possible to change the process unless we remove the conditioning.
If words could create conditioning I am sure they could remove conditioning but that is not how we work. Our amygdala and periaqueductal grey parts of our brain are ancient and date back hundreds of millions of years. This system developed to keep us safe. There are ways here at Cerebrology to rewrite all of this conditioning quickly and easily, so now you understand what the cure is.
We are not in real danger feeling vulnerable when we feel love, if we have been conditioned this way, our brain is going to react as if there was a real danger for us. If we are going to change reality, only removing this conditioning can change the automatic reaction and response.
What makes a relationship work? If we were learning to float in a pool, as we relaxed deeply enough to open our lungs and have enough air to float, we would be automatically using a natural process of re-conditioning that takes place all the time as we learn any physical skill.
Because of the conditioning we receive from parents before we are even verbal, which is called affect, many people have conditioned fears about love. The way our brain works is to focus “outside” of us when we initially feel fear, to look for the cause, if the cause is from conditioning we will not be able to recognize that… because our brain will not be able to look inside when it is afraid, it does not work that way it is protecting us. The protection system of the brain is the same as in animals and is in control of directing our thoughts. Even if the fear is imagined we feel it and will find that the person we feel fear around is the cause.When we feel enough fear we stop thinking and either fight or run.
Our feeling about being in love is the same as learning to float in a pool. We rewrite the preparation that creates the fear, so we can breathe deeply, relax and experience the new perceptions we have. The struggle is gone and we can be safe no matter how deep we go in.
There are exercises here at Cerebrology that use natural techniques to give us a great feeling about love in much the same way learning to float gives us a great feeling about the water.
There is no real need to feel fear about love any more than a need to fear being in a pool. I hope you enjoy the exercises we have available to remove the conditioning that creates fear about love permanently. Together we can change reality.
Cerebrology has brain enhancements
To be a professional athlete one must practice doing things correctly, so the reactions are automatic.
Professional athletes practice their skills so much they are able to see the ball much better and they can have the reactions they want to have happen automatically.
Because of this practice, an athlete can think much more clearly during a crucial situation. In fact a professional athlete can think about many things all very calmly as they react to a situation they have practiced.
I have heard the term “muscle memory” attributed to what happens that allows an athlete to react in a way that is exactly what they practiced. It is an automatic reaction that does have something to do with our muscles because of the way we learned it.
Something comes into our vision and then comes thru the pre-motor pathway of our brain, allowing us to feel it as we see it.
All of the ways we learn to have a feeling about how we should relate to something are of this nature, we see someone do something and we feel it in our body, then we are able to experience the feeling as we do it.
It has been proven that people can grow muscle and even improve their game watching sports.
As we then spend some time making the imagined experience a real one for us by practicing the good habits we watched, it becomes a part of us, we do not have to think about it.
All things in life are similar, sports, dancing or even social situations are all about how we automatically react and better experiences are from practicing something correctly.
All sports are won or lost because of the preparation. I have heard boxers say, “I know what happens in the ring is all about what happened in the gym the last four months, its too late if I have to learn in action.”
I hope you have not had the experience of having a bad coach. A bad coach is someone that has not prepared us so that what we are about to do has become automatic. Instead the bad coach tells us what to “think” during the event.
If we want to have wonderful natural reactions to life’s situations, we want to include Cerebrology in our life. Cerebrology is training our body just as we would in any sport to have the type of “muscle memory” that will make us successful.
I was telling someone about how some people do not realize until they experience relaxing in the water, how wonderful and supported they are by the water when they relax enough to open their lungs deeply and breathe enough air to be lighted up and carried by the water. When we learn this “muscle memory” of relaxing and being supported, we relax and stop our struggle not just in the water but everywhere.
The important thing for most of us is not how we react in sports but how we react to all the little things in life.
Cerebrology is for those of us that want to be more ourselves and present and not examine our thoughts, just be real and have fun.
How does our brain effect reality, what are examples in physics
What is the real secret? Cerebrology can enhance our intent; our intent is an automatic non-verbal part of us.
You may think of intent as who we are or our soul. Other verbal or non-verbal enhancements we may do are only temporary because they are not stored in the permanent files our brain automatically uses and so they do not affect our intent.
When you read my blog called “What Controls our Brain“, I am sure you saw that the non-verbal part of our brain, where our intent is located, controlled how we automatically prepared, which in turn altered our perception, reactions, emotions and body. In this blog was also an experiment that showed that up to 7 seconds before we “think” we make a decision to use our left or right hand to touch something our non-verbal brain and its “intent” has already made the decision. This shows that our thoughts are a mere afterthought to our intent.
Because Cerebrology opens and rewrites non-verbal information we use in specific files that produce what becomes our intent, we are able to create improvements in what happens. Some people have called the results from brain enhancement metaphysics but it is just brain enhancement and physics.
In his article, “Heart Rate Differences between Targets and Nontargets in Intuitive Tasks” Tressoldi reports the results of two experiments, aimed at investigating pre-stimuli heart rate changes. In the experiment a statistical significance (error risk) of p=0,015 was obtained while in the second experiment p reached 0,001. These results support the hypothesis that the heart rate reacts before the stimulus takes place (Tressoldi and coll., 2005).
In 2003, Spottiswoodie and May in Cognitive Science Laboratory replicated the Biermnan and Radin (1997) experiments that show an increase in skin conductance 2-3 seconds before emotional stimuli are presented. Spottiswoodie and May replicated these results with a statistical significance of p=0, 0005, and performed controls in order to exclude all possible artifacts and alternate explanations. These results support the hypothesis that the autonomic nervous system reacts in advance to stimuli (Spottiswoodie and May 2003).
In 1979 the PEAR (Princeton Engineering Anomalies Research) laboratory was established under the direction of Robert Jahn, Dean of the University’s School of Engineering and Applied Sciences. The purpose of this laboratory was to replicate and study the results obtained by a student, which showed anomalous mind/machine interactions when using REG systems (Random Event Generator). PEAR and a consortium of other universities have replicated these results. The anomalous mind/machine interaction which is observed is very simple: REG systems produce ultra-precise Gaussian distributions, but when a subject tries to distort these distributions only by the expression of his intentionality, statistically significant deviations are observed. Even more fascinating is the fact that those distributions which have been produced before the subjects expression of intentionality show an amplified effect. The statistical significance of these amplifications is p<0,00000001 (Jahn, 2005). These experiments show that living systems constantly seem to be engaged in anticipation and show that intent can influence matter.
I look forward to more discussions of how our brain automatically changes our reality. Thank you for joining me.
How much does fear alter our relationships?
Learning how we automatically create our unique experience and story, has to include how we change our reality.
What happens in our brain alters how we experience ourselves, this changes our “frequency” and we create a different reality.
Let me give you an example of someone that would automatically change the way he experienced himself and would instantly change his reality when he did.
I recently had an old acquaintance over, lets call him Greg (not his real name it is Ted j/k). Greg is someone that is and has been very involved in his spiritual and personal growth for a long time, he even likes to write affirmations.
Greg told me that he had grown a lot since I last saw him. Greg said, “I just went thru a divorce and I learned a lot about myself. I can say goodby to what was my past because I was honest with myself and took responsibility for being with women that created problems for me.”
Greg said he had been in psychological counseling for quite a while and after the divorce he realized that his problems with women were because of an aunt that was very bossy.
“Greg how often did you see this aunt?”
“Not much but when the counselor asked me to remember the first time I felt the “feeling that I could not stand being around a woman”, I remembered it was because of my aunt.”
“So your first memory of this feeling was with your aunt and you were not around her much?”
“Yes, I just saw my aunt a few times but the memory of the feeling was there.”
“You told me in the past your father was wonderful to strangers and was horrible to your mother, sister and yourself. Do you remember telling me how your father would get away from your mom as much as he could and yell at her the rest of the time?”
Greg replied “Yes I remember.”
“Is it possible Greg, that you might have been conditioned from being around your father when he was abusive to your mother and apathetic about making her happy. Greg is it possible you empathized and emulated your fathers feelings? Is it possible you felt the way your father did, when you were with your aunt?”
“No Bob, I do not feel I could be like my father, I hate him.”
“Greg when you are with the women that you have this feeling with, do you feel as though you are up to your neck in water and you are struggling, so you have to get out or away?”
“Yes.” Greg said.
“Do you feel you need to leave them or yell to get control so you can stop the feeling?”
“Yes” Greg said.
I then told Greg that I had exercises that could remove conditioning. “Just as we struggled with the water before we learned to float and can relax and enjoy the water now, you can learn to relax and float in a relationship and enjoy it.”
Greg said, “That would be great for someone that had problems Bob. I had problems because of the type of women I chose to be with and I am happy to say my problems are gone now that I have forgiven my aunt!”
Greg added, “When one door shuts, another door opens. If someone loves you they accept you as you are. Real love is not about expectations but about respecting me for who I am.”
I asked Greg, “Greg why do you think the women you have been with in relationships were upset with you and why did they leave you?”
Greg said, “I know most women trade sex for feeling wanted. I am going to find women that are not all about expectations. I am looking forward not backward Bob.”
I told Greg, “I wonder if some people think they can only have an experience of intimacy when they feel they have control in a relationship? Greg you know the person that cares the least controls the relationship, right?”
Greg smiled and left.
The conditioning people have can prevent them from having intimacy. It does not allow them to have a wonderful relationship.
Greg is living out a story that was written for him by many generations of fear being passed down.
In a world that does not experience loving and being loved, the reality is altered to… “controlling or being controlled” and love does not live there.
I see people wandering empty inside just trying to feel good about who they are, afraid to have something real.
I have exercises that remove the darkness of the conditioning that alters a persons reality so that they are not able to feel the joy of loving and being loved, permanently. The exercises are free.
What controls our brain?
We like to think what we do is under control of our thoughts…but what really controls our brain?
We first develop empathy and through this we learn many things including the ability to understand facial expression.
It would be nice to enhance our brain so we could control how we automatically felt..
What if we could!
What is real growth?
If we can automatically feel better about ourselves when we wear something new, how can we create a feeling like wearing a new outfit that is automatic and is lasting as well?
What creates the automatic adjustments in the lens we use to view everything?
The special challenge I had when I was looking for something to help me with my personal growth was that I believed if the growth I was getting was real, it would help me with my reactions and improve my self-perceptions.
I wanted growth that was inside of me, I wanted to be myself and not have to stop and think to be a better person.
I wanted to feel handsome all the time and be able to see that in the eyes of those looking at me, without having to be concerned about my appearance. I wanted my inner beauty to be something I could see as well.
I wanted to be good to the people that cared about me. I wanted to be present and calm when there were stressful situations not just when it was easy to be that way. The times I had problems were times that I had reactions that took over my thoughts.
Reactions and perceptions are so powerful they command our thoughts and like a nightmare, the feeling we have alters us and our ideas. If we wake up from a nightmare and someone tells us, “that was just a dream” it still feels real. When we feel differently later on, we can see it was just a dream easily.
The same part of our brain that creates our nightmares, also alters the lens we use to give us our perceptions. The same information in this part of our brain that is creating nightmares, is also the fuel for our reactions. This automatic part of us can have fears or perceptions that are erroneous.
The Dalai Lama said, “Eliminate the negative or dark forces from our emotions and there is enlightenment.”
What can change the meaning and value of what we see, are the automatic tunings or adjustments that happen to the lens we use to view everything.
The lens we use gives us the perceptions we have. We all have our own unique way of experiencing others, the world and ourselves.
How we instantly and automatically prepare, tunes or controls the lens we use.
The information that directs our preparations tells us when we should react (another way we prepare), it creates the mood we are in (another way we are prepared), it tells us how we should feel about ourselves and our appearance in relation to our situation (another way we prepare), it controls how guarded or tense we are in our body (another way we prepare), the emotions and feelings we have (another way we prepare) and all of these influence the lens we use.
This is information we learned primarily before we were verbal. We learned it emulating what we empathized (pre-motor pathway). This is something we saw and felt our parents do as they prepared for all the situations they were in.
If we were able to make permanent improvements in the information that created our preparations, we could improve how we feel about our appearance and the improvement would automatically happen, we would have the same feeling we did with a new outfit on and that wonderful feeling about how beautiful or handsome we were would be lasting.
We could also eliminate reactions that we did not want to have. We could stop being jealous.
We could alter the amount of reward we automatically gave ourselves and what feeling we wanted that reward to be, so we could unconditionally love ourselves automatically and when we loved ourselves that way we could easily do that for others as well.
The preparations we have that are automatically happening to us, are altering the lens we use to give us our perception of our self and as we bring clarity to the lens we see not just our own beauty but the beauty in others as well.
When we are able to add meaning to what we see by choice, we can see the beauty within.
When we have information in our operating system that creates good feelings automatically for us before we look in the mirror… we see our own beauty when we look at ourselves and we experience an automatic clarity that allows us to see the beauty in others.
How we experience something is more important than what we think about it because the way we experience ourselves or someone else, can give us options of better experiences.
Enlightenment is removing the darkness to revel our light. Everything is illuminated from within.
A little light can remove a lot of darkness. Please recommend this to others.
The Wizard of Oz gave people the most valuable thing of all, he gave them what was missing so they could be more themselves.
I want to give what is missing so we can be more ourselves as well.
I would love to share this exercise, it helped me to add something that was missing so I could be more myself and have real growth. There are many more exercises like this on this website. Please enjoy them.
What prevents me from unconditionally loving myself?
Click on the above exercise.
Unconditionally loving myself.
Click on the above exercise.
Healing ourselves and others with Cerebrology
If you are a healer of any kind, I would be glad to help you learn this new science and system of Cerebrology.
There are new discoveries that improve how we live. These advancements are happening faster all the time, the internet, software, apps for our phone.
The new advancements in understanding how our brain works, allow us to create new more effective ways of healing and personal growth.
The “unconscious mind” was in Freud’s opinion, the repository of socially unacceptable ideas, wishes or desires, traumatic memories and painful emotions put out of the mind by the mechanism of psychological repression.
Most healers still refer to this system of understanding our brain. Freud’s system is one hundred years old. There is no part of our mind that is a closet. No part of our brain is unconscious, less conscious or subconscious.
There are various functions that our brain performs. We can think verbally. We can move as we like.
There are also automatic functions our brain performs so we can think about the beautiful person we are dancing with.
The lens that gives us a feeling about their beauty is automatic, the way our heart races as we see their pupils dilate, the automatic sense of movement we feel as we hear the music, the emotions the music elitists within us…all of this is created instantly by the automatic part of our brain I call our “operating system”.
This part of our brain does not understand words but it does much more work than our verbal mind and it does the work so fast words would be too slow.
Our brain uses the pre-verbal language that we learned empathizing with how our parents felt about themselves in various situations. We used this same language to communicate with our body when we emulated and imitated them. The new science and system I use called Cerebrology, allows us to use this same pre-verbal language called affect, to connect to our “operating system” and re-write the feelings we empathized our parents having.
We can connect to a specific feeling we now have about ourselves and replace it with a feeling that we have consciously chosen.The improvement is in the pre-verbal language our operating system uses to instantly direct all the automatic things that go on behind the scenes of what we are thinking about.
If you would like to add the work I offer on this website, to your healing practice or just to help a friend, I would be more than happy to teach or show you to make that easy.
Email me at Bob@ichangereality.com
I hope it will be a welcome new addition to the wonderful healing you are already doing.
There are many ways to heal but they all begin in our heart. I hope this exercise gives you a little more strength in your healing practice my friend.
I belong, the exercise.
Click on the above exercise.
Thank you for all you do.
A new science for our brain?
How can we re-write affect and conditioning?
If we walked thru a blue door ten times and someone slapped us each time, we would develop an apprehension about going thru blue doors. We might be able to go thru any other color but when we went thru the blue ones, we would be apprehensive. Each time we went thru a blue door we would re-record the apprehensive feeling no matter how much we tried not to.
Some people that want us to be “present”, tell us to “think” in some way so that we can relax and be “present”. It may be possible to think and be present while we are relaxing but going thru that blue door requires all of our focus to relax a little. In real life situations, such as an argument, an unexpected stress or too many things happening at once… these “blue doors” happen without giving notice. When we go thru the blue doors that occur in real life, we do not do so well. The way we automatically prepare before we go thru the blue door is an instant and automatic reaction.
If we went thru the blue door just one time and had a wonderful surprise, (for each of us it might be something different that would make us happy) and found that surprise, we would not be reluctant to go thru that blue door again. We would not have the bad reaction again because the feeling we re-recorded about the door had happiness and when we saw a blue door that feeling would be the one we automatically brought up.
Our lives have many blue doors, they hold us back from the life we could have if we could open them. The most powerful blue doors were created when we empathized with the way our parents felt about themselves when we were not yet verbal. We emulated the way they felt just the way we emulated how they walked. How they felt about themselves, came in thru the pre-motor pathway in our brain and is now how we automatically prepare for our blue doors.
The conditioning and successful removal of conditioning experiments, have been done on non-verbal animals. There have been no successful experiments with humans using a verbal process to remove conditioning. The part of our brain that is conditioned does not understand language.
The part of our brain that controls our reactions is something I call our “operating system” and it is not our subconscious or unconscious. I refer to this part of our brain as our operating system, because like the operating system of a computer, it controls many things without us having to think or do anything and it works 24 hours a day.
The limbic system, the pre-motor area and pre-frontal areas of our brain play a major role in automatically preparing us, this is what our operating system does. Our operating system creates our reactions, not our verbal mind. This part of our brain actually directs our thinking much more than our thinking could direct it.
This new science gives us the opportunity to feel good about all of our blue doors. Now “how” we prepare for our blue doors is better, instantly and automatically, so we can create a better experience.
The exercises on this site use this new science and system. We use the same pre-verbal motor memories to find the blue door we want to feel differently about and then we use this same language to create a better feeling about our blue door. The new feeling is recorded and now each time we go thru the blue door the feeling we have is re-recorded not the old feeling. We instantly and automatically have the reactions, perceptions and feelings we want to have to create the experience we should have.
Use this simple exercise to overcome jealousy permanently.
Click on the above exercise
What we see (and how to improve it)
We look at the world and see how we feel. When we feel better everything looks better. When we feel safe we can fall in love.
The world is in love with us and reveals its beauty when we are able to feel our own beauty.
When we feel we are not safe and we are safe, we see without our light.
I want to go to a survivalist meeting and sell “I told you it was the end!” t shirts. I have an idea how much money is being made off of people because they have fear.
I see the cults take advantage of people with fear. They sell motivation and empowerment but then transform people to be comfortable dissociating so they can be even more submissive. Being comfortable being submissive does not make a person present, have clarity or become empowered.
Being relaxed in safe situations is the first step towards not feeling fear. Removing fear allows us to be present and have a feeling of well being that brings colors to our palate. The following exercises are easy to do and will give us what we need to be authentic, present and have the clarity we want.
Please do not do these exercises if you are not assertive enough to feel how important your needs are. If you are not sure if you neglect your own needs, please do the “Making it safe for my inner child.” exercise on this website before the feeling safe exercise. The exercise is about feeling safe in a safe environment and we must be able to create a safe environment for ourselves to do this.
Am I able to feel safe when I am safe?
Click on the above exercise.
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Rewriting what prepared me for something bad to happen in a safe situation.
Click on the above exercise.
When you feel wonderful, you will see how wonderful the world is. Everything is illuminated from within.
Overcoming overwhelming sadness
Overcoming overwhelming sadness without becoming depressed, phoney or thinking it was our love that hurt us.
Let me begin by saying that this is not going to be any nonsense about how to think or what ideas you should have. Telling someone what to think when they are hurt is ridiculous.
This is about growing during grief or loss. Growth is something that improves the chemistry in our brain. If we have a healthy chemistry in our brain during loss we can experience sadness but also see our light shine so we can see our way out of the darkness.
In part one of this work, we have exercises for the loss and sadness we feel from the end of a relationship or from the end of a career or job.
There is loss in relationships, a parent passes or someone we love leaves us. We have the opportunity to grow by allowing ourselves to continue to feel the way we did about ourselves because we were loved.
We should feel good to spite the people that were not good to us and if someone was good to us, we should feel good in memory of them. In either case, we have the opportunity to understand that we have the power to make ourselves feel good. When we understand we can and should feel wonderful even though we miss someone and are sad, we learn to turn on our light and a little light removes a lot of darkness.
This exercise is to help us have a better brain chemistry and feel our power during sadness.
Feeling good about myself.
Click on the above exercise.
The next type of loss is of career. There are times we do not succeed at what we are doing. If we are doing something because we admire ourselves for doing it but do not enjoy what we are doing, we may not make it work. There are things I thought would be a great achievement for me but when I found out they were phoney I was not able to do them. I would be sad because I had wanted to feel good from the success and did not know how to get that feeling otherwise. When I learned how to unconditionally love myself, I was able to give myself rewards for being honest and real. I was able to work hard at things that were outside of “the box” and give myself rewards because I was proud no matter what anyone else thought.
There are times we do enjoy something and just lose our job because of slow business. How do we give ourselves the rewards we got when we were working hard so we could have a good brain chemistry and not get depressed, petty or irritable? We have to learn how to reward ourselves all the time so we have the ability to do more and overcome tough times.
The following exercise will help us to grow from the difficulty and become more of a person we will respect and admire.
Can we give ourselves permission to feel good?
Click on the above exercise.
Giving ourselves the feelings we need, to have the strength to grow
Click on the above exercise.
What heals our heart
Do we want to open our heart and have the passion for life we felt when we were young?
When I was going to Chiropractic College, many instructors told me….”Eighty percent of the time the body heals itself, ten percent of the time we do something to help heal the body, ten percent of the time we do something that makes the healing process take longer.”
We heal over time physically, emotionally and spiritually. The more we understand that we did the healing the more empowered we become.
As we take more responsibility for our lives and give less power to others, we become more aware that “empowered” is about taking our power back.
We want to become strong and healthy in every way. If we were hurt emotionally and someone “helped” us by telling us how to “think” correctly, we may have been helped to stop feeling.
We may know that we have to open our heart again if we are going to feel passion and if we have the courage to live a life where there is pain, there is also a lot of joy.
Exercise your body, exercise your spirit and please, get some exercise for your heart…
Sometimes to truly become whole, we have to be vulnerable. Please try the following exercise, we will see if we have the strength to love again.
Finding what makes it difficult to open my heart.
Click on the above exercise.
Improving how I feel about myself, so I can open my heart again.
Click on the above exercise.
These exercises are not just for romantic love they are to open our heart to the people we care about.
Take out- Drive thru enlightenment
Something warm to bring home
We do self checks to understand how we are feeling from everything else that happened during the day, before we walk in the front door.
There are times we bring a feeling of tension from an entire day into our home and are not aware of it.
How can we be responsible for our part in our experience if we are not aware of what we bring to it?
We are going to first feel the tension we have in our body as we get in the driveway and next we are going to completely let go of all of our tension and go into our home with a wonderful energy.
After we do this exercise in the driveway a couple times, we will enjoy walking in our front door much more and our family look forward to us coming home to be with them much more.
We will have a better experience of our reality by just taking a few minutes to relax before we go in the door.
The following exercise was made because it helped me.
Click on the above exercise
Want to enjoy being more creative
We can remove what prevents us from being more creative
If we are going to look deep inside and express some universal truth that others will be moved by, we have to be able to let go and open ourselves up.
As we let go of the things that prevent or inhibit us from being authentic, we reveal more of ourselves and open a well from which our creativity can flow.
When we remove what inhibits our creativity, we become playful, open our heart to take risks and whenever we do something from our heart we are more creative. When we open our heart we are also able to fulfill our dreams that have meaning.
Adding something is like writing with ink, the ink and the paper are not one, so the addition is not permanent. When we engrave something it is a permanent change, because this is a change within itself. When we remove what has blocked our heart, we have a change within us that is permanent and who we are is revealed.
What is preventing me from doing things I would love
Click on the above exercise
Removing the blocks to my opening up to create
Click on the above exercise
Unconditionally loving ourselves
Would you like to try a five minute exercise that will allow you to unconditionally love yourself?
These exercises will give us self esteem and allow us to reward ourselves all the time, for being authentic not just for the things we do to be admired.
The first exercise gives us the opportunity to find out what is preventing us from being unconditionally loving to ourselves.
This exercise gives us the ability to let go of what prevented us from loving ourselves unconditionally and gives us a new experience of ourselves as unconditionally lovable.
What is different about Drive-thru enlighenment?
We can rewrite memory, so how does that help us to be authentic and enlightened automatically all the time?
The research that has been done that gives us reason to believe we can rewrite memory, was research done to rewrite conditioning in animals. The research unconditioned animals.
How we are able to rewrite memory is that each time a memory is reviewed, we actually are rerecording the memory. Each time we bring up a memory, it stops being a memory and exists as information we are currently using.
When we are playing the memory, it is possible to edit it and then rerecord it. Each time we retrieve a memory we edit it somewhat.
The way animals were unconditioned was to use a drug, so that they did not feel anything that automatically prepared them.
For sake of ease of discussion let us say that whatever memory the animal had of the situation they were conditioned in, made them feel tense or anxious in their body and normally that was rerecorded each time.
Now the animals were given a drug that made them unable to rerecord the feeling of being tense or anxious in that same situation. They were unable to feel tense or anxious so the memory of the situation was now rerecorded without those feelings.
The next time the memory of the situation came up, they did not act tense or anxious.
In Europe they have been testing various drugs on humans to help them to stop having bad feelings associated with memories. The scientists doing this research believe these bad memories are the cause of emotional problems that the subjects taking the test report.
When subjects had a drug given to them to eliminate the feeling associated with the memory, the memory seems to disappear as well.
Losing memories and not having significant improvement in the emotional health and well being have made the progress of these drug tests slower than hoped for.
I personally feel the tests on animals were worthwhile in showing that we can rewrite conditioning. The animals did not need to recall their past to become unconditioned.
There are many chemicals we naturally create inside ourselves, that feel wonderful, relieve anxiety, make us feel beautiful and would easily give us the ability to rewrite the old tapes we have that condition us.
Rewriting something that prepares us so that we have a better feeling about ourselves, is something that happens naturally all the time. We rewrote the way we prepared ourselves and perceived what our relationship with the water was about, when we learned how to float.
The part of the brain that gets conditioned and unconditioned, is the same in animals and humans, it is the area we are going to do our exercises on. This part of of our brain is non-verbal.
The part of our brain we are discussing, for sake of ease of understanding let us call it our operating system…our operating system receives sensory information before our conscious mind.
When we walk thru the woods and jump, we may not know why but we automatically look back and we see it is perhaps a hose or a snake…we can then decide. Our operating system prepared us, because it receives input before we actually see the object in our mind.
We are prepared and ready for things before we could possibly think about them.
There are many pathways of information from our operating system to our verbal mind. There are many less pathways of information from our verbal mind to our operating system.
The information from our operating system is like the sound of an eight lane freeway and the information from our verbal mind is like a small road. The freeway sound overpowers the road and our thoughts are dominated by what is loudest.
We automatically and instantly prepare because of old tapes, if we want to be the authentic version of ourselves, love ourselves unconditionally, feel beautiful, lovable, present and enlightened, it is easy when we know how to rewrite the old tapes.
Our operating system is the part of our brain that is the lens we use to give us the value and meaning we attach to the objects we see. Without this added value, we would not have a feeling about anything we looked at.
The way we perceive ourselves, feel about ourselves or even imagine others view us, is something our operating system instantly and automatically gives us.
The way we see ourselves and feel about ourselves alters the way we feel about others as well.
If what prepares us for what is going to happen in a relationship, tells us we are vulnerable, incapable, ineffectual, or unattractive, it will have an effect on how we are able to experience ourselves and others.
The way we experience ourselves in a relationship changes our relationship.
The experiences we will enjoy, will improve when the way we experience ourselves does.
When we rewrite the erroneous information we have in our operating system, that is similar to the conditioning the animal had before it’s “memory” was rewritten…we will possess the clarity to have a better experience in all relationships.
The experiences we have reinforce the information we have on these old tapes.
If anyone would like to rewrite what may prevent them from automatically feeling unconditional love for themselves, or what prevents them from being the authentic version of who they are….anyone is welcome to enjoy the exercises on this website or contact me for more information.
What is different about Drive-thru enlightenment? …it”s easier to do than other stuff.
Would you like to have control of your reactions?
Becoming enlightened takes more than having good thoughts or feelings.
When we work on our brain, we can grow and permanently improve something about ourselves, whether it is to feel safe, feel beautiful or become enlightened, we want the change to be real.
When we are able to feel what we wanted automatically, we know we have grown.
I am introducing something called Cerebrology. It is a new science about our brain.
Cerebrology uses natural non-verbal techniques to enhance the way we prepare automatically. Our reactions, emotions and perceptions are all just automatic preparations done in the non-verbal part of our brain.
When we enhance the information we have that instantly and automatically prepare us, we can permanently improve many things and become more “ourselves”.
One of the things Cerebrology can improve for us, is the reaction of jealousy. We can permanently remove jealousy because it is a reaction and not a conscious thought.
This simple five minute exercise will rewrite the affect that creates the automatic feeling of jealousy.
I hope you enjoy it.
Click on the above exercise.
